Pushed over the edge.
Waves of emotions coursing.
Tears flow unlocking the deep hurts.
Loud yells projected to match the pain.
Feelings challenged. Resolutions sought. This torture ends now.
Distancing from the anger, the fear and the abysmal. Letting it go.
Choosing peace, choosing harmony, choosing growth.
Deep relaxation and openness stage a presence.
Self-soothed in this self-connection.
Manifesting healing.
It’s the place underneath the obvious.
I wanna go deep.
Time to overcome this unease.
I wanna be still.
To excise the superficial, project the truth.
I wanna be real.
To let the music carry me on its wings.
I wanna feel free.
Reveal the tenderness and compassion buried in my pain.
I wanna be me…
I wanna to be happy.
Life
Such a
delicate
process diving
inward to discover what lies dormant.
I feel the incessant battles of internal opposing forces.
My personal war.
Feelings clashing, emotions raging, peace alluding me.
Rational thoughts tip-toe in intermittently.
It’s a daily challenge,
every minute of every day.
Seeking tranquility in the chaos, hoping for a forced equilibrium.
But usually tossed about by my innate human nature.
Developing intentional maturity gains me some stability,
slow and teetering baby steps in the direction of wisdom.
Age and experience lend a hand, slowing down the urge to take up arms.
Fed up or just tired and weary?
The beginning of acceptance or true insight?
Not really sure.
The continual striving for harmony during this brief stint.
A life well-lived; I hope.
With death comes peace, ending a lifetime of struggle.
Balancing the scales.
I will not know it though.
Sure doesn’t seem fair.
Confessions of a young woman
Sometimes I look at myself through the eyes of a stranger. Who I see is not the person I am. Merely a representation of all that other people want me to be. I try to make the world around me believe a different reality, the self-deception is excruciating sometimes, and exhausting. The real me is revolting just under the surface, but to the world around me, all is calm. What keeps this façade in place is the fact that no one cares about me. I know that for a fact. Sometimes I don’t even want to know who I am. It’s bad enough having to live with myself every day. Experiencing the joy of discovery and understanding real joy is a momentary feeling. There are hiccups of excitement coming from my stomach up into my throat when I allow myself to have that sensation of everything’s all right, and I’m all good with me. Sadly, it fades quickly. Who is allowed to entitle themselves to a speck of happiness? Nah, that’s just something you’re not allowed to experience, I say to myself.
Will it always be like this?
The injurious are on the prowl.
Instinctively my guard goes up.
Hurling words to pierce the psyche.
Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.
Another and another and another.
The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball.
Humiliation the game, the victor no one.
I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.
Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this!
Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.
I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.
I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.
Respect doesn’t come easily to youth’s life experience in progress. We put them in their place…
Shut up, youngin’.
What do they know, right?
Shaming leads to silence. It leads to rage. Don’t do that.
A well thought out opinion deserves an audience, even if only one is there to receive it.
Contributions of spoken information are the right of any individual, young or old.
Let’s hear it all.
Encouraging communication honors the conviction of the orator. Let them learn, respect their effort. Challenge the thought process, if it requires it, but let them speak.
Embrace their courage, honor their thoughts. Let them talk.
Their experience, their journeys will shape future discussions, better lives possibly.
All humans feel valuable to others and especially themselves when they are accepted.
Respect their language and their self-expression.
Let them become adults who are heard.
