Torn

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I feel the incessant battles of internal opposing forces.
My personal war.

Feelings clashing, emotions raging, peace alluding me.
Rational thoughts tip-toe in intermittently.

It’s a daily challenge, every minute of every day.

Seeking tranquility in the chaos, hoping for a forced equilibrium.
But usually tossed about by my innate human nature.

Developing intentional maturity gains me some stability,
slow and teetering baby steps in the direction of wisdom.

Age and experience lend a hand, slowing down the urge to take up arms.
Fed up or just tired and weary?

The beginning of acceptance or true insight?
Not really sure.

The continual striving for harmony during this brief stint.
A life well-lived; I hope.

With death comes peace, ending a lifetime of struggle.
Balancing the scales.

I will not know it though.
Sure doesn’t seem fair.

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I Became

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That gaze lightened my heaviness.
Those eyes told me I was safe.

Tender forcefulness reached in
and unearthed me from
the hardened layers of
self-imposed eradication.

You found out who I was
and loved me anyway.

Years of destruction erased.
You easily removed all the layers of my shame.
I felt unafraid in your embrace.

My hard callouses protected me,
you smoothed them out with your touch.
My bleeding open wounds
stitched up by your love.

I was healing.
I recovered.
I became sane.

Embracing

Life is an ever-changing plan of existence.

Let’s sing a song of acceptance, being perfect already.

The layers of uniqueness, whatever the condition,

Accept them, revel in them, love them, and Just Be you.

It’s not perfect, but it’s mine.

                                                                                          Tim Minchin

Nestled

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Lucid Being

 

There you are, hidden in the magic.

The mystery of personhood waiting to evolve.

Wishing to be found, but stuck deep within.

Fear shutters the essence of being so much of the time.

It takes courage to push off the debilitating, oppressive hand of inadequacy.

Defeat gives us rage to rise up and out.

Or not.

Show our true selves or remain comfortably nestled within?