Tag: betrayal

Heartbreak

Published on by Susi BocksLeave a comment

Redux

My pain is nestled in these lyrics.
Bringing back those days of hurt so acutely, so clearly.
Wounded beyond repair, devastated by the despair.
The US once my cure for loneliness, no more.
Shattered in an instant.
Unease in my core, life flickering out of my heart.
Every moment of remembrance takes me back when you split US into two.
I fear I’ll need a lifetime’s worth of healing to get back my equilibrium.

Clouds part
Just to give us a little sun

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love

There’s a limit to your care
So carelessly there
Is it truth or dare?
There’s a limit to your care

I love, I love, I love
This dream of going upstream
I love, I love, I love
The trouble that you give me
I know, I know, I know
That only I can save me
I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go
Right down the road

There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love

I can’t read your smile
It should be written on your face
I’m piecing it together
There’s something out of place
Oh

I love I love, I love
This dream of going upstream
I love, I love, I love
The trouble that you give me
I know, I know, I know
That only I can save me
I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go
Out on the road
Because there is no limit
There’s no limit
No limit, no limit, no limit
Limit to my love

Songwriter: Leslie Feist, Jason Charles Beck
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Licensed by: UMG, [Merlin] FUGA Aggregation (on behalf of Arts & Crafts Productions); UMPI, SOLAR Music Rights Management, EMI Music Publishing, CMRRA, UBEM, UMPG Publishing, and 8 Music Rights Societies

When you get older, plainer, saner
When you remember all the danger we came from
Burning like embers, falling, tender
Long before the days of no surrender
Years ago and well you know

Smoke ’em if you got ’em
‘Cause it’s going down
All I ever wanted was you
I’ll never get to heaven
‘Cause I don’t know how

Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Baby, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?

Wishing I could see the machinations
Understand the toil of expectations in your mind
Hold me like you never lost your patience
Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time
And you’re still mine

So smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em
‘Cause it’s going down
All I ever wanted was you
Let’s take a drink of heaven
This can turn around

Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh, oh oh
Babe, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?

Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you cold cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?

Songwriters: Laura Pergolizzi / Nathaniel Campany / Michael Gonzales
Lost on You lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

Originally posted 7/26/2018 on I Write Her.

Painful Confusion

Published on by Susi Bocks35 Comments

Redux

pixabay.com

shocking upheaval delivered unexpectedly
the heartache pounded harshly inward
internal distress burnt a tortuous red
a deep cut surrounded by a million small tears
the stress widened all the wounds
anguish and heartbreak followed
the future, unending and suffering agony
sorrow and grief dictated the next steps for survival
this daedal misery mimicked a slow death
love left in an upset heap
an untidy disarray of hurt
this…
this from someone who cherished commitment

Long-Suffering

Published on by Susi Bocks15 Comments
Svetlana Pochatun – Unsplash

not another next
i do believe my mass will implode
what on earth have i done to deserve this
why must my heart be torn apart in another war
only to once again reject a connection made
the color of beaten love
a cloud on my face
oh, to kill the ensuing anxiety and suffering 

yet, i will search the trenches of my heart made by you 
to find the ability to forgive
admit
it’s an unreasonable ask

Inspired by The Sunday Whirl – Wordle #550 & Sadje’s Sunday Poser #77

Go check out Sadje’s Sunday Poser – Great question and wonderful responses! This piece reflects what so many of us have done – kept on trying and trying, even in the face of no resolution.

Amrita Valan

Published on by Susi Bocks16 Comments
moon and clouds
Jack Taylor – Unsplash

The Season Changed

The season changed
Deranged with loss, oh, how I grieved
The season changed.
Spring lambs leapt; blue skies furled white sheets
A cloudy barge carried your hearse
A setting sun shed crimson blood
The season changed.

The lovely moon

The lovely moon
Sent me into, a trance, a swoon
The lovely moon
Whispered gibberish, silver bliss
Made love to me, sly crescent tease
Winked eternal love, blew a kiss
The lovely moon.

The Death Dance

Death floats above my mortal
Cast-off shell
Adieu, life, as I knew it
The spring wells of joy
The pools of tears,
The daily grind
The nighttime fears
I am to hold hands
Dance above my corpse
With the great leveler
In the holiest temple of all
Without body or address
Dwelling outside time
And space
Where when I flatline
Where I go
Is something now I shall
Come to know.

Will You Be Mine?

I don’t want to be rescued.
Be
My deliverance.
I don’t want to be saved.
Be
My salvation.
I don’t want to be loved.
Unless I can love you back.

Please, don’t open doors for me.
Or offer me your seat.

Be my doorway
To brave beginnings
And I will rise,
Stand up for my beliefs.

Cost of Betrayal

My infidelity did not anger him, strangely enough, it humbled, crumbled, and made him so meek it broke my heart.

Lights Die Out

When he finally cracked, it was a ‘blink and you will miss it’ moment. The twinkle in his eyes extinguished.  

End of a Love Story

In short, though I was ready to forgive him, he had moved beyond the need to be forgiven. The end.

~~~

Amrita Valan is a writer from India, and she has been published in many online journals and anthologies. Recently her debut book of fifty poems Arrivederci was published and is available on Amazon.

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My Black Heart

Published on by Susi Bocks21 Comments
green trees under white sky during daytime
Jr Korpa – Unsplash

shielded by the dark
the frost turns to hard, clear ice
longing for some warmth

Bartholomew Barker inspired this piece from me with his prompt on Living Poetry – Monday Poetry Prompt: Dark, Frost, Long on December 20, 2021 While his image would lead you to think about Winter, my mind went in a different direction. What does it bring up for you?

Man-ipulation

Published on by Susi Bocks18 Comments

Redux

I Write Her

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“Men are every bit as sneaky and calculating and venomous as women are widely suspected to be.”  Lili Loofbourow

“Did I do that? OH! I’m sorry, that was not my intention.”

“Ugh, I suck. Can you forgive me? “

Eyes of innocence before me for the 1000th time.

Him being purposefully confused to purposefully confuse me.
Slick like oil.

An engineered game well-played to my detriment.

I am maneuvered purposefully, skillfully.
Me still loving, trusting and believing.

Directed by his intention I question myself.
My judgment is slipping.

Damn it.

For the last time.

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Next

Published on by Susi Bocks12 Comments

Redux

I Write Her

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And in that moment of forced togetherness
I felt like the boy eating off the filth of a paper city
I realised I’m forcing the same trash through my heart
In craving to be someone’s priority

Vasvi Gupta – excerpt from Reversed Smiles

Find the specific details on why you loved this person, and it’s okay to find yourself still loving this person, but you have to see that these qualities do exist with a person who’s waiting for you, who’s even willing to give you more.

Let go of the fantasy. Loss is a good place to love yourself more and work on forgiving yourself more. 

Baby, don’t think that the time you spent with that person was lost for it has prepared you for this very moment, our conversation here.

Heartache may lead to the suicide of the mind but never of the soul.

Juansen Dizon – excerpt…

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