The graduate strode confidently across the podium, careful to concentrate on her walk, not one misstep in those high heels. She reeked of true elegance, no denying it: a class act, that one.
I began to inflate the cushion. One last breath out, and it was ready to go. The Pranksters Extraordinaire Club would soon sing my praises. I had as good as won the bet to fly around the world. My eye had been on this prize trip for a long time.
Princess smiled at me and sat down. The phony fart blasted loudly. I smiled; she died. Delicious!
Standing in the center of the shop, I realized that I’d be bankrupt by tomorrow. There was no way to charm myself out of this situation. Everything near and dear to me would be gone. I would need to see the lawyer downtown today. I kept thinking, “What the hell happened to me and my dream?” My eyes began to fill with tears. There was no other option but to file Chapter 11. Touching the lace on my smock, I let out a sigh as I looked around my salon.
I fiddled with my guns while listening to the songs of the workers. The sun made my head throb. I shouldn’t have broken the seal on that 20-year-old cognac last night. Dipping my bandana in the spring water, I could still hear music thumping, or was that my headache? No, it wasn’t either. I cupped my ear to listen better. Then I looked up and realized it was a mob of angry people from the fields charging with their children in tow. Blinking profusely, was this a dream? It was real! They were wide-eyed and mean and coming for me!
“It’s just a regular cold virus. Stop acting as if you have had a stroke!” Sandy said sternly to her roommate, the man-child. She rose to leave for work.
“Now remember to lock the door behind me. I will let your Boo know to call you later, ok? Gotta fly now.”
He’ll be the death of me trying to spread his germs! Sandy muttered to herself as she left for work. So glad I’m single, she thought,donning her mask. It’s good we didn’t sell them all, she thought to herself.
Although the fire was tiny in my dream, the real one was huge. I became a family of one overnight. I mourn the rest, which perished on that fateful evening. I lift my weary eyes, feeling torn –stay here being miserable or join those who burned. I rock in the corner, lurking like a shy intruder, still in shock. The tumbler in the door lock clicks, a nurse enters the room.
“Honey, these stories in your head aren’t the truth!” she says as she empties the syringe into my arm. The light slowly dims as the room fades away.
The roots wrapped around me with tremendous speed; “Yes,” I screamed, “I’m next!” My left and right arms pressed tightly against the tree, its wooden fingers clamping down tight like a valve forcefully shut off. I imagined dying would be a treat compared to the life I’d led. “Fade to black” came to mind as my watch ticked down the time—small spikes wrapped around my arms like a wheel as they dug into me for nourishment. “What a beautiful green seam,” I thought as I lay there, continuing to bleed out as the leaves grew over me like a cover.
“Ping my phone, you damn flake!What’s the new plot twist?” Sarah yelled. “Le sigh, why do I always end up working with weirdos?” she wondered. Sarah grabbed the steering wheel hard and continued to mutter to herself as she pulled into the parking lot to meet with her boss. The press was already there. “I’ll need to tread lightly with them. Otherwise, the boss and I will have a fall-out.” Quickly she decided to turn around, making a break for it to avoid that possibility. “First, I’ll figure out how to phrase my response to avoid that from happening.”
“Blessings to you,” said the nun. I’d had enough; I decided to leave. Hearing the choir attempting to sing, me dealing with panic, and curled up in a ball on the floor of the church, well, it was time. There was a loud rip as I attempted to lift myself onto the pew. The nuns smiled awkwardly at the breathtaking view of my exposed lace bustier. Only one didn’t react. She seemed sick with a virus or was maybe just old and frail.
Being as smooth as possible on my way out,I tossed a twenty into the offering box.
Yesterday, just like today, the heat was oppressive. The sweat was seeping down my face like little tendrils of water. I made an effort to savor this popsicle, for now, knowing the chance to be able to ask for another would be a while. Eyeing the chain-link fence surrounding the jail, I was careful to conceal my slywee smirk. This time tomorrow, I’ll be gone, I thought to myself.
“Hey, courageous storyteller, what’s this I hear you think you’re going to break out soon?” said the guard on duty with a broad grin on his face.