i’m not the enemy
wrong
you were never a friend
friends will…
listen
offer a shoulder to cry on
give tissues as needed
nurture
be excited to be with you
tell the truth
protect
support
engage
comfort
laugh with you
act like your #1 fan
shield you from oncoming shit
be ready and waiting
me having to stand up for myself
and up to you
proved once and for all
you were never willing
to give what should have
come so naturally
Your actions made me feel like I wasn’t special to you.
You claimed…
I was important to you. Did you show it?
I was a good friend. But not enough for you.
You loved me unconditionally, but I was too much to take.
I was unique and different, but I was too combative.
I was such a role model, but indeed too honest for you.
It’s good that I’m honest. But I just wasn’t sensitive to others.
I was just me.
And you didn’t know how to take me.
Then I doubted myself because of you.
I shouldn’t have.
Our connection ceased to exist because of your selfishness and your ego.
A war of two individuals with no victory for you or me.
You gave up while I was actually still fighting for us.
Then I let you go…. willingly.
Self-preservation was required.
I realized that all you would do is continue to injure me.
Just know…
I am important.
I have value.
I am special.
And you will never fuck me over again.
need strength to walk
away from pleasure and pain
the remnants of our past
keep me connected to you
my brain thunders
with the memories
of our souls being as one
the connection everlasting
a fleeting hope of resurrection
pins me to you still
a false statement of contrition
tires my commitment
stop playing games
with my affection
break this hold
if it’s not real
please let me break free
Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge Week 63
Image provided from post
I
wish I
could go back.
Fix what I did.
I’d unbreak your heart, make it whole again.
My pain is nestled in these lyrics.
Bringing back those days of hurt so acutely, so clearly.
Wounded beyond repair, devastated by the despair.
The US once my cure for loneliness, no more.
Shattered in an instant.
Unease in my core, life flickering out of my heart.
Every moment of remembrance takes me back when you split US into two.
I fear I’ll need a lifetime’s worth of healing to get back my equilibrium.
Clouds part
Just to give us a little sun
There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love
There’s a limit to your care
So carelessly there
Is it truth or dare?
There’s a limit to your care
I love, I love, I love
This dream of going upstream
I love, I love, I love
The trouble that you give me
I know, I know, I know
That only I can save me
I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go
Right down the road
There’s a limit to your love
Like a waterfall in slow motion
Like a map with no ocean
There’s a limit to your love
Your love, your love, your love
I can’t read your smile
It should be written on your face
I’m piecing it together
There’s something out of place
Oh
I love I love, I love
This dream of going upstream
I love, I love, I love
The trouble that you give me
I know, I know, I know
That only I can save me
I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go
Out on the road
Because there is no limit
There’s no limit
No limit, no limit, no limit
Limit to my love
Songwriter: Leslie Feist, Jason Charles Beck
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Licensed by: UMG, [Merlin] FUGA Aggregation (on behalf of Arts & Crafts Productions); UMPI, SOLAR Music Rights Management, EMI Music Publishing, CMRRA, UBEM, UMPG Publishing, and 8 Music Rights Societies
When you get older, plainer, saner
When you remember all the danger we came from
Burning like embers, falling, tender
Long before the days of no surrender
Years ago and well you know
Smoke ’em if you got ’em
‘Cause it’s going down
All I ever wanted was you
I’ll never get to heaven
‘Cause I don’t know how
Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Baby, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Wishing I could see the machinations
Understand the toil of expectations in your mind
Hold me like you never lost your patience
Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time
And you’re still mine
So smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em
‘Cause it’s going down
All I ever wanted was you
Let’s take a drink of heaven
This can turn around
Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you could cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh
Is that lost on you?
Oh oh, oh oh
Babe, is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I’ve lost on you
Oh oh
Tell me are they lost on you?
Oh oh
Just that you cold cut me loose
Oh oh
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Songwriters: Laura Pergolizzi / Nathaniel Campany / Michael Gonzales
Lost on You lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management
Cravenly holding on when both should be letting go.
It will get better.
Struggling, wishing for the scenarios of rosier times.
Hoping it gets better.
Reality churns out a present of mediocre.
It’s not getting better.
Feeling panic and sadness, a demise is imminent.
It must get better!
Fade to black…
Now, I’ll get better.
I’m paying rent to occupy a space in your heart.
It’s a dark, dank unwelcoming place.
It costs me too much.
You mendacious man!
Habitual disrespect!
I’m done! No more lies!
It’s cold and lonely next to you.
Freezing.
What to do, to break through?
Open up.
Let me in.
I can’t.
I hurt because of you.
You lied.
I cried.
Then I died.
I’ll change.
I promise.
You deserved better.
I know that now.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
No.
