Dead Inside

Redux
Originally posted on May 8, 2018, on I Write Her.

pexels.com

you stopped reaching in to lift me up from my self-loathing
the focus and attention left the us we created together
i live an aftermath of trying to escape my personal hell
but how can i when i’m already gone

Reblogs – Rishika Kakar & DoRee MelNic

Romances end, psyches are damaged, and we end up alone. Is being on your own scary or empowering?

The Aftermath by Rishika Kakar

I sit here in silence
surrounded by the echoes
of who we used to be.

I sit here in silence
This Darkness is my companion
how did it get ahold of me?

I sit here in silence
The memories of our past
clasp my throat; I am choking.

I sit here in silence
The tears of your love
in my eyes, are blinding me.

I sit here in silence
There’s a void inside of me
it’s where your promises used to be.

I sit here in silence
Dealing with the aftermath
of an epic love. Your love.

I breathe in. I breathe out.

Inhale. Exhale.

Soloism by DoRee MelNic

The warm tears 
Swell, before they break 
Leaving behind 
A cool stream 
Running down my face 
Hiding the remnants, behind 
The closed door 
Just feet away 
From all of life 

*NOTE: 8 of the World’s Most Solitary Animals

Reblogs – Kristin Kory & Bruised Rose Blossoms

Who are we on our own?

Dismantled by Kristin Kory

There was something in the way 
she dismantled herself— 
the way she pulled fire from the sun 
and burned; 
the way she lay face down 
in the rubble, breathing in 
ash and despair; 
the way she tasted the destruction 
before she carved herself anew 
from the black sky. 

This is an excerpt from a piece I’ve written for my book. 

Freestylin’ To: Echoberyl – A Prey by Bruised Rose Blossoms

how many times 
do I have to scrape the walls 

your face climbs 
the mountain of my heartbreak 

but all I can do 
is rain down upon the landscape 
of our painted past with the fire of regret 

you were wearing black 
and I couldn’t take my hands off your hips 
or my eyes off of the sparkle of mischief 
that was dancing from a thousand yous 

the broken mirror 
on the floor 

the throbbing heart 
in my chest 

something’s got to give 
because I cannot live like this anymore 

but still we dance 
inside the earthquaking halls 
of my dilapidated memory 

and somehow 
if I’m honest 

I still love 
what we were 

Amrita Valan

The Season Changed

The season changed
Deranged with loss, oh, how I grieved
The season changed.
Spring lambs leapt; blue skies furled white sheets
A cloudy barge carried your hearse
A setting sun shed crimson blood
The season changed.

The lovely moon

The lovely moon
Sent me into, a trance, a swoon
The lovely moon
Whispered gibberish, silver bliss
Made love to me, sly crescent tease
Winked eternal love, blew a kiss
The lovely moon.

The Death Dance

Death floats above my mortal
Cast-off shell
Adieu, life, as I knew it
The spring wells of joy
The pools of tears,
The daily grind
The nighttime fears
I am to hold hands
Dance above my corpse
With the great leveler
In the holiest temple of all
Without body or address
Dwelling outside time
And space
Where when I flatline
Where I go
Is something now I shall
Come to know.

Will You Be Mine?

I don’t want to be rescued.
Be
My deliverance.
I don’t want to be saved.
Be
My salvation.
I don’t want to be loved.
Unless I can love you back.

Please, don’t open doors for me.
Or offer me your seat.

Be my doorway
To brave beginnings
And I will rise,
Stand up for my beliefs.

Cost of Betrayal

My infidelity did not anger him, strangely enough, it humbled, crumbled, and made him so meek it broke my heart.

Lights Die Out

When he finally cracked, it was a ‘blink and you will miss it’ moment. The twinkle in his eyes extinguished.  

End of a Love Story

In short, though I was ready to forgive him, he had moved beyond the need to be forgiven. The end.

~~~

Amrita Valan is a writer from India, and she has been published in many online journals and anthologies. Recently her debut book of fifty poems Arrivederci was published and is available on Amazon.

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My Black Heart

shielded by the dark
the frost turns to hard, clear ice
longing for some warmth

Bartholomew Barker inspired this piece from me with his prompt on Living PoetryMonday Poetry Prompt: Dark, Frost, Long on December 20, 2021 While his image would lead you to think about Winter, my mind went in a different direction. What does it bring up for you?

My Last Memory

poor mia, i’ve left her with scars
and tears and whispers in her ear
our last night in st. louis, the end of a tumultuous era

i turn, heading in the direction of my car
i feel her sad eyes on the back of my head, they sear
my heart races

she knows i still care
even now with me being a giant ass
my actions making me seem crass

but it’s just how things have to be, and now are
my wife said ‘end it, ace,
or risk a monumental financial loss’, giving me a scare

but i’ll always remember mia’s soft caress

~~~

I’ve only done a couple of ‘In One Word Poems’, so I thought I would try my hand at it again with these challenges. Christine – Stine Writing posted about this interesting form a while back. 

The rules are:

  • choose a word
  • list words that you find within that word
  • choose words from that list
  • write a poem in which each line ends with one of those words

In addition, I wrote this piece from a man’s perspective, something I usually don’t do.

Rose Colored Glasses

Tathanhtaun – Pixabay

partnership withered
she’s moved on, stop holding out
take off your glasses

Inspired by Sadje’s What do you see #118

I’m typically not a fan of this type of music, but damn… these lyrics are amazing! And they fit to this prompt. 🙂 And now, it’s growing on me. lol