Motherhood meant striving to give them the best of me they were deserving of then realizing they were rewarding me with more value than I had to offer.
Years of moments – delicious, frustrating, hurt, joyful, enlightening, spontaneous, fun, sad – quickly turned both into young men. Adults venturing out into the world, and away from me.
As new chapters develop in their lives, I’m looking forward to their stories, their adventures. As they offer the world the best of themselves, may life reciprocate and give back in abundance what they so richly deserve.
***the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
It’s odd to feel alive again after someone’s death. But, actually, it’s kinda refreshing.
I’ve had my share of dysfunctional people in my life. The most troublesome ones from my past are dead now. Other relationships that have died over the years are also thankfully in my rearview mirror. But not before enduring a brief stint of anger and sorrow, of course.
It sounds morbid but here’s to making clean breaks and fresh starts with a death!
Seriously, the result of those losses turned into a renewal of me. The chaos was over, for sure. Peace! No more “What’s going to happen next?” along with no more drama, of any kind. There wasn’t anything more to fight over, feel guilt or shame about. No more tears of frustration or anger. It was over. I was facing my future my way from that point on. I got to say a final goodbye to the shit storm those relationships held over me.
I could breathe again, and more importantly, Icould live.