Assessment

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not gonna lie
this limited life experience
gives us some happiness

feeling free in our youth
fun with our friends
getting our bearings

but it’s not always so
we aren’t always so lucky
as evidenced in monstrous curve balls

the older we get
the harder it becomes
to navigate in some semblance of peace

happiness eludes us
negligible moments of comfort
in between the waves of pain

as contentedness is yearned
survival and self-preservation
locks in and takes hold of us

we despair and hope for ease
uttering a cry to be left unharmed
to remain untouched by the sorrows of life

looking back on it all
happiness is elusive and fleeting
the joys felt just dull the anguish

life is hard
life isn’t pretty
but when it’s filled with love, it’s better.

Reblog – About the body by Shayleene MacReynolds

An excellent piece delving deep into what heart-felt emotions can do to us. I was pulled into her descriptions, fascinated by how well it described where grief can lay and feel. Just wonderful!

The Wild Heart of Life

Even though I won’t ever see them again, I still carry them.
Inside and outside
On the lining of my heart
And the edges of my brain
Beneath my fingernails
Or hanging from an eyelash.
They saturate my writing and my words
Sloping from an s, or cradled in a y.
Sometimes, they are even in a glass of whiskey glass of wine.

But this is about the body.

If you were to unwind me out across the earth,
Spread out this fleshboat of a body crack open the ribs and peer beneath the surface—
They would be there too.
Resting on an iliac
Sleeping in a clavicle
Wrapped around the vertebrae
They trickle through the veins.
A small room, and the feel of them inside of it
The light and how it pours in through the window
A book of poetry upon the nightstand
A guitar sitting in the…

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Byproduct

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pxhere.com

i kept your sins sheltered within
you felt no shame, no guilt
the harm you unleashed on me
new scars, freshly laid, bloody patterns
wounds unhealing inside me always raw
the pain withered me into submission
your burden to bear by chance
my penance for choice of heart

but rage will emerge, so beware
for every injury, insult, and humiliation
there will be justice inflicted severely
bloody eye for my bloodied eye
painful welts you’ll receive from strangers
lawless games played for your ways
brutality and cruelty like i received
i’ll see you caged just like me

you made me what i am

Feeling The Pain

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empathy is like a curse
hurting and loving
at the same time
the sounds of cruelty
sing an ugly song
the images scorch my eyes
my strength within
subsides
as my body succumbs to emotions
pain is magnified
as the suffering continues
unkind people
saying one thing
doing another
nothing but liars
abuse of all forms
killing innocence
harming possible futures
the evil sleep well
recounting their deeds
the sufferers of their wickedness do not
grieving with the harmed
wrap them in my being
losing respect and hope for this world
and aching for the vulnerable

Using My Spoons

spoon-theory
Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge #108 – 10/10/19

 

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.*
Every damn day. This life, a daily grind of excruciation.
Always having to adjust mentally, physically and emotionally.
Moving through my day as cautiously as possible.

Pushing through the pain, feeling productive & proud.
I’m beyond the agony when I’m able.
But some days I have no spoons and I go
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave**

 

*Source: “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot
**Source: “Dirge Without Music” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Course Of Life

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your birth, the prelude
to this one great life
foisted into beginning
what so many have done before

family nurtured you, or not
this start fostered your methods
of being in this world
success and failure were in your hands

decisions layered upon decisions
the best you could do, or the worst
chance predicts much of the outcome
and still, you carry on

you reap what you can
others benefit too
glory in the good days
paybacks for your pain

wisdom in the aftermath of living
lessens the evil
from gaining a foothold
in your soul

it’s still a hard road
many leave weak and broken
the lucky ones die
with a smile

they say hell ends when you’re dead

Purpose

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Sydney Sims

Pain is a part of life. Every one of us will experience or have to endure pain.

Minimizing pain requires knowledge, wisdom, action, and bandaids.
Alleviating pain requires living through it.
Eliminating pain requires no instances of infliction.

I think being pain-free only happens before and after we die.

Is our purpose in living only to just feel the least amount of pain?