Fire And Ice

fire and ice

The fire in you warms me.
My coolness keeps you from burning to a crisp.

Manage my happiness! 

But my needs are subject to your approval.
Navigating your ego is treacherous.

Peace and quiet, no conflict!

There’s no room for mine.

Advertisements

Conundrum

girl jeans kid loneliness
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

I’ve got everything I need except everything I want.

                                                                                        Susi Bocks

I’m Scared

sad sunflower

Reaching in you’ll see it’s hard to find me.

I’m a discovery to be accessed when my psyche is at ease.

When I see you mean me no harm,

I’ll surround you like quicksand.

You’ll be immersed, enveloped by who I am.

You haven’t even begun to uncover what I want to give you.

Attachments

Untitled

What is intimacy but a raw exposure to another in the face of possible rejection?

It’s a courageous effort to know another’s being while exposing your own. Kind of a “show me yours, I’ll show you mine” adventure of the heart.

When there is a connection to the genuine stirred from within, there is loyalty which knows no bounds. An attachment as strong as steel.

A bond of sincerity and love with an eagerness to never break. It won’t when it’s real.

Choosing each other is feeling comfort in that heartshaped space. Loving each other is purposefully conveying only good intentions.

I wish you all intimacy in your lives.

There’s Nothing There

Untitled

I’m reaching out, engaging and scrutinizing;

skimming through to see you.

Holding you intently, purposefully and committed.

You seemed an open book.

The audio version of your story mesmerizing, your truth so bold.

Then I went beyond your notes and found blank pages.

They told a different story.

You ring hollow.

There’s nothing there.

I have to put this book down.

The efforts made to unravel the mystery, and

the chances taken diving right in brought me no pleasure.

I learned nothing.

Maybe another blank page can read you properly.

I won’t waste my time on an empty binding.

Not again.

When I’m ready to read again, I’m sure

I’ll find a better book to discover.

 

Loving to Death

Untitled.png

“It’s the only way I know how to love someone. If I bring a smile to someone’s face, I feel like I have shown them I love them. So, yes, I look to make her happy. Her happiness means the world to me.” And the therapist asked a question I could not answer then, “At what cost to you…?”

Acquiescent Soul Blog

Giving that doesn’t take into account a woman’s desires, isn’t shared happiness.

It’s an obligation on her part to say thank you for a kindness without thought.

Each act showing a deliberate lack of understanding her soul.

Recognize retribution for your ignorance will cost you the relationship.

And it’s not her fault.

But there you’ll go, blaming her and all woman-kind.

Grow up.

 

 

Love Lessons

 

cropped-Website-Header-Pink-Shirt-01
HarrisonSteele.com

 

This past weekend, in between friendship, fellowship, and education, I also had the privilege of getting to know this young man and his music. Each experience was delightful.

In this short time together, Harrison managed to bring my focus to love leaving me no choice but to speak with him about his work. The musical moments he offered, made me think about the necessary human entanglement.

Imagine the band Judah and the Lion compacted into one person. That’s his sound, and his essence is poured out in the lyrics. He has a rich, passionate voice combined with some heart-string pulling sentiments. It was a full-on, soul-enriching morning being entertained by his palpable enthusiasm for his craft.

We had a conversation about love because his songs reminded me of that constant search for the romantic that gets within reach and can quickly get complicated, or end.

I was so drawn to the simplicity of his words tackling such a tricky topic. Emotions end up all over the spectrum and can alter your state of being literally in a heartbeat. During his performance, I experienced love and heartache in the same song. This felt like the pursuit of love or the state of being it defined well.

He gets it.

Now I’m a fan.

“For me, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that love is thinking we are trying to find love, but we’re actually trying to define love.”, I commented. It seemed to resonate. His reaction was one of agreement and an eye-opening “yes!” followed. We experienced a consensus in closeness.

With each heartache, we refine what we need. And hopefully, we determine what is best for our being. Our personhood which is ever evolving, borne out of situation and circumstance, defining the picture of uplifting and inspiring companionship tinted with intentional desire.

Thank you, Harrison, for making the words ring genuine. Much success in your pursuits!

Ever – Part 2

What inspires me to write could be a current situation and the positive or negative emotions it brings up, or I’m merely reflecting on memories, and the feelings recalled. Those moments when they strike are my material, so to speak; they are what I entertain you with.

I dislike Valentine’s Day. I’m sure many who read what I’m about to say will argue there is a beneficial aspect to it, but I can’t grasp anything remotely useful about it. To me, it’s a non-sensical celebration. There I said it, not ashamed either.

Hallmark, candy and chocolate stores, floral shops, restaurants, jewelry stores, hair salons, spas, and many other commercial establishments are making a killing off people who buy into this bogus day.  2018 saw approximately $19.7 billion in revenue. Yes, it is contributing to our capitalistic society by providing hold-in-your-hand products to alleged lovers of others, on this one particular day. But who wants to be loved just because someone demanded you do, and show it their way. Is this billion dollar business actually bringing anything of value by marketing this day as something compulsory when you love someone? I personally think no, it doesn’t.

My feeling is you should love your special someone if you have one of those, 365 days a year. One day of playing by the rules of industries profiting off you doesn’t make up for the other 364 days of how your person of affection wasn’t appreciated.

I especially don’t like that day on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore relationships that are genuine, but I don’t always see that on FB or in real life very often. I’ll applaud those who are mature and loving, whether they are intense or not. But the shallow ones, they leave me kind of meh.

What prompted me to post that 6-day story on my personal page was to my husband and also in direct response to the unextraordinary relationships I see playing out on FB. Obviously, all my FB friends would see it too. The point being, for my spouse,  I was trying to convey – in a quite unromantic gesture – “honey, this is the only marriage I will ever be in, ever again.” It wasn’t meant to be positive or negative, just a declaration of my reality.  I was being unromantic. It was my take on how romantic gestures don’t mean shit unless your intention coincides. A personal statement wrapped in social commentary.

Interestingly, those friends commenting had drawn a hard line on that experience; all of them. They took it to mean that marriage sucks, never doing it again. Who wouldn’t say it, if it did? I would understand the knee-jerk reaction if the situation was not a good one.

So naturally, I was curious (cause I’m always curious!) if more people on this larger platform read this, how would they interpret my 6-word story? What would their takeaway be? The Ever post hit the day after Valentine’s Day along with a request for readers to fill out a short poll about their reaction to the 6-word story.

giphy-downsized

I’m sad that hardly anyone took the time to share their thoughts. Only a total of nine people took the time to respond. But regardless, the answers they provided showed overwhelmingly, a negative reply.

That made me go “Hmmmm.” 70% were jaded. We’re in love with love, but we’re seemingly unsatisfied. That’s sad to me. And again, makes me think that if we stop putting such emphasis on one day rather than what it takes to do every day, maybe relationships won’t lead to such negativity in the end?

It’s a thought.

What started as an internal demand to highlight the silliness (following the capitalistic bent and the over-the-top streaming of gushiness of this day), ended as another path to possibly understanding the humans in my world.

I like that.

Love to all, every day, for being what inspires me to be myself. 🙂