The Art Of Being Self-Absorbed

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I was once called a narcissist. Unbelievable coming from a 30+ years old friend. 

I do understand what a narcissist is now, as I lived with one for 18 years. It happened to be my mother. I also know that I have been influenced by her behavior which in turn could lead me to mimic it at times. Understanding who she was and the impressions she left, forced me to look at myself diligently. There are many articles and so much information about this personality type. All of which I feel the need to read, to this day. Fear of becoming her is the biggest motivator. I’m ensuring I do not ever become the worst of who my mother was.

Bottom line, that ex-friend was full of shit. She was deflecting because, in reality, the narcissist in our relationship was her. I had basically traded one unhealthy relationship for another. A knee-jerk reaction, just reaching out for what was familiar. And it took me forever to figure that out.

Knowing what a narcissist is now has helped me understand why I have allowed so many others over the years with the same tendencies to become friends with me. They enmeshed themselves in my life so effortlessly only to watch as they abruptly and harshly disappointed me. They left some deep marks.

All have been hard lessons.

Needless to say, I work hard now at not repeating history.

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The Battle

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Hate. It’s insidious. Globally it’s been creeping back into our societies. We need to counter it in ways which protect and further goodness rather than reduce us in being the people who are the enemy.

But what does that look like?

Honestly, I don’t even know. I just feel that I’m not ready for the battle.

I imagine so many are feeling the same way. That is what might be the biggest problem facing us today. How do we get over feeling defeated and run-over? I wish that would change. But I don’t know if it can.

I’m left agonizing over what to do next. You too?

Inspired by Go Dog Go Cafe – Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge 10/30/18

Grow A Conscience, Please!

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Kat Yukawa

So, you think money is at the root of all evil? You know what they say about clichés – like bumholes, everyone has got one. It’s a phrase that you say when it’s not really been thought through.

I would offer a different view. The bad intention behind the use of money is the root of all evil.

Think about it.

Money isn’t all bad. If it was, why would we be trying so hard to make it or get it? First and foremost – it’s for our survival! We do happen to live in a society where money is required to buy the bare necessities. Whether it’s to pay rent or a mortgage for shelter, money for food when we’re hungry or the doctor when we’re sick; these things need to be paid for. Money IS what meets those needs. And money gives us a small amount of comfort to indulge in those things that we want, not just need, should we have a bit extra. Spending money in this sense is self-preservation, so not a bad thing and certainly not evil.

And second, what about all the charitable things we can do with the money? When non-profit organizations do their thing, how do you think those actions get funded? With MONEY! Oh and what about natural disasters, how do tragedies get solved? With MONEY! And lots of it. All the people who donate to disaster relief or charities for a wide variety of causes, not evil.

So money isn’t inherently bad, and neither are the people who spend money with good intentions. Why money does get a bad reputation though is when “Money makes the world go round.”  in ways that only benefit a few and helps them to achieve a good life on the backs of others. Couldn’t resist another cliché to make my point. And that point being, if the intention of getting or spending money is to the detriment of others, that’s evil.

Corruption and greed fuel their intention, money just allows it to blossom because people make the decision to give in to these behaviors. Somehow their needs are more important than the well-being of others. It’s sickening, and it’s uncivilized.

Let’s take a look some of the examples*:

  • Prosperity Preachers
  • Heads of Corporations
  • Heads of Non-profits
  • Crooked Government officials
  • Psychics/Mediums
  • Scam/Con Artists
  • Drug Cartels

*Not all people listed in this set are what I would refer to as evil, but a predominant number fit the bill. Also, people who have bad intentions are everywhere, and in every walk of life, this is but a short list of obvious suspects. 

I’ve lived a life that included poverty at the beginning, gave me struggles to overcome in the middle and now gives me comfort in my current lifestyle, but at each step, I’ve never desired to hurt others in achieving a better life. Nor do I require such a luxurious life which would seclude me from the majority of the population. All I need is my health to enjoy a bit of ease, have some fun and spend my precious time with my family and friends as I venture into my twilight years. I do want to take care of myself but I would never choose to hurt others to accomplish that.

Money and bad intentions – that is crossing the line of decency. And that’s what is evil.

 

Inspired to write this for Reena – Exploration Challenge Week 59

 

Status Quo

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ALL the communities they stomp on have been pounded down long enough.
As the oppressed, we’ve seen and taken abuse in all forms.
Many have died.

We’ve watched and endured their childish ways.
And been on the receiving end of their vile behavior for way too long.
Suffered too much.

The oppressors – all shapes, colors, and forms – have ignored decency for an eternity.
The torture, the depravity, the madness of their control must end.
It is ENOUGH!

Things must change for the better.
We’re done with going two steps forward and six back.
There is no place for them at the table of civility.

ALL who they deem disposable will have their revolution.
They’ve pushed them too far.
There is a storm coming.

It’s time to clear out the rot.
Return the evil to the rocks from under which they crawled out.
May we learn to never repeat the sins of our past.

And may the nefarious never return…

Think

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Man should think; he should use all his senses; he should examine; he should reason. The man who cannot think is less than man; the man who will not think is traitor to himself; the man who fears to think is superstition’s slave.
Robert G. Ingersoll

Read, learn, listen… take every opportunity to educate yourself about this world. You are a human being who lives on this planet and in this society. Your understanding of how it works and runs contributes to it running better, for all of us. 
Susi Bocks

 

Possible severe consequences from not thinking.

 

Elusive Freedom

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It starts with being born. There isn’t a choice in the matter. I certainly played no part in being here. Did you?

Had I been asked, I may have said, “No, thank you.”

We come into the world under the control of whatever mechanism which put us here. Just by instinct and choice, we continue to want to experience life. Then we are bound by the rules of those who raise us. Even when we graduate from the family into adulthood, our subsequent years usher us into the next line of restrictions on our freedom.

“These are paths to be taken!” says our society! It tends to dispense authoritative advice to the youth as they are just emerging into their own legally. School, good job, marriage, children – continue the cycle. It’s as if because members of society did it, that is the automatic direction everyone should take. I hope I wasn’t too bossy with my children.

Should individuals choose a different path, their opinion to be unique still won’t shut down those opposing viewpoints. Assimilate! Don’t stand out! Don’t go against our way of how things have always been done! When did we as a society decide that people being or doing life differently meant it was a problem? Probably since forever.

In the work world, we see employers dictate exactly how to fit into the square box called the company. It’s called compliance, and understandably so, one does need to get paid to continue this experience called life. Food, water, and shelter are a requirement to sustain. But oh how it dulls the individual! I’ve heard it said that’s why it’s called work and not fun.

Raising our children (should we decide to have them) provides us with even more ways we must adhere to other’s expectations, whether they be our own family, friends or public opinion. It seems everyone has a view on that. “Do this, don’t do that!”

Of course, compliance with the law of the land to live civilly in our community, state, country, or the world seems a smart choice. It’s being able to live in harmony with the others who also had no say in being born. Does that define being free though – adherence to the expectations of others?

I don’t think so.

If we are to have the right and the power to be exactly who we want to be without any pushback, it will require a world absent of people who disagree with how individuals wish to act, declare, or display themselves to this world.

This world would be empty. And lonely.

No different than so many people feel right now where we have a society filled with people which do disagree with individuals all the time.

Neither world is a pleasant experience for those who yearn to feel unobstructed.

I don’t think we can ever feel 100% free.

Life is a continual series of compromises to achieve some level of comfort in a life which we did not choose.

Lyrical Yin-Yang

 

I love this song for so many reasons. But that one line in the chorus “Everything that kills me makes me feel alive…”, that knocked something over in me internally and got my attention. It hooked me hard, the rest of the lyrics just kept pulling me in deeper.

When you think of the Chinese philosophy, this video captures the two principles distinctly. Yin – negative, dark, and feminine and Yang – positive, bright, and masculine whose interaction influences the destinies of creatures and things.

Throughout the music video, you can see the contrast playing out. Hope, despair. Doing life your way, being led. Determination, defeat. Good, evil. Fighting the establishment, following it. Every bit of being engaged in either spectrum will lead you to the results you experience in your life. Fact.

That one line though is the point – we all need to get to our darkest depths to escape and break through to the other side where there’s light. Crumbling from defeat is where life begins again. We have to experience it all to have it be a whole life, to feel complete throughout the entirety of it.

Every time I listen to this, I imagine the tastiness of living fully engaged.

It feels good and bad.