Using My Spoons

spoon-theory
Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge #108 – 10/10/19

 

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.*
Every damn day. This life, a daily grind of excruciation.
Always having to adjust mentally, physically and emotionally.
Moving through my day as cautiously as possible.

Pushing through the pain, feeling productive & proud.
I’m beyond the agony when I’m able.
But some days I have no spoons and I go
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave**

 

*Source: “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot
**Source: “Dirge Without Music” by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Course Of Life

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your birth, the prelude
to this one great life
foisted into beginning
what so many have done before

family nurtured you, or not
this start fostered your methods
of being in this world
success and failure were in your hands

decisions layered upon decisions
the best you could do, or the worst
chance predicts much of the outcome
and still, you carry on

you reap what you can
others benefit too
glory in the good days
paybacks for your pain

wisdom in the aftermath of living
lessens the evil
from gaining a foothold
in your soul

it’s still a hard road
many leave weak and broken
the lucky ones die
with a smile

they say hell ends when you’re dead

Purpose

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Sydney Sims

Pain is a part of life. Every one of us will experience or have to endure pain.

Minimizing pain requires knowledge, wisdom, action, and bandaids.
Alleviating pain requires living through it.
Eliminating pain requires no instances of infliction.

I think being pain-free only happens before and after we die.

Is our purpose in living only to just feel the least amount of pain?

Our Pain

 

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Instantly life pirouettes from gratifying to suffering.

We stand defiantly watching as uncaring nature delivers its blows.

We hear words spoken carelessly influencing scarred individuals.

We suffer from the ravages of aging and illness.

We have enemies and lovers, intentionally or not, damage our hearts.

We ache as good friends with kind souls die and leave us.

We battle with inferior people foisting their rottenness unto us.

We deal with forceful, unpredictable accidents as they tragically disfigure futures.

We hope for respite.

We wonder when it will end.

But we know.

Stabilized

sdfsdfsd

Pushed over the edge.
Waves of emotions coursing.
Tears flow unlocking the deep hurts.
Loud yells projected to match the pain.
Feelings challenged. Resolutions sought. This torture ends now.
Distancing from the anger, the fear and the abysmal. Letting it go.
Choosing peace, choosing harmony, choosing growth.
Deep relaxation and openness stage a presence.
Self-soothed in this self-connection.
Manifesting healing.