coloring outside the lines
from early on
disciplined often
she didn’t play well with others
rebellious and obnoxious
loud and proud
seeking attention
needing to be heard
she found the majority
were not her clan
so proud to be dissentient
always doing things her way
mostly on the outside
peering in
headstrong and defiant
a breed born of dysfunction
but she was strong and capable
a mover and shaker
mystifying the competition
finding her peace anyway
the tears spill
as my anger
rages out
a hidden despair
long held in
breaks through
a suffering
uttered in release
a necessity
the burden
of disguise
extinguished
if only human babies
came into this world
feeling unconditional
self-acceptance
or that they had a deep
understanding of themselves
seeing only a healthy, positive self-image
possessing a tremendous amount of self-respect
right from the beginning
it would be helpful
for them to know how
to enjoy their own company
able to forgive themselves as necessary
when to say no
and mean it
respecting their boundaries
to be proud of themselves
and their achievements
that it was ok to accept applause
and to pursue their dreams
to understand that challenges
are a part of growth
that they possessed the strength of character
to know what was best
if only they knew all these things at birth…
less damage would be done as they aged
as they felt the cruelty and destructiveness
of the older generations
or the indiscriminate hazards of life
if only their first love would be themselves…
if only we would teach them they are worthy of that love…
Inspired by FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION Challenge 5/31/19 – Art
art conveys
what the mouth cannot
visual feelings
are words come to life
the beauty in the image
convey a connection
every chance to look again
is a moment to go back to a memory
This piece was painted by my friend Xaviel. I adore his art! Enjoy all his work!
These words found at Fractal Enlightenment were a powerful reminder to me that I don’t always feel this way. Believing those words can be difficult when life drags me to dark places sometimes. Especially that last bit – deserving to be loved. It still pisses me off that situations in my past contribute to that feeling. Shitty parenting being the crux of it. My parents didn’t know how to do it right. They’re gone, and I’m still here. The aftermath of that was up to me to heal.
For the most part, I’m ok. Actually, better than just ok. My life is good and most of my moments are too. I’ve made sure to surround myself with people who ground me. Now, I just need to feel the words of this meme more days than not.
I guess working this out is a part of life’s journey.
you may not like my style
that’s your right
who I am
serves me well enough
your critique
does not
decide my fate
life goes on without you
deaf ears
small minds
little hearts
not my tribe
how I feel
what I say
when I project
it’s all reserved for those who care
I am
but a single layer
in the foundation
of humanity.
Every good deed
and
humane act
strengthens it.
The hope,
my life
contributes wisdom
to the next generation.
We’ve all questioned ourselves.
We crave it.
It’s different than having a purpose.
We need to have value in the world we inhabit.
And we want to fit in.
But do we? Are we really important enough?
How do we become important
and closely connected to our community, to ourselves?
Does it mean we’re good or just special?
Is it the amount of praise we get which tells us that?
Be well in your center, and
in the movements taken within your world.
The care of yourself you take to belong,
the decisions you make affecting you,
choose wisely –
this gives you relevance.
In the valued becoming closely connected,
what matters most is
how we love ourselves and others.
The lessons landed later in life
I found all that was required
was to return to me
I don’t let anyone lead me
won’t follow, won’t kowtow
I realized my independence
discovered my uniqueness
understood my sovereignty
finally knew my place
and found peace in the recognition of me
daily momentum
towards authenticity
a foundation of the mastered
moving towards the unlearned
layer upon layer of becoming
vigorous attempts towards wholeness
attainment of enlightenment
my time has come
