I Have Questions

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now you are angry at god
are you angry at yourself
do you care we’ll lose you
feeling self-condemnation laying on your deathbed
regretting the deals with the devil
feeling sad you’re losing the battle
looking forward to the end yet
are your tears burning your face
ashamed you’re stinking of death now
you wanting smoke break time back
wishing you’d been smarter or stronger
was it worth the ugly cancer
was it worth losing all love
will you miss your dear family
was any of it worth it

surprised at how angry I am
you do know I am afraid

All The Rage

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Inspired by BrewNSpew Cafe – Cloister

cloistered
surrounded by many
the raw emotions
remain inside

oh, if only
one could
unfetter
and spew

there’s safety
remaining hidden
but danger
staying shushed

mental health
physical health
all in crisis
because of silence

what will it take
to emerge
to purge
to break free

End Of Innocence

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One of the most powerful art pieces from Burning Man: A sculpture of two adults after a disagreement, sitting with their backs to each other. Yet, the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect. Age has many beautiful gifts but one we could live without is the pride and resentment we hold onto when we have conflicts with others. The forgiving, free spirit of children is our true nature. Remember this when you feel stubborn.
~ https://me.me/i/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-from-burning-man-9259489~

 

seething in silence, hot tears to the inside

wanting resolution in a war of no words

terrified to lose you but only wanting to win

the walls are getting thicker, higher

harder to tear down

we are a problem not wanting to be solved

Stabilized

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Pushed over the edge.
Waves of emotions coursing.
Tears flow unlocking the deep hurts.
Loud yells projected to match the pain.
Feelings challenged. Resolutions sought. This torture ends now.
Distancing from the anger, the fear and the abysmal. Letting it go.
Choosing peace, choosing harmony, choosing growth.
Deep relaxation and openness stage a presence.
Self-soothed in this self-connection.
Manifesting healing.

Shielding

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Clarion Content Media

The injurious are on the prowl.

Instinctively my guard goes up.

Hurling words to pierce the psyche.

Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.

Another and another and another.

The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball. 

Humiliation the game, the victor no one.

I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.

Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this!

Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.

I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.

I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.

Smoldering

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The unaddressed haunts the vitality of the future.
A boiling, hot mess of resentment seething right below the surface.
Repetitively protecting the external while the red-hot hatred burns.
The barely suppressed rage remains coiled inside.
Implosion imminent.

Eventually, it will kill you.

Painful Confusion

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Shocking upheaval delivered unexpectedly.

The heartache pounded harshly inward.

Internal distress burnt a tortuous red.

A deep cut surrounded by a million small tears.

The stress widened all the wounds.

Anguish and heartbreak followed.

The future, unending and suffering agony.

Sorrow and grief dictated the next steps for survival.

This daedal misery mimicked a slow death.

Love left in a upset heap, an untidy disarray of hurt.

This… this from someone who cherished commitment.