Braincase Blues

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shit just got real
life fucking hurts

emotions pour in
tumble out to empty me

an audience of one drama
spectators get the cliff notes

all thoughts on repeat to the nth degree
pain drags like spikes in my grey matter

good memories hurt
good feelings replaced with pain

every nerve lit
but deadened

i need time, meds, answers
and rest

i need life not to suck so much

Getting Centered

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when anxiety
diligently tries
to undermine
my efforts to live

i go inward
scared, asking questions
insulating in a bubble
surrounding my pain

it’s a lonely conflict
ravaging my body
me damaging me
tearing up my psyche

then i write

poetry
my conduit
to understanding
myself and life

Dosing As Needed

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waking up to an unusual ease
it’s going to be a good day

aahh, relaxed
breathing a sigh of relief

gone is the strain from yesterday
the agitation has lifted

would that every morning
felt this way

a smile can emerge again
not feigned, but real

there’s hope again
thank you, science

Sharing Essence

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Love me so hard
I forget the pain
I came with.

Free the me
who wants
to return love.

It’s there deep within.
I promise.
I have it to give.

Please occupy
the space
between my molecules.

Filling this
empty,
tainted soul.

Please help me
to release
these demons.

To make the room
inside for all
you can share.

Your strength
meets mine
and helps me rise.

When you’re where
I finally leave;
I’ll be here, dear.

Then it’s my turn.
Your slide to the dark,
my cross to bear.

Fade To Black

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life is waiting
for us to appear
lacking strength
once again

this blanket of doom
intervenes
feeling wrapped up
in 
cold dysfunction

held hostage by fear
it stakes a claim
on our courage
strangles it

eyes can’t face the day
legs won’t move
a body screaming
with electricity

the weight of the world
too much
retreat the only option
back to bed

we grow accustomed to the dark

 

Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge #81

 

Necessary Tears

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another heartache
the drama du jour
feels like the crisis of a lifetime
pounded down by hardship again
residing in a personal hell

oh, what a fresh hot mess

it’s a life-long process
a roller coaster of emotions
learning to traverse the pain
facing the trepidation
yet again, overcoming the angst

the release must come

a torrential outpour
of pooled fear
a flood of wet anxiety
thin, clear lines of human sap
so many streams of liquid frustration

until it finishes

after the purge feeling
lost and light-headed
slightly dazed
still riding the after-shocks
mostly exhausted

hope blossoms again

it’s the duty of tears
they lay the groundwork
for repair
to an injured psyche
needing to become rational again