Redux
Oh, Tazanna. I see you.
What a sublime vision.
My mind’s eye sees your majesty.
The glorious, the superb, the marvelous,
And the million other adjectives describing your presence.
I’m there reveling in it.
Swept away but immobile.
Will you notice me?
Originally published 8/29/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
Feeling and analyzing as the inchoate rises in my mind.
I’m leaning into what arrives.
Layering thoughts to complete some insight.
I’m crafting wisdom.
Nothing is random in expression.
I’m sharing what’s important.
Who does it touch?
I’m hoping it’s you.
Redux
You got close to me in a way I’d never felt before.
Your sensual touch took my breath away.
Your fingers left a trail of goosebumps down every bit of my body.
You bathed me in love and surrounded me with comfort.
Your kisses left me weak and all in.
We played well for years.
We fought the world and won.
We ensured the next generation felt loved.
We made a home.
We had joy.
They looked in and saw happiness.
They were envious.
They felt we got love right.
They tried to catch our affection.
They wished they were us.
Then…
I was missing the love.
I felt bereft.
I ached for you.
I waited for you.
I wanted you still.
She insinuated herself into our love.
She was bright, shiny and new.
She was trouble.
She got in our way.
She destroyed us.
He saw my worth.
He proclaimed his desire.
He soothed my pain.
He eased my tears.
He was my friend.
It forced honesty.
It helped me find understanding.
It propelled me into a new reality.
It changed me.
It saved me.
Me, I got a lot of work to do.
Me, figuring things out.
Me, facing all my demons.
Me, fighting for myself.
Me, getting it all right.
Us, starting again.
Us, hurting all over to fix our love.
Us, going forward and taking two steps back.
Us, loving each other anyway.
Us, doing it together.
Redux
It’s the place underneath the obvious.
I wanna go deep.
Time to overcome this unease.
I wanna be still.
To excise the superficial, project the truth.
I wanna be real.
To let the music carry me on its wings.
I wanna feel free.
Reveal the tenderness and compassion buried in my pain.
I wanna be me…
I wanna be happy.
Originally published 8/23/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
Life doing its unintentional thing can hurt.
I weep, pull myself up and move on.
People’s forced recklessness do harm.
I weep inconsolably,
going deeper into my shell.
Feelings amplified in this echo chamber.
Can’t hear the external anymore.
I hide for a while,
working everything out inside.
And I emerge.
Lessons
I’ve had more than a few.
Originally posted 2/22/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
There once was a feisty girl from Berlin.
Blonde and smart with legs built for sin.
Being direct, explicit and honest,
she was only slightly modest.
Good on her feeling free in her skin!
Originally published 8/20/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
expand into your uncomfortable zone
relish the anguish
capture your strength
propel into your future
just because you dared
Originally published 8/19/2018 on I Write Her. Posted here with revisions.
Silent deception
Confident chicanery
You smiling bastard
Hard hit to the heart
Foreign reality now
Weight of lies broke me
Forever altered
Gazillion hurt pieces
Difficult to breathe
Difficult to live
Struggling to survive in pain
Dark for a long time
Originally published 8/17/2018 on I Write Her.
the hustle and bustle around me
a layer i observe but don’t hear
isolated from the bubbles of others
trying to assimilate
there goes my gently bouncing head
the shoulders follow in synchronicity
to the rhythm of the music
i settle into the warm pocket
of my own construct
this created isolation
smooth vibes
smiles
ease
swaying in this soothing world
the melodies touching my soul
moving slowly through lyrical liquid
if only i didn’t ever have to put my phone on airplane mode
Originally posted August 16, 2018 on I Write Her. Published today with revisions.
Redux
Ghosts of the past linger in the chambers of my memory.
Like the heavy feel of lanolin staining memories a smudged yellow.
An intervening moment of serendipity removes the hold of bygone days.
Again, my simpatico relationship meaningfully ties me to my abundant present.
*I was given these bolded/highlighted four words during a visit with my bestie. Thank you for the inspiration, Terry!
Originally published 8/15/2018 on I Write Her.
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