You got close to me in a way I’d never felt before.
Your sensual touch took my breath away.
Your fingers left a trail of goosebumps down every bit of my body.
You bathed me in love and surrounded me with comfort.
Your kisses left me weak and all in.
We played well for years.
We fought the world and won.
We ensured the next generation felt loved.
We made a home.
We had joy.
They looked in and saw happiness.
They were envious.
They felt we got love right.
They tried to catch our affection.
They wished they were us.
I was missing the love.
I felt bereft.
I ached for you.
I waited for you.
I wanted you still.
She insinuated herself into our love.
She was bright, shiny and new.
She was trouble.
She got in our way.
She destroyed us.
He saw my worth.
He proclaimed his desire.
He soothed my pain.
He eased my tears.
He was my friend.
It forced honesty.
It helped me find understanding.
It propelled me into a new reality.
It changed me.
It saved me.
Me, I got a lot of work to do.
Me, figuring things out.
Me, facing all my demons.
Me, fighting for myself.
Me, getting it all right.
Us, starting again.
Us, hurting all over to fix our love.
Us, going forward and taking two steps back.
Us, loving each other anyway.
Us, doing it together.
Life knows how to adapt when its environment preys on it. Survival is the by-product of encoded genetic material forcing nature to continue but also to thrive and even rise above within their given circumstances.
For what reason does life have a built-in switch to influence continuation of a species though? Where does this desire to continue on and evolve come from?
The reason is a mystery; one that has long been pondered since the beginning of existence. We can consciously think of these things now more than ever. Not that we have any answers yet as to why we exist and for what purpose.
So many smart people can write book after book and provide research to explain all the things we have learned. It’s a never-ending mountain of information that details so much of what was unknown before. It’s beyond comprehension for some, inspiring to others to know even more.
And yet, no answer for what the purpose of existence even is.
But in the end, does it even matter? Animals and insects will be guided somewhat by instinct, vegetation continually seeking to fulfill what has driven them for millennia – to not wither and die. Humans will continue to exist the best way they know how. Influences in life will force them to decide what that life will look like; it’s their choice.
Nature consciously decided to be here, and we’ll probably never know the answer why.
Motherhood meant striving to give them the best of me they were deserving of then realizing they were rewarding me with more value than I had to offer.
Years of moments – delicious, frustrating, hurt, joyful, enlightening, spontaneous, fun, sad – quickly turned both into young men. Adults venturing out into the world, and away from me.
As new chapters develop in their lives, I’m looking forward to their stories, their adventures. As they offer the world the best of themselves, may life reciprocate and give back in abundance what they so richly deserve.
***the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Two strangers on different paths, both cementing a business arrangement. It produced a pleasant encounter, each enjoying the connection made.
It’s delightful to meet someone I can feel at ease with. For me, it happens rarely.
Those few people who look at life with enthusiasm and curiosity plant a kernel of positivity in me. They enthusiastically force me to engage again. And they are invested in their lives on a scale which most people dare not even tread.