Nobody ever says that, that those who fear falling in love have this tendency to be more affectionate and nurturing and gentle lovers. It’s not the fear of “falling in love” that they’re actually afraid of but the fear of “being in love.” The fear of being somewhere they’ve always wanted and the fear of not being worthy enough of it. Juansen Dizon – Philophobia
I was the golden warrior.
Found my place, made my name.
I chose you.
You were deemed worthy.
But then you pulled away.
Stayed but let me wonder.
Who am I now without you really there?
Felt shaken, unsure.
Forced me to beg.
I wasn’t sure anymore if I was desirable.
How could you do this?
I trusted you to love me whole.
Honor and love me forever.
This is how you respect me?
I let you in believing I was worth so much to you.
Life doing its unintentional thing can hurt. I weep, pull myself up and move on.
People’s forced recklessness do harm. I weep inconsolably, going deeper into my shell. Feelings amplified in this echo chamber. Can’t hear the external anymore.
I hide for a while, working everything out inside. And I emerge.