Seeking Light

dysfunction, years in the making
substantive love denied
fuckery freely given
innocence betrayed

rough starts
and disastrous endings
inhaling the methane of my own shit
lungs never quite breathing freely

almost at the end
sinking the lowest
gave rise to aspiration
and just like that, there was hope

Meltdowns

Gabriella Clare Marino – Unsplash

Inspired by Sadje’s What do you see #78 and VJ’s Weekly Challenge – I’m bored

i’m bored!
my teddy bear fell in the toilet!
i’m hungry!
jeffy took my crayons!
i’m thirsty!
mama, my finger is stuck!
sandra poked me!
jeffy hit me!
mommy, the cat looked at me funny!

come darlings
lunch is ready
the kiddie table is set
maybe some wine and a cigarette will calm you two down?

**DISCLAIMER – I’ve never offered toddlers wine or cigarettes.

Injuries

it was plain to see, flying like a plane off her wooden stilts
there would be blood
there was no pain as the broken window pane sliced down beside her left eye
so much blood discombobulated her mother
tears took center stage, not the white t-shirt now stained dark red
the hysteria in the background so oscar worthy
a little girl watching the performance
not knowing yet there were deeper wounds created
years passed before mom and her chronic attention-whoring
got that so richly deserved smack-down
the girl, now a woman, didn’t clap, fawn or adore anymore
she just walked away

Inspired by Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Saturday Mix

After Life

no one really even begins to tell you the truth
or maybe they are but
you just aren’t paying attention

it’s not all roses and sunshine
sustaining and nurturing life
it’s work, sweet but also filled with sorrow

that first look promises everything
truths unfolding eventually
moments can be filled with as much suckness as joy

because that’s life
a bouncing between two extremes
hopefully nestling more towards the middle

there’s sickness and whines
lots of snot and green squirts
a feeling of “will this ever end?”

at times rejoicing at the child’s laughter in new discovery
that first walk, mama and dada hearing their names
and a multitude of things in the positive column

decades of months of patience
doing right by baby, by family and maybe herself
holding it together, for one and all

then along comes the back talk of teenager angst
rebellion, screaming matches, threats of eviction
the tears in a mother’s hearts grow deeper

years of up and down emotions
tears of capitulations and smiles of jubilation
limits tested until just about snapping

then the agonies fade, sweet memories recalled
old pictures remind us of the evolution of the tiny beings
child-rearing becomes just something we all went through together

pages in their story book filled by their imagination
now independent and free from guidance
their journeys beginning to take shape

a look back brings bittersweet tears
but glancing forward forms a smile
a face filled with pride for these men i birthed

Wordle #464

The glow in her face reflected the correct amount of money had been spent on her. She was such a mean and self-centered little brat. Her voice made this awful din, continuously thrumming when she didn’t get what she wanted—what a whiny cretin she was. Santa’s imaginary slide down the chimney and his short stint spent drinking the milk and cookies left for him made her wave her hands excitedly. He’d sure have a stain on his reputation had they not made it look convincing! Fiddling with the clasp on my chain, my thought was, “Score one for the parents!”

Inspired by The Sunday Whirl

Pieces Of Me

all we consist of
resides in our progeny
a creation from two bloodlines
our biology dictating
the continuation of self
a birthing watered down
or a carbon copy ensues
the hair, the eyes
the frame and more
resemblance gives credence
to which clan it belongs

parents, the ones who care
give even more of themselves
sometimes, to the brink of thresholds
from where there is no return
all for the sake of the child
spawn filled to capacity
with the best of who the creators and mentors are
remedying the worst in themselves
while simultaneously cleansing
their seed of poor judgment
every ounce of care given
is preparation
for the next generation
before again passing
the cycle of life torch
some might say ad nauseam

First Love

Untitled

if only human babies
came into this world
feeling unconditional
self-acceptance

or that they had a deep
understanding of themselves
seeing only a healthy, positive self-image
possessing a tremendous amount of self-respect

right from the beginning
it would be helpful
for them to know how
to enjoy their own company

able to forgive themselves as necessary
when to say no
and mean it
respecting their boundaries

to be proud of themselves
and their achievements
that it was ok to accept applause
and to pursue their dreams

to understand that challenges
are a part of growth
that they possessed the strength of character
to know what was best

if only they knew all these things at birth…

less damage would be done as they aged
as they felt the cruelty and destructiveness
of the older generations
or the indiscriminate hazards of life

if only their first love would be themselves…

if only we would teach them they are worthy of that love…