I Won’t Tell You “I Told You So”

*deep sorrowful sigh

I’m sorry. So, so sorry. 

I didn’t succeed in saving you from your fate.

You’re broken now. The trust is gone, and so are your reserves. Your faith in love is shattered. It seems utterly unbelievable to have made it to this place of darkness. But you’re here now… and I’m hurting with you, dearest.

Oh pain, please just go away! Leave him alone. The agony is too much for tender shoulders to bear. Ease up… I beg you.

You’ll get through this, people say. It doesn’t feel like that when you’re in the thick of it though. But know this… I’m here till the tears stop rolling, the deep ache subsides and the reality of moving on alone becomes easier to accept. Whatever you need, love… I promise.

I’m here for you. Always.

*Originally published on PhiloSusi 4/17/16

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My Favorite Pair

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Jason and Ian, my precious babies.

Motherhood meant striving to give them the best of me they were deserving of then realizing they were rewarding me with more value than I had to offer.

Years of moments – delicious, frustrating, hurt, joyful, enlightening, spontaneous, fun, sad – quickly turned both into young men. Adults venturing out into the world, and away from me.

As new chapters develop in their lives, I’m looking forward to their stories, their adventures. As they offer the world the best of themselves, may life reciprocate and give back in abundance what they so richly deserve.

 

***the names have been changed to protect the innocent.