Opposing

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Cody Davis

coloring outside the lines
from early on
disciplined often
she didn’t play well with others

rebellious and obnoxious
loud and proud
seeking attention
needing to be heard

she found the majority
were not her clan
so proud to be dissentient
always doing things her way

mostly on the outside
peering in
headstrong and defiant
a breed born of dysfunction

but she was strong and capable
a mover and shaker
mystifying the competition
finding her peace anyway

She

These words found at Fractal Enlightenment were a powerful reminder to me that I don’t always feel this way. Believing those words can be difficult when life drags me to dark places sometimes. Especially that last bit – deserving to be loved. It still pisses me off that situations in my past contribute to that feeling. Shitty parenting being the crux of it. My parents didn’t know how to do it right. They’re gone, and I’m still here. The aftermath of that was up to me to heal.

For the most part, I’m ok. Actually, better than just ok. My life is good and most of my moments are too. I’ve made sure to surround myself with people who ground me. Now, I just need to feel the words of this meme more days than not.

I guess working this out is a part of life’s journey.

I’m Meant For Others

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Monica Silva

you may not like my style
that’s your right
who I am
serves me well enough

your critique
does not
decide my fate
life goes on without you

deaf ears
small minds
little hearts
not my tribe

how I feel
what I say
when I project
it’s all reserved for those who care

 

Your Toy

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This is your game.
You created the rules.
I just follow them.

I gave up my drive,
and my autonomy
to allow you to direct me.

Decision made for a life given up.
It’s insane.
Who chooses that? I did.

Why?

Scared to be alone,
frightened to live,
hard to find my way.

I let you.
You owned me.
You don’t care.

Fuck me

My Precious

tower
Inspired by What Do You See – 5/14/19

 

All the steps I take
for your comfort
I do without complaint.

You deserve my love
and attention,
you shall not have to wait.

May my efforts sustain you
and this commitment
be your protection.

I’ll keep you from harm,
ensuring your growth.
And I’ll rise to meet you.

Autonomy

 

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The lessons landed later in life
I found all that was required
was to return to me
I don’t let anyone lead me
won’t follow, won’t kowtow

I realized my independence
discovered my uniqueness
understood my sovereignty
finally knew my place
and found peace in the recognition of me

Lessons Learned

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It all hurts…

other’s cruel intentions
life’s accidental interventions
immature decisions
wounding by self-infliction
external forces not caring about consequences

But it gave me…

an understanding of people and boundaries
resilience in the face of catastrophe and tragedy
consequences and wisdom
pain to overcome
the determination to fight injustice

Life is hard but living is knowing how to keep the goodness thriving in it.

Feeling Safe

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pxhere.com

I long for the restful places
where the pain
is expelled or soothed
every thought on paper
brings a downturn of
painful emotions
an uplifting
into understanding
and peace
from hurtful emotions
a broadening
of my horizon
when I let go of
expectations
easing into serenity
and calm
finding
my happy place