How Dare You?

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“When you went away, with you went your special face.”
Keith Garrett excerpt from When You Went Away

yes
OMFG YES

it all went away

this face
adoring you lovingly

a killer smile
appreciating your charm

these lips
so moist, waiting

bright eyes
only for you

it’s all gone now
but you’re bitching about

my…

attitude
demeanor ————– when it’s a direct consequence of your piss poor behavior
compassion

WTF DID YOU EXPECT?!?!?!?

Mind Games

34139790-stock-vector-vector-silhouette-of-a-couple-who-is-arguing-on-a-white-background-

Nobody ever says that, that those who fear falling in love have this tendency to be more affectionate and nurturing and gentle lovers. It’s not the fear of “falling in love” that they’re actually afraid of but the fear of “being in love.” The fear of being somewhere they’ve always wanted and the fear of not being worthy enough of it.
Juansen Dizon – Philophobia

 

I was the golden warrior.

Found my place, made my name.

I chose you.

You were deemed worthy.

But then you pulled away.

Stayed but let me wonder.

Who am I now without you really there?

Felt shaken, unsure.

Forced me to beg.

I wasn’t sure anymore if I was desirable.

Constant questioning.

How could you do this?

I trusted you to love me whole.

Honor and love me forever.

This is how you respect me?

I let you in believing I was worth so much to you.

But in the end, only you mattered.

Published on Spillwords Press!

Cold-Hearts-spillwords

Some exciting news to share with you all – SpillWords Press has accepted and published a new piece of mine – Cold Hearts! Many thanks to Dagmara K – Director of Development and Editor – for selecting this piece for publication. I’m honored to be featured at SpillWords!

Please take a moment to visit the link above to read about this free verse, micro poem which deals with the bitterness and feelings of betrayal in relationships gone bad.

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Shocking upheaval delivered unexpectedly.

The heartache pounded harshly inward.

Internal distress burnt a tortuous red.

A deep cut surrounded by a million small tears.

The stress widened all the wounds.

Anguish and heartbreak followed.

The future, unending and suffering agony.

Sorrow and grief dictated the next steps for survival.

This daedal misery mimicked a slow death.

Love left in an upset heap, an untidy disarray of hurt.

This… this from someone who cherished commitment.

Originally published 6/22/18

Endured Anguish

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KatJ

coming up on 13 years
the memory
the emotional gut punch
still
gnaws in my belly
at the recollection
of that move of yours
your betrayal
such poor form
to hold hidden fierce truths
years of lies
went by
camouflaged in my perceived sincerity

it’s what fools don’t know
that keep wretched people
like you
in the spotlight
of adoration
but no more
it’s time
you become the stranger you are
because you weren’t real
ever
not now
and certainly not in the past

she, who will never be recalled
will no longer
make me grit my teeth
send a surge thru my stomach
no longer
will i care
no longer
will i wince at the mention of your name
you don’t deserve to take up any room in my headspace
or my heart

Betrayal

Your actions made me feel like I wasn’t special to you.

You claimed…
     I was important to you. Did you show it?
     I was a good friend. But not enough for you.
     You loved me unconditionally, but I was too much to take.
     I was unique and different, but I was too combative.
     I was such a role model, but indeed too honest for you.
     It’s good that I’m honest. But I just wasn’t sensitive to others.

I was just me.
And you didn’t know how to take me.

Then I doubted myself because of you.
I shouldn’t have.

Our connection ceased to exist because of your selfishness and your ego.

A war of two individuals with no victory for you or me.
You gave up while I was actually still fighting for us. 

Then I let you go…. willingly.
Self-preservation was required.
I realized that all you would do is continue to injure me.

Just know…

I am important. 
      I have value. 
           I am special.   
               And you will never fuck me over again.