Jason and Ian, my precious babies.
Motherhood meant striving to give them the best of me they were deserving of then realizing they were rewarding me with more value than I had to offer.
Years of moments – delicious, frustrating, hurt, joyful, enlightening, spontaneous, fun, sad – quickly turned both into young men. Adults venturing out into the world, and away from me.
As new chapters develop in their lives, I’m looking forward to their stories, their adventures. As they offer the world the best of themselves, may life reciprocate and give back in abundance what they so richly deserve.
***the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
are my lessons.
Sentience is my total existence.
Begin again with every lesson learned.
Try out a new skin of knowledge.
I say defiantly
Uttered with recalcitrant anger through gritted teeth; words forcefully arising out of my clenched mouth.
I’ve not let my life, situations, people or anything end me. Yet.
I grant a thank you, of sorts, to the pain played out by substandard friends, broken relationships, betrayals, nature’s force and every disturbing event determined to pierce me in my psyche.
It’s a necessary process, albeit grueling and inconvenient.
Enduring hardships becomes my opportunity to best myself.
I welcome the growth, but I do despise the adversity.
There’s no escape from struggles, or hurt and pain.
The victory gives me just enough strength for the next battle.