Reblog – Avoiding The Truth by Rahul Gaur

Fear, shame, and angst very often precede withheld truths between couples. Rahul has captured the scenario of hampered intimacy so well with this piece! Enjoy the masterful imagery and hauntingly accurate words. 🙂

You can read more at Smoke Words Every Day.

I operate in unwritten words
The silences the glitter and the bursts
The moment before the click
The dawn before it tricks night
into losing the battle of sight
I operate in the ashes of the cigarette
that hurt the knuckle of her hands
The gentle desperation of solitude
that a thud of the door leaves behind

The tip of her tongue holds
the makings of a regret
I catch it in her hesitation
The downside of baring our souls
was the ability to read each others minds
You look at the door I look at you
I click one last picture
to leave you in your desperate solitude

I’ve Heard


drunks tell no lies
they say
but when they’re sober
they tell no truths

liquid courage
they say
but it’s more like
real communication’s anesthesia

needs to be shared
person to person
with heads clear

otherwise, the path down liquid lane makes

hard times
get harder
direction is lost
focus gone

and the urge
to share
what needs to be said
just adds up to a larger tab

Effective Blathering

UntitledUnderstanding meaning in what another human has to say can be difficult. Imagine a bird who tries to communicate something by pecking aggressively at a windowpane. At times, it’s that unclear as to what their intention or message informs us at that moment. We’ve all been in situations where we were dumbfounded. The concept is not clear, and we don’t get the message they are trying to convey.

Maybe we are distracted and not entirely focused on “hearing” them. That’s an easy fix, listen better. Pay attention and stop trying to figure out how to respond before you’ve fully digested the speaker’s input.

Sometimes it is a language barrier. Feeling unclear can add a level of concentration to determine intention with meaning. Being from different cultures may confuse what objects represent in the other person’s language, or even the translation to our native tongue could vary slightly. Heavy accents will further make communication problematic. Slow, deliberate speech can help any misunderstanding, and asking to clarify can go a long way to understanding each other better.

Incoherent rambling isn’t about making sense, it’s merely ineffective word usage and possibly brought on by overwhelming emotions. Or mental illness. They feel no clarity, so why should there be any precision in rationally emoting? This type of speech will lead to frustration and absolutely no comprehension on the part of the listener. It’s very unproductive, leaving the receiver of the information and speaker equally without a clue as to how to move forward with the conversation.

Some people suck at communicating. It’s like they speak one language and we hear a different one. The logic employed by the listener for understanding seems to be unique to just that individual, and the speaker utilizes another rationale in orating. In other words, the person speaking follows their path from point A to point B, but this journey may be the opposite for the listener.

Then add to that the layer of how intimate the connection with that person is. You tend to think you know what your friend, partner, or family feels about things, so naturally, that should translate into having more comfortable conversations, right? WRONG!
It’s frustrating to be talking to each other only to determine you are entirely missing each other’s perspective. It halts progress for understanding. The more we are frustrated, the less we are inclined to genuinely care enough to want to know what each other’s interpretations are.

Both parties thinking they are communicating effectively sometimes also have a desire to be heard rather than wanting to understand each other. It’s the “who’s right and wrong” scenario in the end. All you hear is emotion wishing to claim dominance and, ultimately, victory. It’s deafening. And it’s defeating what communication should be about – exchanging, conveying or sharing information, disclosing something of importance and a means to connect to others through discussion.

Realize that each conversation we have will be different. All individuals have unique speaking styles, and it matters the type of relationship two people have. Ultimately, the goal has to be mutual respect first. It starts with giving full focus and attention. The presentation of the information is what it is, and adjusting to it means leaving personal biases and interpretations behind while ingesting the data. When we also choose to utilize a keen sense of diplomacy during the discussion, then the interaction can be so much more transparent and more accessible to grasp.

How grand when we can leave eye-squinting moments behind and realize wide-eyed light bulb moments instead! And then, just like that, another avenue of connection has been established.




There’s comfort as I bathe in your loyalty.
I can count on your faithfulness to the script we are writing.
This love story of commitment and devotion is like none other.
I adore your dedication to our cause.
I can depend on you, my reliable partner.
You’ve been steady, for the most part.
True to me, for the most part.
A constant when the world wasn’t.
My staunch champion, solidly there for me.
I think you can be trusted.