Reblog – Blooding by Candice Louisa Daquin

I am in awe of her ability to once again draw me so deeply into her poetry, leaving me feeling like I’ve relived my past. Candice can write about experiences that resonate like my own, a history that is sometimes hard to put into words, but here, the emotions wrapped in metaphor strike a chord. Thank you, Candice! ❤

TheFeatheredSleep

I made myself a promise I can’t keep

to stay steady, even in times of grief

not obey my gut and flee, bare-foot

into thick forest where birds

never rebuke

not to climb from shaking boat

wet wood and mold, scarred paint and

many gentle hands

cupping despair in her once tree lined womb

ever tempted to fling off effort

abandon the temple of people and their

admonishments

those truthful kindnesses flung back in reproach

by those who have no use of you

standing like husks by the road

waiting to snag your heart to shreds.

The woman across the road lifts her shirt

stuck slightly with glue from hospital monitors

a strange gel they affix electrodes to

when they’re getting ready to cut

she fills her chest with the congestion of the late hour

burning in filament

like fire birds finding song in dark

her dream is to be…

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Music And Balance

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I know that I have a need to let music embody me for enjoyment. It’s also a distraction for loneliness or wanting to feel nostalgic about a memory. And sometimes just headbanging intensely with a good AC/DC tune is good for the soul. There are quite a few artists that I like and for so many different reasons. My tastes run a wide berth, and across all time and genres.

Reflecting on my teenage years, I realize I used music quite heavily to navigate some of the emotional chaos in my life at that time. Shaking off the demons accompanied by music was quite cathartic for me then.  In my youth, whenever I required a release of pent up emotions, I’d turn on the record player. My go-to album was Genesis – A Trick of the Tail. I’d start by playing the song Ripples and let all the deep, sobbing emotions rise to the top as I simultaneously cried and sang out all the angst. A sort of purge, if you will. Next came A Trick of the Tail to set my mind on a path of a take-charge, purposeful freedom. Lastly, Los Endos to take all the heartfelt emotions which erupted with the first song, allowing them to build again into a fever pitch of strength and control. Feeling them explode with the crescendo of the song, emerging spent and empty, that was the goal and what saved me from going deeper inside. This was my process when living became all too much. It allowed me to escape from my own destruction. And kept me from being committed.

It’s interesting that I find peace and quiet are what I relish most being a grownup. But maybe tapping into such a focused release might do me some good in my older years too.

Shielding

Sticks-and-Stones-Soren-Palmer
Clarion Content Media

The injurious are on the prowl.

Instinctively my guard goes up.

Hurling words to pierce the psyche.

Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.

Another and another and another.

The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball. 

Humiliation the game, the victor no one.

I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.

Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this!

Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.

I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.

I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.

No More Doing Nothing

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I hear you.

All your loud voices broadcast anger, frustration, desperation.
Rightly so.

I see the care, empathy, and concern.
Rightly so.

I’m feeling the impavid feistiness of your direction.

You ARE SO RIGHT!

I can see your determination manifest change.

Make that blockade of white suits bow before you.

Shut down that noise in your face telling you no.

Strike down the smug betrayers of your future.

Ride with the forcible waves of support behind you.

And make the future we failed to give you
a better place than where you’ve risen up from.

You deserve to reside there.

I love you.