Beginning, Middle, End

by chance
life begins amongst strangers
a start of birthed possibilities
propelled without consent

entering this world
substantive expectations spur entities on
with an unconscious hope for empathy and guidance

yet living is a potluck
one possibly enjoyed
but for them
probably not

filled with variables beyond their control
with only but a few moments
bent favorably in their direction

too soon
the barely living
trudge towards the inevitable
a half-achieved existence for most

with regret
many pass
with tears
they leave in agony
their death
the unfortunate finish they’d not hoped for

Seeking Light

dysfunction, years in the making
substantive love denied
fuckery freely given
innocence betrayed

rough starts
and disastrous endings
inhaling the methane of my own shit
lungs never quite breathing freely

almost at the end
sinking the lowest
gave rise to aspiration
and just like that, there was hope

Behind Closed Doors

Victoria Strukovskaya – Unsplash

Inspired by Sadje’s What do you see #81 &
VJ’s Weekly Challenge – What could you talk about for 30 minutes without preparation?

thick green creepers
a beautiful cover
on locked unit 28-5

the lush foliage slyly hides
the horrors
behind those doors

mutti wouldn’t approve
barring anyone entrance
revealing her shameful secrets

**VJ’s prompt – For those who are unaware of my dysfunctional relationship with my mother, Mutti would be the topic I could speak about without preparation for at least 30 minutes, if not a lifetime.

With Manic Efficiency

She takes the large dish in hand
rinsing it well before feeding it to the dishwasher,
noticing the stains in the sink.

With care and with rubber gloves,
she bleaches the darkness out of existence,
being careful not to inhale the fumes.

Next, all the messes, in every room
awaiting her professional touch,
laundry, toilets, floors and more.

It’s important to have it all in order,
she tells herself, a function of stability.
A calm exterior belies the mess inside.

She’s become the facilitator of happiness,
taking care of everyone else’s this and that
of expectations, a role of dependability.

What does it get her beyond the praise
left unspoken far too often
in the doing and undoing in the messes of others?

It’s been said “Cleanliness is next to godliness,”
also “Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely,”
Nice sentiments. She just wants to be whole.

Too many times, she gave away too much of herself,
so that there’s nothing left, now that they have left her.
She’s running on repetition and it’s all that she knows.

Frozen

she was incapable
of doing what was right
wasn’t moved
to undo the damage her actions left behind

no remorse
no empathy
no compassion
no connection

narcissists can’t be what we need
nor do what we deserve
nor heal themselves enough
to give us a desired remedy

it’s like time stood still
in the formation of their soul
solid and impenetrable
never truly warming to us

What Is Left Behind

i ask myself bigger questions
as i near my end
trying to predict what will remain into eternity

will i leave a legacy of uniqueness
perhaps inciting social awareness
or just gracing this world with beauty

my hope is positive contributions linger on
being touchstones for future greats
through impact, influence, and inspiration

for i know my aspiration
shaping dysfunction into being unimpaired
has to mean something

The End Of Hope

only some children
can claim that life is easy
only some adults
have a life that is easy

for there are many whose dreams
shattered before their eyes
heartbreak and heartache
the sum of their existence

when what is spoken is not true
when deceit dominates
yet forgiveness is expected
escape to better living is excruciating


With Love At Stake

Inspired by Sadje’s What Do You See #65 & VJ’s Weekly Challenge – The Other Side

your words
sealed away
yet surrounding me

i face the fear
of their accusations
examine them diligently

realizing that growth
was stunted by harsh admonitions
borne in my youth

it was time to heal
and move on
in order for love to remain

#Whatdoyousee
Image credit – Simona Sergi @ Unsplash

Reblog – Home by Weronika Donovan

This piece spoke to me on so many levels. What we need and want, determining truths, and finding our strengths. It is an intense piece. Enjoy!

Painted Poems

You want me to come home
What is a home?
For you
For me
it’s where my heart is
Not where my heart is
buried under the ground
of your monarchy
You want me to come home
Not because you love me
but because you feel alone
Not because you want me there
but because you hear the whispers
Which tell you
you shouldn’t have done
all the things you had done
You want me to come home
where the walls echo
how rotten you really are
Was it a home?

© W. Donovan

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