Redux
Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge Week 63
need strength to walk
away from pleasure and pain
the remnants of our past
keep me connected to you
my brain thunders
with the memories
of our souls being as one
the connection everlasting
a fleeting hope of resurrection
pins me to you still
a false statement of contrition
tires my commitment
stop playing games
with my affection
break this hold
if it’s not real
please let me break free
Originally published 11/17/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
Broken lives and stolen dreams.
Our past owned us.
Then I broke free.
You remained bound.
Moving forward was not your gig.
Clinging to safety in the known.
I was searching for more than
dying in the doldrums of security.
Sanity was calling my name.
Redux
uplifting beauty
eases a downtrodden soul
felt in a quick glance
Redux
waves of hate
inward and out
years of betrayal
misuse and mishandling
all that is wrong
is not righted
all that has healed
is not pretty
all that is pretty
is a mask we wear
the back side of smiles
hiding the ugly scars
where is the beauty
in you or in me
Originally published 10/27/2018 on I Write Her.
Redux
Opening the lid to the past.
Joy, tears, and laughter escape.
Youthful feelings rushing back expectedly.
Playing in the past like it was yesterday.
Staying there is tempting,
in the good ‘ole days.
But were they really?
Boxed memories are nearly all good.
Who saves the crap?
Those moments slowly come back too.
Time to close the lid.
Back to reality.
Originally posted 10/25/18 on I Write Her.
Redux
she was damaged by circumstance
against her will
the patterns of dysfunction became habits for life
she claimed her internal baggage to carry onward
life was always challenging
the rewards were seemingly unattainable
happiness was strived for but just out of reach
a bitter, lonely end was her destiny
and inevitably
she ceased to exist
Originally posted October 18,2018, on I Write Her; posted here with revisions.
Redux
Hours spent pressed into your body.
Attached at your hip.
Held strong and with desire.
Swaying, dancing with love.
Your fingers gentle but bold.
Moving up and sensuously down.
Eliciting whispered praises to you.
Always giving, more.
Easy to pick up.
Harder to put down.
I wish I were a guitar.
Originally posted October 2, 2018 on I Write Her.
the decision didn’t come quickly like rapid-fire
deliberate reflection was needed
him tuning inward for clarity
he needed to move on
she needed to understand
they’d both embark on a different journey now
each holding separate space
separate thoughts
separate lives
he said “no more”
she said “but why”
he said “because it’s over”
tears sprung forth
egos wounded on both sides
both temporarily shell-shocked
he goes on
she goes down
and yet
she will survive
she will heal
she will recover
and she may choose to love again
Redux
I shed my layers of hardness.
The best and the worst of me exposed.
Laid bare all my unspoken evils.
I trusted you’d see me as sane.
My heart wrapped around yours for safekeeping.
Pleasure replaced agony.
Excitement replaced fear.
Love embodied our present.
Am I privileged or are you?
Originally posted September 30, 2018, on I Write Her.
Redux
We were damaged early on.
Thanks, Mutti.
Years of pretense.
A lifetime of living with it.
But the truth came out.
You didn’t like me.
That part didn’t hurt.
It’s that you didn’t even want to.
I was good enough to borrow money from, though.
Just not appreciated enough to give me the truth.
Family, my ass.
Originally published 9/23/2018 on I Write Her.
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