Officially

Untitled
pxhere.com

This year has been exceptionally odd so far.

Frankly, between the impeachment and now this COVID-19 pandemic, I’m feeling a bit unsure of how life will go on from here. Add to that, it’s an election year. 2020 will go down as one of the most controversial of my lifetime. The creation of all these current restrictions for safety and the need for isolation has literally changed our world as well. Let’s just say, it has made me reevaluate some things. Maybe for you too?

This pandemic is something unlike anything we have ever encountered before and probably will not have to face to this extent ever again, if we are lucky. I’m sure we’re all feeling a little unsteady as friends, family, communities, work-life and pretty much every facet of life is experiencing this gigantic and unexpected plot twist.

Current events got me thinking about a lot of things especially about the people I’m connected with for whatever reason. Some I know mostly offline, others online and offline, and some it’s only online and we’ve literally never met. I’m thankful for social media connections but these platforms don’t necessarily keep us in touch all the time. It is nice though when we do “talk” from time to time, so thank you for that. If this year teaches us anything, maybe fortifying connections will be one thing we’ll do right?

Let me get to the point of this post and why I decided to send it out on this platform. I’ve been genuinely wondering how everyone is feeling this year. With my own feelings being off-kilter at times, I thought I surely can’t be the only one. Since social media doesn’t always give us an accurate picture of people’s lives, my thought was “let’s talk about what’s going on.” I really think it’s ok to feel whatever we are feeling right now but keeping connected through it is also key.

So how is everything impacting you? Need to rant or cry? Have you found unexpected positives during these times? Do you have a close social network that you can reach out to if things are not going so well for you? Have you been able to keep the stress level down enough to not feel overwhelmed? Have you started something new? Is there anything you need to feel better? Feel free to comment here or if you’d rather have a private conversation, email me at sushibocks@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you but if not (and that’s ok too, whatever you feel comfortable with), I just wanted to let you know that I care.

Reblog – Sharing

Originally published 8/28/18, I offer this piece for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #119. Enjoy!

I Write Her

Untitled

Feeling and analyzing as the inchoate rises in my mind.
I’m leaning into what arrives.

Layering thoughts to complete some insight.
I’m crafting wisdom.

Nothing is random in expression.
I’m sharing what’s important.

Who does it touch?
I’m hoping it’s you.

View original post

Traversing The Minefield

Untitled
pxhere.com

tumbling thoughts ricochet
in the gray matter
plinking to the next
in the series
of many bubbling up
one after the other
filling up the braincase
a headache soon to follow
exhaustion too
but there is no stopping
resolution required
the emergency du jour
needs attention
life doesn’t stop
because we’re weary
but it ends
when we give up
and give in
braving existence
requires strength
the reserve we lose
with each assault
and gain back ten-fold
with each victory
a deposit
for the next onslaught of life
slapping into us
being in it
means caution
steps boldly planted
hoping for outcomes
giving space to skip freely
in this one life

Unoriginal

1

My thoughts are unique or are they?

Am I an original or just a borrower from the inspirers of my past?

I fear the quality words will all have been spoken.

I wonder when it’ll all have been said.

Will my voice be muted before I die?

Before I leave my mark…

Manicured Lawns

Untitled

Every day I challenge myself to walk two miles. It’s not my favorite part of the day, but moving is a requirement. Otherwise, I feel more like I’m one with the couch rather than this world. Usually, I do it in the gym. When the weather is refreshing, and weight training isn’t also on my plate, I walk in my neighborhood. What I do enjoy about being out and about close to home is seeing all the colors of nature and feeling either the heat light me up or the wind cool me down. I’ve always enjoyed that connection to all that surrounds me.

On my walks, in between all the thoughtful conversations I’m having or written pieces I’m trying to work out in my head, I notice a whole lot of people’s attempts at manipulating their front lawns. Most of them neatly done. I see every square inch of the green strands perfectly in order, complete with lawn ornamentation that on many, compliment either the house or the owner’s personality very nicely. The lawns go from deep luscious green to weather-whipped tan and everything in between. The human-made variations of lawns are as plentiful as nature’s vibrant and colorful display of foliage. But, some go to the extreme of saying a big Fuck You – I own you! to life with their manufactured look, rather than an inviting natural feel to their display.

I’m a big fan of orderliness in my regular day to day life so one would assume that I would be equally thrilled with those lawns that smack of having a paid lawn maintainer or an enthusiastic gardener as its caretaker, but I’m not. Even though the crisp look of those well-maintained lawns do add charm and a sense of ‘all is well in the world’ rightness to the neighborhood, there is something distinctly off about it too.

I believe that some Űber-manicured looking lawns are trying to present the perfect picture, but just like the clothes people wear meant to hide personal inadequacies or as the large houses chosen to impress are covering up massive debt and insecurities; these lawns are also hiding something. The facade of beautifully well-kept greenery could be concealing an ugliness on the interior of the homes that sit on those grassy pictures of perfection. I don’t know that for a fact, but it is indeed something I contemplate. Humans do try to hide their true natures sometimes. Our society, so often, demands obedience to facades otherwise judgments will be harsh. It hasn’t yet successfully come to terms with accepting people as much as they could and, in my opinion, should.

The cliche ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression’ comes to mind when I think about the pristine lawn. The people go to any lengths to impress other people with their skills at lawn maintenance. It’s a facade implying they are equally as good as their lawns. 5-star quality people is the message. At least, the maintainers of those lawns hope it will lead other people to believe that. They understand what society dictates and they are playing that game of what’s truly important. The appeal may be to present this polished outward appearance to indicate a level of achievement that won’t warrant negative judgment. The fact is, their character, as individuals, should be the barometer of what qualifies for being upstanding, not their damn lawn. I will say that there are probably a few lawn aficionados who are perfectly well-rounded, well-adjusted human beings and their top priority is only to be creative masters in their lawn universes. I’m not speaking about those people.

My thoughts aren’t always accurate but with a lot of the different things this old lady has learned in her life, I’m betting I’m not entirely incorrect in my thought process today. Appearances and fear of judgment are huge in today’s world and something I don’t see changing any time soon.

Or maybe the only reason this even comes across my mind is that I don’t have a manicured lawn. This piece would help to explain it to the neighbors who don’t get why it’s not essential to me.

I hope they are reading it.

My neighbors would finally understand who they are dealing with; a person who frequently doesn’t adhere to the dictates of this society.

 

**Originally published on Susi’s Soap Box 7/25/2011 Re-posted here with revisions