Let Me Near

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Getting off the train in Chicago,
the strong wind,
urgent like me.
Each waft carrying my steps
in the direction of home. It’s as if
nature knew it was time for us. I’m so ready
to capture what sustains me. I’ve missed you,
your silhouette, and your substance.
Being close to you is a memory I pull from.
It keeps me sane while I’m away. This couple
defining what a day needs is everything to me.
Longing to share of myself, my legs
hasten their pace. I want to be
wrapped in the space we create.
I’ve missed your light touch
caressing my face, and
the sweetness of your kisses
has haunted me for weeks.
The questions of workdays take
a backseat while we rediscover
the single-best thing of the us we are.
The focus in your gaze tells me I
was right to hurry. It keeps me coming back,
again and again.

Residing In Freedom

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A peaceful and quiet place, all noise removed, has been my retreat for not only my writing but my sanity as well. The feeling of being in a calm, safe space translates into a much happier me. This human-made structure (my home), devoid of people with only the bare minimum house noises, is where I also feel the most productive. I would imagine this rings true for many of us here on WordPress.

Once intruded upon, my surroundings become less appealing. There goes my peace of mind as well. It’s as if the boundaries weren’t respected, and chaos ensues. I always wonder how others react to or cope with intrusions. For me, my space becomes a complicated atmosphere, and I become tense and charged. Does that sound about right for you too?

Even music was considered an intrusion. Never before have I been able to write with music playing until I started listening to LP.  It’s like she’s a friend holding me through the process. It’s an escape to warmth and caring. I happened to discover this when I wasn’t in my usual quiet space and still needed to get some work done. The distractions around me needed to be drowned out. It was not sufficient only putting the earbuds in, so I also turned on her music. Yay, no more external noises pushing against my boundaries, but then I realized I could also write with her streaming in my ear. Wow!

Her music takes me to a zone I can lean into comfortably. It’s a rhythm like none other. My being and my body begin to move and sway with it. I feel like I’m in my bubble again, but it’s enhanced. LP does this to me every time. Her voice, along with the music, makes me want to glide and fluidly command the space. She taps into a part of my nervous system that responds with relaxation every time, without fail. It’s like it all becomes one with the core of who I am. She becomes a part of me, living inside of me. And I can write because she doesn’t feel like an interloper. LP helps the process.

But I digress with this tribute to my all-time favorite artist. I do highly recommend you search her out, though. She’s phenomenal. Shutting up now. I’ll get back on track as this piece started about the peace and harmony I find in my little world.

After a 50+ year existence, I’ve had a lot of trials and errors to determine what does happen to work for me. Right here, right now – having a feeling of peace and experiencing a quietness like this has done wonders for my life. Not saying that life doesn’t still throw curveballs, it does! But even those are mitigated as I feel so much more rational than I’ve ever felt. That must be part of what the aging process does to a person, or? The mind knows what it wants and grasps it. Or is that just me?

The kids have moved on to the lives of their choosing. I sit at my computer and type to my heart’s content – books all around me whose words I get to devour whenever I want to. My head allowed to roam freely, contemplating everything and nothing. Because of all this, I’m experiencing freedom in a way I’d not previously experienced. I’m exquisitely fortunate to have this space called home to express my thoughts, and for that, I’m grateful.

May it last until I close my eyes for the last time.

Whispering Gratitude

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one last time
a slow stroll
rising up the stairs
feeling the worn railing
under my hands
gliding on the smoothness
of years waxed
with the oils of progeny

peering into the empty bedrooms
faintly hearing the cacophony
of my giggling girls
from ancient slumber parties
the distant laughter
echoing in the corners
what the walls have heard
of childhood secrets

turning to the future
gently placing one foot
down in front of the other
thank you, safe haven
i’ll treasure the memories
as one last sigh escapes
and one tear travels down
i say goodbye