Published on Spillwords Press!

Cold-Hearts-spillwords

Some exciting news to share with you all – SpillWords Press has accepted and published a new piece of mine – Cold Hearts! Many thanks to Dagmara K – Director of Development and Editor – for selecting this piece for publication. I’m honored to be featured at SpillWords!

Please take a moment to visit the link above to read about this free verse, micro poem which deals with the bitterness and feelings of betrayal in relationships gone bad.

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Shocking upheaval delivered unexpectedly.

The heartache pounded harshly inward.

Internal distress burnt a tortuous red.

A deep cut surrounded by a million small tears.

The stress widened all the wounds.

Anguish and heartbreak followed.

The future, unending and suffering agony.

Sorrow and grief dictated the next steps for survival.

This daedal misery mimicked a slow death.

Love left in an upset heap, an untidy disarray of hurt.

This… this from someone who cherished commitment.

Originally published 6/22/18

Endured Anguish

123
KatJ

coming up on 13 years
the memory
the emotional gut punch
still
gnaws in my belly
at the recollection
of that move of yours
your betrayal
such poor form
to hold hidden fierce truths
years of lies
went by
camouflaged in my perceived sincerity

it’s what fools don’t know
that keep wretched people
like you
in the spotlight
of adoration
but no more
it’s time
you become the stranger you are
because you weren’t real
ever
not now
and certainly not in the past

she, who will never be recalled
will no longer
make me grit my teeth
send a surge thru my stomach
no longer
will i care
no longer
will i wince at the mention of your name
you don’t deserve to take up any room in my headspace
or my heart

I Have Questions

ddfsdfdas

now you are angry at god
are you angry at yourself
do you care we’ll lose you
feeling self-condemnation laying on your deathbed
regretting the deals with the devil
feeling sad you’re losing the battle
looking forward to the end yet
are your tears burning your face
ashamed you’re stinking of death now
you wanting smoke break time back
wishing you’d been smarter or stronger
was it worth the ugly cancer
was it worth losing all love
will you miss your dear family
was any of it worth it

surprised at how angry I am
you do know I am afraid

All The Rage

untitled
Inspired by BrewNSpew Cafe – Cloister

cloistered
surrounded by many
the raw emotions
remain inside

oh, if only
one could
unfetter
and spew

there’s safety
remaining hidden
but danger
staying shushed

mental health
physical health
all in crisis
because of silence

what will it take
to emerge
to purge
to break free

End Of Innocence

tumblr_nuozzuutIC1s5qhggo5_500
Tumblr

One of the most powerful art pieces from Burning Man: A sculpture of two adults after a disagreement, sitting with their backs to each other. Yet, the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect. Age has many beautiful gifts but one we could live without is the pride and resentment we hold onto when we have conflicts with others. The forgiving, free spirit of children is our true nature. Remember this when you feel stubborn.
~ https://me.me/i/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-from-burning-man-9259489~

 

seething in silence, hot tears to the inside

wanting resolution in a war of no words

terrified to lose you but only wanting to win

the walls are getting thicker, higher

harder to tear down

we are a problem not wanting to be solved

Stabilized

sdfsdfsd

Pushed over the edge.
Waves of emotions coursing.
Tears flow unlocking the deep hurts.
Loud yells projected to match the pain.
Feelings challenged. Resolutions sought. This torture ends now.
Distancing from the anger, the fear and the abysmal. Letting it go.
Choosing peace, choosing harmony, choosing growth.
Deep relaxation and openness stage a presence.
Self-soothed in this self-connection.
Manifesting healing.

Shielding

Sticks-and-Stones-Soren-Palmer
Clarion Content Media

The injurious are on the prowl.

Instinctively my guard goes up.

Hurling words to pierce the psyche.

Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.

Another and another and another.

The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball. 

Humiliation the game, the victor no one.

I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.

Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this!

Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.

I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.

I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.