Tryst In Dreams

Redux
Originally published on PhiloSusi 9/9/15, reposted with minor revisions.

I stir, aroused by the return of past fiery life episodes. The intensity of the morning awakening revives exquisite sensations and feelings; I’m in awe of the desire which returns me and deposits me back into my past.

The pull of his gaze, a finger tracing my mouth and drawing me closer to his lips. Soft, warm wetness, mine mixing with his. Each kiss, tender and fierce, hasten our breaths. There’s an urgency, a tension demanding release, but craving so much more before it comes.

Our hands brush across each other, clutching then releasing at the subtle moments. Sighs and moans escape our lips when the gentleness or coarseness reaches a threshold in our bodies. Arching our bodies, pressing closer, the bulge of desire wanting to be cupped. It all feels so quick but in slow motion. The haze of excitement moves us, our bodies following an unscripted dialogue, but knowing exactly what to say.

We explore with our eyes and undress each other with our hands. Our clothing is our only barrier, so much is already understood – the hunger to taste each other, the desire bound tightly until the right moment it can escape, the secret carnal needs – all are free at this moment.

Our tongues speak the language of sensuality, experiencing color in what we taste. The room feels engulfed by us, our red-hot fluidity. We vibrate with the energy of our imminent coupling. Every cell in our being is aroused with anticipation, and every hair prickles with electricity; our bodies are in tune to receive what the other has to give.

Deliciousness and moans escape our lips as our limbs intertwine, feeling the smoothness of our skin as we embrace deeper into one another. Oh, the strength of our muscles tighten around each other, neither leaving intensity behind. The excitement builds, and the urgency to satisfy rises up in us both. We are open and ready now. Our passion is strong; our desires need expression.

Our eyes meet each other hungrily, penetrating the depths of our beings. It sends us deeper into our emotional hot bed inside; the tryst becomes more and more intense. The intuitive knowing of what needs to be touched and when delivers us to even more heights. What feels like an invisible fire engulfs us both as we aim to reach the crucial element of our desires.

And then I wake up…

Splash!

Excitedly, the ocean welcomes me back with its liquid embrace.

Summer is over, but thoughts of the ocean continue to draw my mind back to sunny landscapes of white sand, blue water, palm trees, and the variety of activities nature’s playground offers. The images temporarily fade away as I step out into the cooling winds and changing colors around me. Shortly after that, my mind wants to return to where the sun heats the sand and my body. The place where ease is the staple of the day, and night promises no worries.

I’m homesick for paradise.

Suzanne Lea

Leaving 

She kissed the lip of every teacup
in the cupboard,
tasting each daybreak
born on mismatched posies.
Touched every spoon
with damp fingertips,
leaving only the impression of loss.
Whispered into the pockets of overcoats,
a story about cold days
and castoffs.
Asked the spider
behind the bathroom door
to remember to pay the paperboy.
Finally, she touched the corner
of the tattered Afghan throw.
The one with the intricate pattern of squares
holding everything together.
Then she gently pulled a single thread
and began the process
of unraveling every stitch

14

He is dead now. In a small beige room, I realize my hands are empty. A stranger in a navy blue suit is talking about Jesus. I do not remember where I left my cup of coffee but I am told that Jesus is nearby. The man in the suit suggests we pray for comfort. Asking Jesus for comfort feels like asking my abuser to hug me after he has punched me in the gut. I cannot find my coffee cup but I wish I could. An empty cup would be so much easier to hold than the weight of this.

Learning to Write

I am learning to write all the words I have carried around inside me. This requires a gentler touch than I am used to. Noisy is easy, writing is harder. Each time I intend to write, produce a snapshot of a thing that isn’t me, every landscape becomes a self-portrait. Without me, I can not anchor my words to a story. My writing is still in its infancy. A larvae of the animal it will become. Until it has grown to its full potential, I offer each word as a gift, a prayer, an invitation and I leave myself, willingly, caught up in the meaty tissue at the center of every story.

The Happy Hour Wolf

Leaning in heavily
ham-fisting his highball like a vice
he drops his wilted butt on the floor between us.
Smoke oozing from between his pointy teeth
he licks his juicy bourbon mustache
and smiles hungrily.
“How about a bite to eat?” he whispers into his highball 
and immediately, 
I am sure he means me.

That Kind of Girl

I wish I was the kind of girl who’d taken a left instead of a right and ended up in a different town. Perhaps if I was another kind of girl, I’d meet you in a bar and I’d tell you that I thought you were pretty, even though I meant you were handsome. I might let you buy me a drink. I might kiss you in the bathroom, pressed against the stall. If I was that girl, I’d write my name in sharpie on your hand, only this time, you’d call.

~~~

Suzanne Lea is a southern writer with a fondness for dark chocolate and swear words. She has been published in numerous online journals and magazines, as well as the print anthology, Crooked Letter i: Coming out in the South

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