A Toast

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To all who choose the path of matrimony –

I know you want your dreams to come true, have your happiness magnified and gain comfort as a result. Let me be the first to say – hope you’ll be the first to achieve it.

So let me wish you a marriage as tumultuous as a 3 am trot to the bathroom – predictable and uneventful. And may you have a sex life as exciting as being the survivor of slasher movies – adrenaline surging and you come out on top.

Good luck, good love and let’s hope karma is bullshit.

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Three Little Words

Don’t say

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but rather…

soothe an ache
hold my hand
watch me sleep
rub my back
make me laugh
be with me
talk to me
play with me
dry my tears
keep me warm
listen to me
don’t be arrogant
kiss my lips
really know me
get me soup
touch without expectation
ease my sorrow
hug my soul
cry with me
dance with me
please be vulnerable
make eye contact
forgive my failings
care for yourself
sex me right
cook us dinner
walk with me
don’t lie, ever
read to me
hold me close
silence my demons
reach into me
never leave me

Steadfast

 

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There’s comfort as I bathe in your loyalty.
I can count on your faithfulness to the script we are writing.
This love story of commitment and devotion is like none other.
I adore your dedication to our cause.
I can depend on you, my reliable partner.
You’ve been steady, for the most part.
True to me, for the most part.
A constant when the world wasn’t.
My staunch champion, solidly there for me.
I think you can be trusted.

In Recovery

Forever Alone

It took my last bit of strength to pick up
every last bit of shredded me off the floor.

Left with bloody fragments of a torn heart,
a distorted mind and a shaken psyche.

My existence, Picasso’s The Weeping Woman feel to it.

Feeling awkwardly out of place and lost in my space.

I had to recalibrate; I needed to rebuild.

Now I’m new and different, possibly improved.

A little wiser for the wear; a lot harder around the edges.

More protective of me, not so naive anymore.

Self-preservation took me to new heights.

I’m back and ready.

Don’t ever hurt me again.

25 Years

Cynthia and Tom looked intently into each other’s eyes; a bit weathered from the years. They were celebrating their special love day with all their friends and family.

All sat transfixed as Tom professed his admiration for Cynthia. He was boasting of unending mutual love and respect, suggesting not one uncompromising moment in those years.

What an Ooh, Aah storybook marriage all those in attendance felt!

The loved ones thunderously applauded. Tom sat down with a happy grin.

Cynthia stood up, raised the gun and smiled as the bullet tore into his braincase.

Wow, what had he gotten so wrong?

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US

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You got close to me in a way I’d never felt before.
Your sensual touch took my breath away.
Your fingers left a trail of goosebumps down every bit of my body.
You bathed me in love and surrounded me with comfort.
Your kisses left me weak and all in.

We played well for years.
We fought the world and won.
We ensured the next generation felt loved.
We made a home.
We had joy.

They looked in and saw happiness.
They were envious.
They felt we got love right.
They tried to catch our affection.
They wished they were us.

Then…

I was missing the love.
I felt bereft.
I ached for you.
I waited for you.
I wanted you still.

She insinuated herself into our love.
She was bright, shiny and new.
She was trouble.
She got in our way.
She destroyed us.

He saw my worth.
He proclaimed his desire.
He soothed my pain.
He eased my tears.
He was my friend.

It forced honesty.
It helped me find understanding.
It propelled me into a new reality.
It changed me.
It saved me.

Me, I got a lot of work to do.
Me, figuring things out.
Me, facing all my demons.
Me, fighting for myself.
Me, getting it all right.

Us, starting again.
Us, hurting all over to fix our love.
Us, going forward and taking two steps back.
Us, loving each other anyway.
Us, doing it together.

I Became

2

That gaze lightened my heaviness.
Those eyes told me I was safe.

Tender forcefulness reached in
and unearthed me from
the hardened layers of
self-imposed eradication.

You found out who I was
and loved me anyway.

Years of destruction erased.
You easily removed all the layers of my shame.
I felt unafraid in your embrace.

My hard callouses protected me,
you smoothed them out with your touch.
My bleeding open wounds
stitched up by your love.

I was healing.
I recovered.
I became sane.