Pieces Of Time

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appreciate your moments
as they come and go

big, small
long, short
dreadful, wonderful
exciting, fearful
sad, happy
joyful, excruciating
embarrassing, bold
empowering, wrecked
lonely, connected
engaged, boring
lazy, determined

awake, asleep
agitated, peaceful
sane, reckless

cherish them all
when one day, they’ll just go

Leaving The Wild Behind

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Our DNA tells us we come from a past of leaning into our impulses. Where combats and aggression were a part of the natural order. It is an instinct to survive. We were animals; we still are. It’s how humans are classified – Kingdom – Animalia, Genus – Homo, Species – H. sapiens.

But we aren’t animalistic anymore. Or are we? How often have we run into people who treat others with a “You get what you get, deal with it?” , “Fight or die” or “Fuck you, I got mine?” operating mentality? Having evolved is the reason we seem to have a conscience and a brain. Doesn’t that mean we should treat each other better? I want to believe that the majority on this planet don’t give into their base animal instincts and behave reasonably acceptable in our society. But then I watch the news or review social media. It’s not pretty. And then I think about my behavior. How do I react to people and certain circumstances? I’d like to think I’m not stuck in that gear of just instinct. But if I’m honest, I have to say I do sometimes respond with some of that piss and vinegar.

When I reflect on who I want to be, my wish is to emulate and radiate loving, nurturing behavior all the time. But being the descendant of a long line of beings running on basic instinct means that I realize that it takes effort and a desire to feel opposite of my nature. Sometimes the motivation isn’t there. Especially not in the face of belligerence. My capacity for understanding tells me my initial reaction might be to behave like an animal but also that I can make a conscious decision to not give in to that instinct. It does, however, require a commitment on my part every time my instinctual reaction rears its ugly head. We may be animals, still, but being in possession of a brain which has progressed and is armed with a conscience, it should not predispose me to act animalistic. We are capable of rising above our natural tendencies. And we understand that. But we have to want to be more than what our past dictates.

You can only change what you know, right?

Necessary Tears

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another heartache
the drama du jour
feels like the crisis of a lifetime
pounded down by hardship again
residing in a personal hell

oh, what a fresh hot mess

it’s a life-long process
a roller coaster of emotions
learning to traverse the pain
facing the trepidation
yet again, overcoming the angst

the release must come

a torrential outpour
of pooled fear
a flood of wet anxiety
thin, clear lines of human sap
so many streams of liquid frustration

until it finishes

after the purge feeling
lost and light-headed
slightly dazed
still riding the after-shocks
mostly exhausted

hope blossoms again

it’s the duty of tears
they lay the groundwork
for repair
to an injured psyche
needing to become rational again

 

Obvious Deception

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i’m not the enemy

wrong
you were never a friend

friends will…
listen
offer a shoulder to cry on
give tissues as needed
nurture
be excited to be with you
tell the truth
protect
support
engage
comfort
laugh with you
act like your #1 fan
shield you from oncoming shit
be ready and waiting

me having to stand up for myself
and up to you
proved once and for all
you were never willing
to give what should have
come so naturally

 

All Encompassing

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HK Photo Company – Unsplash

I recently read that the definition of love is liking, respecting and appreciating the authentic being of another. Aiding that person with cooperation during their life journey is another practice of loving someone. That sure sounds nice. But something that, on the surface, seems a little lacking when you think of how someone traditionally describes love. But let’s go with that for now.

Real friendships not only mean there are intense and deep feelings of like, respect and appreciation for each other but having real friends also means you enjoy that additional “I’ve got your back no matter what” mentality with them. Add to that, there is a level of honesty within that connection that occurs which you won’t find in connections more appropriately deemed acquaintances. Life would be harder for us if we didn’t have at least one of these kinds of friendship.

Intentional sexual connections can happen in isolated incidents, with fuck buddies or full-on committed relationships. Having these types of encounters are not only beneficial to us, but they are also enjoyable as well. Keep in mind, having any sexual encounter requires us to dictate what brings us pleasure in order for them to be satisfactory.

I’ve watched people talk about soulmates and “loving like I’ve never loved before” only to see it fizzle out fairly quickly. So were they either not in love, not friends or was it not understood that sex is fleeting and that in long term relationships without a committed effort, sex could become boring not understood to begin with? Of course, each relationship which comes to an end has many varied reasons for the demise but shouldn’t ones that we expect to be everlasting to have the qualities of love, real friendship, and sex?

And if we don’t have all these components as I mentioned above, why are we surprised that the relationships lacking one or more of them are possibly not as fulfilling as we’d like them to be?

I welcome your thoughts!