Hot Again, Not Again

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love hot
then awry
smooth and gellin
then rage and yellin
deep expressions of amore
trampled hurt feelings are telling
of the up, down, left, right, inside and out
this relationship changes at a fever pitch from good to bad and back

let me get off this ride

 

 

Dead On Arrival

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It
took you
way too long
to trust me when
I was already
all wound up in this love.
Your willingness to provide
me with security, comfort,
and peace appeared incredibly late.
Now, all you’re doing is playing catch-up.
Now, all I’m doing – losing interest.
The flame, once bright, shines so much less now.
The feelings of desire have peaked.
Thinking about our future.
Where do we go from here?
Turning away now.
Letting go now.
Goodbye then.
It’s too
late.

I’m Meant For Others

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Monica Silva

you may not like my style
that’s your right
who I am
serves me well enough

your critique
does not
decide my fate
life goes on without you

deaf ears
small minds
little hearts
not my tribe

how I feel
what I say
when I project
it’s all reserved for those who care

 

Your Toy

Untitl1ed

This is your game.
You created the rules.
I just follow them.

I gave up my drive,
and my autonomy
to allow you to direct me.

Decision made for a life given up.
It’s insane.
Who chooses that? I did.

Why?

Scared to be alone,
frightened to live,
hard to find my way.

I let you.
You owned me.
You don’t care.

Fuck me

2

Shocking upheaval delivered unexpectedly.

The heartache pounded harshly inward.

Internal distress burnt a tortuous red.

A deep cut surrounded by a million small tears.

The stress widened all the wounds.

Anguish and heartbreak followed.

The future, unending and suffering agony.

Sorrow and grief dictated the next steps for survival.

This daedal misery mimicked a slow death.

Love left in an upset heap, an untidy disarray of hurt.

This… this from someone who cherished commitment.

Originally published 6/22/18

Sex, Lies, and Ratings

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Maybe relationships should come with a rating system?

G                strangers
PG             acquaintances
PG-13       good friends
R                transitioning to another level of intimacy
NC-17       best friends or friends with benefits
X                committed in every way, hardcore relationships, trust is off
the charts, depth of knowledge of the person is almost symbiotic

Interactions

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Best friends
know all the parts of you
are the holders of your broken and healed parts
cherish your being
drop everything to prop you up
talk you through your misery
share their joy intensely
always excited for all the chatting to be had

Close friends
care for your welfare
hug away the fear
delighted in your presence
make the effort to spend time
always just a phone call away
treasure the occasional company
are trustworthy until they are not

Acquaintances
offer condolences
say awww with a forced enthusiasm
talk about you as necessary
wish you the best
don’t remember important things
say hi and bye fairly quickly
frequently disappear from your life

Enemies
smile with the intent of doing damage
set sabotage in motion
talk trash behind your back
mind fuck the real friends
suck the air out of a room
have nothing good to say
lie to get what they want

May you have more than just a single digit number of best friends,
a whole community of close friends, a nominal amount of acquaintances,
and be spared enemies as you travel down your timeline.