we show people
who they want
for who we aren’t
it’s out of habit
so they say
damn humans, so complicated
Drawn to drama
By struggles felt
Empathy always given freely
Listened so patiently
Of course, comfort supplied
All needs are met immediately
Yet another tragedy appears
Tears, pain, the ugly cry
The solutions are found yet again
Now a different dire situation
A heightened angst flares so dramatically
The savior came when called, getting exhausted
Good advice, time and effort wasted
The pattern continues to repeat, not ending
Only in your world is life unjustly brutal
I’m truly feeling used, abused and recycled
It seems there is just no insight ever
Again being let off the hook from personal chaos
Why couldn’t I see it in the beginning
My heart bleeds so easily seeing other people’s pain
Damn narcissist, fooled again, I must be a slow learner
Presenting the gaggle, yes you.
Oh, do keep your insincerity down.
You sit and throw compliments at each other.
Faux kisses languishing in the air.
So loud as to not be believed.
You support nothing but your own agendas.
Every group has a leader who runs them.
One kowtows in silence for rewards of pleasure.
Another wants to be liked to the detriment of others.
The other doesn’t want to go against the crowd.
What a group of insincere cowards.
You spout off privately “reality, being genuine, love.” then act like little plastic dolls.
You wouldn’t know what real was if it hit you in the face.
Oh yeah, it has, but you dismiss it.
Authenticity doesn’t really fit in your group, or?
Well, fuck you.
Real people don’t hang with fake bitches anyway.
in my opinion
being psychic is a con
they’re all charlatans
remove my skin
it’s superficial anyways
what you see
isn’t always what you get
when i don’t know you
it depends on you
is what i decide
to have earned
to know me
… many won’t because all i see of you is what’s on the outside
those that shine the most
aren’t always the smartest bunch
turn down the glow, please
what you projected
doesn’t jive with performance
failed us in the end
the greatest stories
ever told are the deceptions
given in bland kisses
by the wretched liars
there’s no care
there’s no real love
there’s just an agenda
theirs comes first
what’s at stake
is what they get from you
furthering their goals
gets them one step closer
what’s at stake
is what you give them
being taken for granted
loses you your soul
feigned warmth and big smiles
shallow souls embrace nothing
We see each other.
Though we don’t know beyond what stands before us.
The reflection is a fairy tale; the image, a mask of well-being.
Or it’s a nightmare played out while awake.
More likely, people pass by being barely noticeable.
Understand that the substance of lives are not predicted in the first glance.
Let’s take the time to watch as the bios unfold slowly.
And find the essential being within.
Every day I challenge myself to walk two miles. It’s not my favorite part of the day, but moving is a requirement. Otherwise, I feel more like I’m one with the couch rather than this world. Usually, I do it in the gym. When the weather is refreshing, and weight training isn’t also on my plate, I walk in my neighborhood. What I do enjoy about being out and about close to home is seeing all the colors of nature and feeling either the heat light me up or the wind cool me down. I’ve always enjoyed that connection to all that surrounds me.
On my walks, in between all the thoughtful conversations I’m having or written pieces I’m trying to work out in my head, I notice a whole lot of people’s attempts at manipulating their front lawns. Most of them neatly done. I see every square inch of the green strands perfectly in order, complete with lawn ornamentation that on many, compliment either the house or the owner’s personality very nicely. The lawns go from deep luscious green to weather-whipped tan and everything in between. The human-made variations of lawns are as plentiful as nature’s vibrant and colorful display of foliage. But, some go to the extreme of saying a big Fuck You – I own you! to life with their manufactured look, rather than an inviting natural feel to their display.
I’m a big fan of orderliness in my regular day to day life so one would assume that I would be equally thrilled with those lawns that smack of having a paid lawn maintainer or an enthusiastic gardener as its caretaker, but I’m not. Even though the crisp look of those well-maintained lawns do add charm and a sense of ‘all is well in the world’ rightness to the neighborhood, there is something distinctly off about it too.
I believe that some Űber-manicured looking lawns are trying to present the perfect picture, but just like the clothes people wear meant to hide personal inadequacies or as the large houses chosen to impress are covering up massive debt and insecurities; these lawns are also hiding something. The facade of beautifully well-kept greenery could be concealing an ugliness on the interior of the homes that sit on those grassy pictures of perfection. I don’t know that for a fact, but it is indeed something I contemplate. Humans do try to hide their true natures sometimes. Our society, so often, demands obedience to facades otherwise judgments will be harsh. It hasn’t yet successfully come to terms with accepting people as much as they could and, in my opinion, should.
The cliche ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression’ comes to mind when I think about the pristine lawn. The people go to any lengths to impress other people with their skills at lawn maintenance. It’s a facade implying they are equally as good as their lawns. 5-star quality people is the message. At least, the maintainers of those lawns hope it will lead other people to believe that. They understand what society dictates and they are playing that game of what’s truly important. The appeal may be to present this polished outward appearance to indicate a level of achievement that won’t warrant negative judgment. The fact is, their character, as individuals, should be the barometer of what qualifies for being upstanding, not their damn lawn. I will say that there are probably a few lawn aficionados who are perfectly well-rounded, well-adjusted human beings and their top priority is only to be creative masters in their lawn universes. I’m not speaking about those people.
My thoughts aren’t always accurate but with a lot of the different things this old lady has learned in her life, I’m betting I’m not entirely incorrect in my thought process today. Appearances and fear of judgment are huge in today’s world and something I don’t see changing any time soon.
Or maybe the only reason this even comes across my mind is that I don’t have a manicured lawn. This piece would help to explain it to the neighbors who don’t get why it’s not essential to me.
I hope they are reading it.
My neighbors would finally understand who they are dealing with; a person who frequently doesn’t adhere to the dictates of this society.
**Originally published on Susi’s Soap Box 7/25/2011 Re-posted here with revisions