Frozen

she was incapable
of doing what was right
wasn’t moved
to undo the damage her actions left behind

no remorse
no empathy
no compassion
no connection

narcissists can’t be what we need
nor do what we deserve
nor heal themselves enough
to give us a desired remedy

it’s like time stood still
in the formation of their soul
solid and impenetrable
never truly warming to us

What Is Left Behind

i ask myself bigger questions
as i near my end
trying to predict what will remain into eternity

will i leave a legacy of uniqueness
perhaps inciting social awareness
or just gracing this world with beauty

my hope is positive contributions linger on
being touchstones for future greats
through impact, influence, and inspiration

for i know my aspiration
shaping dysfunction into being unimpaired
has to mean something

The End Of Hope

only some children
can claim that life is easy
only some adults
have a life that is easy

for there are many whose dreams
shattered before their eyes
heartbreak and heartache
the sum of their existence

when what is spoken is not true
when deceit dominates
yet forgiveness is expected
escape to better living is excruciating


With Love At Stake

Inspired by Sadje’s What Do You See #65 & VJ’s Weekly Challenge – The Other Side

your words
sealed away
yet surrounding me

i face the fear
of their accusations
examine them diligently

realizing that growth
was stunted by harsh admonitions
borne in my youth

it was time to heal
and move on
in order for love to remain

#Whatdoyousee
Image credit – Simona Sergi @ Unsplash

Reblog – Home by Weronika Donovan

This piece spoke to me on so many levels. What we need and want, determining truths, and finding our strengths. It is an intense piece. Enjoy!

Painted Poems

You want me to come home
What is a home?
For you
For me
it’s where my heart is
Not where my heart is
buried under the ground
of your monarchy
You want me to come home
Not because you love me
but because you feel alone
Not because you want me there
but because you hear the whispers
Which tell you
you shouldn’t have done
all the things you had done
You want me to come home
where the walls echo
how rotten you really are
Was it a home?

© W. Donovan

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Being Discovered

putting myself out there
open and freely

may i always be honest
with you and myself

when you read me
will you understand who I am

can you see beneath the shell
polished by years of dysfunction

and decades of destruction
aimed towards oblivion

when you discover me
will you let me be who i’m meant to be

an incredible, unique, flawed, special, human
meant for better than what i got

can you risk yourself opening
to a world shared and supported

will you grasp that it takes love and nurture
to be whole with me

would you trust me
on this journey

Hot Breath In A Cold Room

laying on her side
focusing outside herself
outside the window
at the moon

him on her bed
crushing down
on her youth
babbling incoherently

close to her face
intimate, like she’s his wife
exhaling utterances
laced with beer

scaring this ten year old
into a world
for which she was not equipped
fear gripping every inch of her

‘leave already’ she wishes to herself
not knowing what to do
when he, whom she trusts,
severs the line of decency

*Note – While this was a true event, the child was not raped, thank goodness. However, it left some emotional scars, and trust was broken as certain boundaries were crossed.

Dipped In Yellow – Part 5

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Shielding Kylie, Kathy, who was trying to remain calm but beginning to lose it, yelled loudly, “What the hell did you do to my daughter, Susan?!? 

Tom hadn’t been able to get anything out of her because she couldn’t stop saying she was sorry and crying hysterically. Kathy’s demand snapped her to attention.

“I went into her room to check on her, just wanting to look in on her,” Susan said hoarsely, the tears still flowing from her eyes. “Is she okay?”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!?” Tom piped up; his agitation was very evident.

Susan’s gaze dipped down, “I took her out of her swaddle blanket. It looked so warm. I thought she would be more comfortable and could move her arms better!”

Tom and Kathy looked at each other guiltily, realizing they had entirely overreacted, thinking Susan intentionally hurt Kylie. They immediately calmed down. Susan was only trying to be considerate of the baby. Kylie had managed to wedge herself up against the rails independently, not due to anything Susan had done. 

“Oh my gosh, forgive us for yelling so harshly, we thought you had done something to Kylie because you said you didn’t mean to hurt her! We thought you had done something to her! But it wasn’t your fault that Kylie was crying, not at all!” Kathy looked at Susan with remorse on her face, hoping Susan would calm down.

Tom squeezed Susan on the shoulder. “Yeah, please stop crying, it’s okay now. Kylie is the one who got herself in this mess. She was probably wriggling more freely, managing to crawl towards the mattress’s edge, and lodged herself in tight. It’s totally not your fault!”

Susan looked up at Tom and Kathy, sensing they weren’t mad and her crying eased up. “When I heard her screaming, I got so worried. We all know I’ve have not always been the best person in the world. I thought you would hate me or, worse, leave. I was terrified of that happening!” 

They immediately took Susan in their arms. All was forgiven, and smiles returned to all their faces. Well, not Kylie’s.

Later in their bedroom, Tom and Kathy snuggled under the covers. 

“You know, Tom, I believe you can say we were ‘dipped in yellow’ tonight!

Tom looked at her funny. “Huh?”

“Do you remember when I told you what my friend Jennifer, the psych nurse, said? They nicknamed unstable people that since yellow tended to be the mentally ill’s favorite color. Ring a bell now?” 

“Oh, yeah!” Tom replied. “We were a bit extreme today, weren’t we? I guess this was the other shoe we thought had dropped.”

“Gosh, we were stupid, weren’t we?” 

“No, we were protective parents, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I am glad that Susan did nothing wrong.” 

“Yeah, me too. We need to start believing that everything will work out.”

Tom yawned, “Can I get a rain check for our planned roll in the hay?”

“Well, yeah, it’s not like I’m in the mood anymore!” Kathy laughed. On that note, Tom kissed Kathy good night and rolled over.

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

Thanks so much for your participation! See you next month!

Dipped In Yellow – Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Six months later

Kathy got real serious and turned to Tom, “You know I hate to say I was wrong, but I think I spoke too harshly about Susan previously. I’m sorry I fought you so hard on moving in with her in the beginning. We’re all getting along; she’s so wonderful with Kylie, and everything I was worried about before has just not materialized. Our living arrangement is working out beautifully! Would you forgive me?”

Tom’s look conveyed that he could relate, and his hug reassured Kathy that he wasn’t in the slightest upset about it. “Yep, totally agree with you. This whole situation turned out a lot better than I thought it would too. The main suspicions I had are gone. But do you have this little voice in your head saying, ‘When is the other shoe going to drop?’ like I do?”

“Yeah,” Kathy nodded in agreement, “I do. I’m very proud of Susan; her turnaround has been remarkable, but still.” She let out a big sigh. “The bonus is that you got your sister back, and Kylie has gained an aunt who she clearly adores. Maybe we should just focus on the fact that we are very fortunate in that respect.”

“You’re right. I will do my best to tell that voice to shut up,” Tom said with a smile. Kathy laughed and kissed him on the forehead.

“Good!” Tom pulled her down for a deeper kiss that was suggestive of things to come. Right then, a loud, high-pitched cry came across the monitor. Kylie, with her perfect timing, interrupted what decidedly wanted to head in a different direction. “I’ll take care of her, but you remember this when we go to bed tonight,” Kathy said with a wicked smile. She turned and started walking towards the room, just then Susan came running down the hall, yelling, “Get out of my way!” almost knocking her down. Kathy steadied herself with her right hand on the wall.

“Susan, are you ok, what’s the matter?” she yelled back. Susan didn’t stop. Kathy yelled for Tom to intervene because Kylie was still screaming. She required her attention first. As soon as she stepped into the room, she could see Kylie was pinned up against the crib’s slats, desperately arching her back to get free but not succeeding. ‘Poor baby,’ Kathy thought, ‘this explains your screaming! You were probably terrified.’ Kathy picked up Kylie and realized the wood had left a deep red impression on her face. Kathy rubbed it gently to soothe her. As she calmed down, Kathy’s thoughts turned to Susan. ‘What the hell was going on with her?’

Kathy went looking for Susan, but thankfully Tom had already reached her. He had heard the commotion too and sprung into action as soon as Kathy yelled. He was comforting her. She was sobbing, visibly shaken, and her fingers were twitching uncontrollably.

“You gave me such a fright, Susan!” Kathy said, concerned. “Are you ok?” 

Between sobs, she said, “I didn’t mean to hurt Kylie!”

TO BE CONTINUED ON FRIDAY…

Hello Readers – Now it’s your turn! Please cast your vote in the comments below for the type of ending you would like to see. Try to have your choice noted by 5PM CST.
Here are your ending possibilities this week:

Sad
Unexpected
Happy

I look forward to writing how the story will end! Here’s hoping you enjoy it! 🙂