eyes, the past
and the present
collide in the thoughtful space within me.
eyes, the past
and the present
collide in the thoughtful space within me.
beneath the rainforest shower head
deeply profound thoughts
bubble to the forefront of my mind
washes them away
carried on soap suds
per chance remembered
more likely forgot
that’s how thoughts go
released without more attention
they become a distant memory
just a dull feeling of knowing remains
we all ponder what is truth
not one with the same outlook
theories and hypothesis’
as varied as the lives which surround us
haven’t we all witnessed people…
who have such a zest that life never seems to end
and have written a multitude of stories over the norm
possessing a zeal which feels absent in us
accomplishments being even fewer
and those at the end of a relatively long life saying “it’s enough”
with need or a want to move on
having endured so much hardship and pain
just wanting it over with
or those who just plod along
living relatively simple
but meaningful, loving lives
contributing a harmony of sorts
if god is life and life is nature and nature dictates our decisions
then maybe it’s the sheer will to remain alive
that what drives us should guide us
deciding our ultimate purpose or names this so-called god we want to prove
this belief of having a much needed pull
for when the chips are down
something we engage with
when it’s all too much
i would submit that sheer will is supreme
this internal force is a pressure to endure
and can be what rules us
wow, what a concept to get behind
they say you can manifest what you want
yeah, but not without effort
i would submit you are your own god
and that god is will
These thoughts were inspired by this conversation about belief systems between Ricky Gervais and Russell Brand. The bit about it starts at approximately 33:40, but feel free to listen to it in its entirety as it was an interesting conversation.
Many things have gotten me through these last 58 years in no particular order of preference or admiration. A lot has tried to take me down too, but here I am anyways. 😉
In 2020, I’m grateful for my good friends even though the hugs, the conversations, and the interactions are few and far apart. Thankfully, my husband is my rock and a strong support person, as well as my boys, who I’m in contact with just about every day. I’m genuinely missing their hugs, though. But we’ll get there!
Working from home was the norm for me before Covid-19, so that hasn’t changed. I will always be immensely grateful I get to do my gig in the comfort of my surroundings. My “prison,” which some people might call it, is my she-cave, and it’s safe. It works for me!
My family and close friends have, until this point, been spared in this pandemic, and that calms me. I’m hoping that a vaccine will soon reduce the cases and the death rates we are currently seeing. I would be most grateful for that!
Even with all the health issues I’ve dealt with and am dealing with so far this year, I’m glad that I have a strong will and determination to overcome these challenges. Although my outlook has not always been positive, it has remained solidly in the corner of “you can get through this.” So, that’s something I’m eternally grateful to possess.
When I look back over the last three years, the WordPress community also gives me much to be thankful about. The friends I’ve made, the incredible work of others I get to read, the conversations – good and bad – I’ve had, all of it has made me a better person. I thank you all for that. Being able to create, to articulate my world and my thoughts, and do it in such a loving and supportive environment, well, I’ve not had it this good in a long time. I’m truly grateful for what I’ve gotten out of this writing journey.
Going back even further, I’m thankful to be here. Life is draining, but it’s also thoroughly excellent. So, I’m grateful to be able to take the good with the bad. Here’s to the next moments that await me. 🙂
awake and alert
the mind focuses
on the tasks at hand
thoughts aligned to achieve results
i am pleased
day dreams slip in
swirling from one fantasy
to the next
thoughts drifting in pleasure
i am captured
sleep beckons my attention
wide awake with intrusion
no, thankfully not tonight
thoughts cease momentarily
i am relieved
nightmares force me awake
jumbling incoherent images
rousing heart-pumping emotions
thoughts gone haywire and weird
i am frightened
images, words, feelings
flitting in and about
never-ending and overbearing
sometimes... they land on paper chapters closed and resolved they remain in my heart and mind not quite addressed, fearful of consequences i yell them at the hologram before me the need to purge anger arises they land on my cheeks the need to feel overwhelms i push them into the deep recesses, locked away remaining hidden from myself
but always a stream that never stops flowing
This year has been exceptionally odd so far.
Frankly, between the impeachment and now this COVID-19 pandemic, I’m feeling a bit unsure of how life will go on from here. Add to that, it’s an election year. 2020 will go down as one of the most controversial of my lifetime. The creation of all these current restrictions for safety and the need for isolation has literally changed our world as well. Let’s just say, it has made me reevaluate some things. Maybe for you too?
This pandemic is something unlike anything we have ever encountered before and probably will not have to face to this extent ever again, if we are lucky. I’m sure we’re all feeling a little unsteady as friends, family, communities, work-life and pretty much every facet of life is experiencing this gigantic and unexpected plot twist.
Current events got me thinking about a lot of things especially about the people I’m connected with for whatever reason. Some I know mostly offline, others online and offline, and some it’s only online and we’ve literally never met. I’m thankful for social media connections but these platforms don’t necessarily keep us in touch all the time. It is nice though when we do “talk” from time to time, so thank you for that. If this year teaches us anything, maybe fortifying connections will be one thing we’ll do right?
Let me get to the point of this post and why I decided to send it out on this platform. I’ve been genuinely wondering how everyone is feeling this year. With my own feelings being off-kilter at times, I thought I surely can’t be the only one. Since social media doesn’t always give us an accurate picture of people’s lives, my thought was “let’s talk about what’s going on.” I really think it’s ok to feel whatever we are feeling right now but keeping connected through it is also key.
So how is everything impacting you? Need to rant or cry? Have you found unexpected positives during these times? Do you have a close social network that you can reach out to if things are not going so well for you? Have you been able to keep the stress level down enough to not feel overwhelmed? Have you started something new? Is there anything you need to feel better? Feel free to comment here or if you’d rather have a private conversation, email me at email@example.com
I look forward to hearing from you but if not (and that’s ok too, whatever you feel comfortable with), I just wanted to let you know that I care.
Originally published 8/28/18, I offer this piece for Reena’s Exploration Challenge #119. Enjoy!
tumbling thoughts ricochet
in the gray matter
plinking to the next
in the series
of many bubbling up
one after the other
filling up the braincase
a headache soon to follow
but there is no stopping
the emergency du jour
life doesn’t stop
because we’re weary
but it ends
when we give up
and give in
the reserve we lose
with each assault
and gain back ten-fold
with each victory
for the next onslaught of life
slapping into us
being in it
steps boldly planted
hoping for outcomes
giving space to skip freely
in this one life
Deconstruction and comprehension of poetry are dependent on our past.
My thoughts are unique or are they?
Am I an original or just a borrower from the inspirers of my past?
I fear the quality words will all have been spoken.
I wonder when it’ll all have been said.
Will my voice be muted before I die?
Before I leave my mark…