Feeling no one near, experiencing spacious aloneness.
It’s the satisfying smell of solitude.
Such clarity manifests in the quiet
while the static cling and edges of life drop away.
Your unique energy finds home in the calm of your surroundings.
The serene settling into your skin.
It’s a rich serving of voluminous freedom.
You are so deserving of it.
Close the door on the thieves who empty you.
Banish them, saving yourself is most relevant.
Escape to the place where you can feel sane and experience peace.
Stay in tranquility as long as you can.
Gain strength, build a reserve.
Your existence will be calling you soon enough.
Pausing my distressed state, I distracted myself diving deeply into gastronomy. Immersed and focused on fusing the flavors of carefully selected ingredients, I relished the finished product. Ingesting my creation, finding enjoyment in it, allowing a small measure of an easement to occur in my current state of dysfunction.
The problem at hand begged for inner reflection. Waking every morning was a ritual of opening the eyes and viewing out my bedroom window, just staring at the trees and listening to the sounds of nature. Sometimes for hours. Processing, mulling over and remembering every moment of pain. What felt like agony and torture initially gradually allowed a sense of understanding to move into the grey matter.
A deep need to release anger and frustration created a passion for a familiar act. I required the physical focus, a hungry attack on the flesh. It was an attempt at duplicating intensity, replacing pain with pleasure. And it was had.
The process helped.
I got through my trauma.