Cook, Meditate, F#@k

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Pausing my distressed state, I distracted myself diving deeply into gastronomy.  Immersed and focused on fusing the flavors of carefully selected ingredients, I relished the finished product. Ingesting my creation, finding enjoyment in it, allowing a small measure of an easement to occur in my current state of dysfunction.

1

The problem at hand begged for inner reflection. Waking every morning was a ritual of opening the eyes and viewing out my bedroom window, just staring at the trees and listening to the sounds of nature. Sometimes for hours. Processing, mulling over and remembering every moment of pain. What felt like agony and torture initially gradually allowed a sense of understanding to move into the grey matter.

2

A deep need to release anger and frustration created a passion for a familiar act. I required the physical focus, a hungry attack on the flesh. It was an attempt at duplicating intensity, replacing pain with pleasure. And it was had.

The process helped.

I got through my trauma.

 

**Originally published 1/16/18

Longing

Sad-girl-missing-her-love-emotion-lonely-feeling-photo-image
The MIT Quill

warm memories
of past encounters
fill my mind
creating a rich tapestry
on a cold night

my mind’s eye begins to unlock
the hidden shivers of bygone days emerge
my breasts, like the excitement, budding
mentally opening further
inhaling you deeper into my senses

remembering the path of your hands
the trail of your moist lips
on my body
the powerful emotions
grasping us both

gentle caresses
hungry kisses
powerful desires

the exquisite euphoria
felt for a brilliant moment
lasting a lifetime
amplified in my essence

it’s hard to forget perfection
in a lover’s kiss
and urgent needs

Baby, It’s Cold Out Here

fh

(It’s good with you near) But, baby, it’s cold out here
(In my arms you’re my dear) But, baby, it’s cold out here
(So let’s go inside) Been hoping that you’d say that
(Try to warm up) Let’s snuggle together real nice

 

True story

women will be cold
until consent is given
then men will get warmth
but not before
these are the times now
when boundaries
are to be respected
get with the program

**some social commentary on the recently controversial song “Baby, It’s Cold Out There”

Shattering The Hold

angry-man-1409746880rAI

Intensity laced with lunacy, it’s seductively subliminal.
Past hurt swept away by the look masquerading as deeply in love.
It’s not love.
It’s danger.
And it easily has you.
If you are not careful.
Psychological warfare playing out in the depths of your mind.
Don’t be deceived by the charm of the snakes, the force of the demanding ones
or the egos of those where clever observation never occurs.
They will hurt you.
Maybe not right away, but they will.
The scars of learning are deep and never healing.
See it before it gets a hold of you.
**Originally published PhiloSusi 10/22/16  Re-posted here with minor revisions