Joy feels like exposure to the harshest elements. In showing it you become a pawn in the game of advantage like taken of that is.
Allowing happiness to make an appearance, well, that’s just a sin. “Be humble, accept things with grace,” they said. As they shushed my feelings out of jealousy.
Feeling like a kernel doubling in size, well, that’s just ruinous. “Let’s not have a grandiose, public display,” they said. As they swatted my butt out of anger.
Having intensity acknowledged on the surface, well, that’s just suicide. “Behave yourself!” they said. As they locked me away with a pious vengeance.
Where did it ever get me to give a voice to what bubbles up happy tears and excitement? Hide your feelings, stomp them down reactions was all I ever got. Because no one really wanted to meet the real me.