depression – I Write Her

Reblogs – Cassa Bassa & Tom Alexander

Published on May 18, 2022May 15, 2022 by Susi Bocks4 Comments

Pain buckles your inner state making recovery incredibly difficult. With every last bit of strength you have, choose to heal instead. Live again.

Dark Mood by Cassa Bassa

My thoughts
get stuck
in a thick tar swamp
knowing
that I am drowning
further below
but not quite
the end

Struggling is useless
Letting go is impossible
Tangled in poison syrup

In pitch dark night sky
all the stars
give up on me
They blink out
So
I settle in
being lost
dying alive
alone

Fracture, Fill by Tom Alexander

Break it like a bone
let it jut from torn skin
it’ll be raw and sore
then snap it back in

Fracture, fill
repair and grow

Through the ache
the growth seems subtle
Once it’s healed
that muscle gets supple

Fracture, fill
repair and grow

You can’t guess the extent
to which you’re capable
without some months spent
feeling utterly breakable

Fracture, fill
repair and grow…

Rising Published on MasticadoresUSA!

Published on March 17, 2022March 16, 2022 by Susi Bocks39 Comments

Life is hard; we all know this. But I always hope that each of us retains a bit of hope and strength to get through the bad times. I’m sure that most of the readers who visit here, know that about me. This piece, which I’m so happy that Gabriela Milton, Editor of MasticadoresUSA, has accepted for publication, speaks about the heaviness of days gone wrong and the determination in spite of it. Enjoy!

Rising

already exhausted upon awakening
the day begins anew

while the brain is slow
the body is even slower

what weighs me down
isn’t easily lifted…

Please read the rest of the piece at MasticadoresUSA

Perhaps

Published on February 19, 2022February 16, 2022 by Susi Bocks23 Comments

painting of brown tree — ***Jr Korpa – Unsplash***

the darkness in this room
matches my own
as i pull the covers tighter
wrapping up in this cocoon, my shield
i sink into black

time stands still
for more than the RDA
the bed, a safe space
insulates me with warmth not felt
for eons

through the haze of awakening
flickers of the past emerge in my dreams
dead friends come to life again
fun family vacation scenes from long ago
friendships once broken, repaired

a kaleidoscope vision of possibility
tugs at the seam of my current dimmed perspective
perhaps loosening the hold of the darkness
perhaps hopelessness will find the path to depart
perhaps dreams will become reality

NOTE: I am not experiencing these feelings at this time. And RDA is short for Recommended Daily Allowance. 🙂

My Black Heart

Published on February 5, 2022February 2, 2022 by Susi Bocks21 Comments

green trees under white sky during daytime — ***Jr Korpa – Unsplash***

shielded by the dark
the frost turns to hard, clear ice
longing for some warmth

Bartholomew Barker inspired this piece from me with his prompt on Living Poetry – Monday Poetry Prompt: Dark, Frost, Long on December 20, 2021 While his image would lead you to think about Winter, my mind went in a different direction. What does it bring up for you?

Cracked

Published on January 17, 2022January 17, 2022 by Susi Bocks13 Comments

Inspired by Sadje’s What do you see #117

A serious reflection

i see our world as splitting up
coming apart at the seams
politics, pollution, people
tragedies galore

i don’t know how much longer
i can keep it together
teetering on the top of the world
looking down with grief

A funny take

I don’t know how much longer I can keep these two peaks together. My calf and thigh muscles are killing me! But I just can’t let the Earth split in two!

Going Down

Published on November 16, 2021November 16, 2021 by Susi Bocks17 Comments

Redux

***Originally posted on I Write Her 3/23/2018***

the light slowly leaving
dolor creeping into this blank space in my head
swallowed up in this ever-deepening gray haze minimizing my liveliness
pitch-blackness, my old friend, immobilizing me again
no energy, desire, motivation or strength
this thick sadness creates a loneliness where hope can’t creep in
courage oozes away
one drop after another of life leaking to somewhere it can’t return from
goals left to die in the waves of this depression
silent tears pitching between wet, heavy sobs
an aching all-encompassing deep pain leaving invisible scars
severe despondency and dejection
i doubt life can go on
it’s a reality in my head not worth living
escape from that which continually pulls me down feels impossible
this devastating extreme of the opposite of happy
it feels like i’m stolen from me
i feel over

Refined

Published on October 29, 2021October 28, 2021 by Susi Bocks25 Comments

person holding silver round container with brown powder — ***Ben McLeod – Unsplash***

life holds me in its grasp
confined to this world
patiently awaiting occurrences
comatose at times
intermittent joy at others
mostly bored or riddled stiff with being
with each jarring
life rasps the essence of me finer
the wholeness diminished
there’s less of me
until there is nothing left
this is the cycle of life

Reblog – Melancholia by Rahul Gaur

Published on June 25, 2021June 25, 2021 by Susi Bocks2 Comments

Such a brilliant capture of the feelings of loss and uncertainty. The accompanying image complements the emotions well.

Melancholia

The act of wanting consumes⁣
my mind so much that ⁣
I never realise what I really wanted⁣ after all
Losing myself at the ends ⁣
of her fading footsteps⁣
and the silence left by her echoes⁣
and the echoes left by her silence⁣
I only end up imitating my wants than ⁣
really know what I wanted at all⁣
The melancholy monster consumes me for not
knowing but that is when I know
this monster is really not a monster
as I ponder…
⁣
…where do I go from here ⁣
if not inwards ⁣
To save me from the beginning ⁣
of the building blocks of my utter doom⁣
Melancholy opens up wounds
that can only be closed by facing the fears
that created them as I realise
All I receive is connected to all I give
amidst the karmic cycle of my intents⁣
The ignorance of the immediate fate⁣
I put too much emphasis on
The laughter of my perpetual bloom ⁣is
connected to the whispers of my eventual tomb