Leaving The Wild Behind

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Our DNA tells us we come from a past of leaning into our impulses. Where combats and aggression were a part of the natural order. It is an instinct to survive. We were animals; we still are. It’s how humans are classified – Kingdom – Animalia, Genus – Homo, Species – H. sapiens.

But we aren’t animalistic anymore. Or are we? How often have we run into people who treat others with a “You get what you get, deal with it?” , “Fight or die” or “Fuck you, I got mine?” operating mentality? Having evolved is the reason we seem to have a conscience and a brain. Doesn’t that mean we should treat each other better? I want to believe that the majority on this planet don’t give into their base animal instincts and behave reasonably acceptable in our society. But then I watch the news or review social media. It’s not pretty. And then I think about my behavior. How do I react to people and certain circumstances? I’d like to think I’m not stuck in that gear of just instinct. But if I’m honest, I have to say I do sometimes respond with some of that piss and vinegar.

When I reflect on who I want to be, my wish is to emulate and radiate loving, nurturing behavior all the time. But being the descendant of a long line of beings running on basic instinct means that I realize that it takes effort and a desire to feel opposite of my nature. Sometimes the motivation isn’t there. Especially not in the face of belligerence. My capacity for understanding tells me my initial reaction might be to behave like an animal but also that I can make a conscious decision to not give in to that instinct. It does, however, require a commitment on my part every time my instinctual reaction rears its ugly head. We may be animals, still, but being in possession of a brain which has progressed and is armed with a conscience, it should not predispose me to act animalistic. We are capable of rising above our natural tendencies. And we understand that. But we have to want to be more than what our past dictates.

You can only change what you know, right?

Reblog – Loneliness and me

I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I did. It was achingly human.

living-in-solitude

Loneliness and me.

  

 

I found myself dwelling in the past
looking for the remains of the old me
wondering, how I used to feel.

What I found was

The love in my blood had drained
The trust I had in people had died
And the loneliness had embraced me
Since the night I stayed awake and cried.

Should I fear it, I questioned
What makes me a human, I don’t feel it anymore
Its been a while since I have felt a touch

I haven’t been touched in a while
touched by kindness
touched by love
touched by affection
I’m locked inside a prison of isolation

No one has come to see me yet
No one tried to free me yet
No one seems to be bothered by my absence
No one cares if I’m doing okay or not.

So I’ve decided to adopt it
Embrace the loneliness to used it for good.

I shut myself in
far away from the world
from the world where nobody cared anything I said

I start to live on my own
inside a big empty hall,
I start to explore,
explore the walls
see if they can protect me
or can they be broken by the storm

The storm lurking outside
waiting for me to go out
so it can devour me from inside

I live by myself
drawing, writing, praying.
drawing poetry, writing stories and saying my prayers
so I can learn to appreciate my solitude
and turn my flaws into art.

Do Different

Untitledtime has no beginning and no end
your stint is somewhere on the spectrum

a calendar year is a social construct
that has a beginning and an end

don’t be fooled
by limitations

challenge yourself not to live
in the shoes of others

january is not the only time
to give attention to behaviors

your birthday is not the only time
to consider the realities of your last

summer isn’t the only time
the sun shines

mondays are not the only time
to be frustrated about waking up

holidays are not the only time
to enjoy family and friends

christmas is not the only time
to give presents and thanks

40 hours is not the only time
you should labor and sweat

babies being born is not the only time
new life should spring forth

weddings are not the only time
it becomes fashionable to love

new years is not the only time
to do different

your whole life is the only time
to do it your way

Sublime Cruelty

photo-1524088484081-4ca7e08e3e19

Luis Galvez – Unsplash

hard efforts
fortunes stolen
earned rewards
but no joy

life is hard
and it sucks
some benefits
you’ll reap

other times
none
just misery
and defeat

but you start
again
keep going
till death

taking small
joys
when they
come

each one
a tiny 
victory
to savor

hoping 
the next
chapter
won’t kill you