Pain and its retreat is something we all look for, don’t we?
Choke it down
To recieve one more
Sit in the room
Stare at the door
Hate myself
Love you less
Can’t stand the pressure
Yet live for the stress
Doors close
Lights fade
Pray for our demise
Until then keep up the charade
drunks tell no lies
they say
but when they’re sober
they tell no truths
liquid courage
they say
but it’s more like
real communication’s anesthesia
honesty
needs to be shared
person to person
with heads clear
otherwise, the path down liquid lane makes
hard times
get harder
direction is lost
focus gone
and the urge
to share
what needs to be said
just adds up to a larger tab
I
can see
the better
life shining clear,
can almost taste it.
But it’s just out of reach.
Down again, gave in again
to the temptations of my sins.
Every so often I regret it.
Shame, guilt, anger, sickness, hunger for death.
Self-medication, self-flagellation;
It’s all I seem to know anymore.
The bruises of the bottle stain
my life a shade of dingy
and gray in this bright world.
Can I escape it?
I would like to
just get out
of this
hell.
Drink up, have fun, enjoy! Woohoo!
But where’s the life when the party is killing you?
The music’s loud, the friends are funnier, and the strangers even friendlier.
A false sense of bliss down the path of minds blown and bodies wasted.
Life is grand!
Til the next day.
Bold plans spawned, confidence bolstered, unstoppable!
Reality check – the greatness is slowly wasting away inside.
