We Don’t Know Until We Do

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Sad
So sad
Drawn to drama

Sucked in
By struggles felt
Empathy always given freely

Listened so patiently
Of course, comfort supplied
All needs are met immediately

Yet another tragedy appears
Tears, pain, the ugly cry
The solutions are found yet again

Now a different dire situation
A heightened angst flares so dramatically
The savior came when called, getting exhausted

Good advice, time and effort wasted
The pattern continues to repeat, not ending
Only in your world is life unjustly brutal

I’m truly feeling used, abused and recycled
It seems there is just no insight ever
Again being let off the hook from personal chaos

Why couldn’t I see it in the beginning
My heart bleeds so easily seeing other people’s pain
Damn narcissist, fooled again, I must be a slow learner

Feeling The Pain

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empathy is like a curse
hurting and loving
at the same time
the sounds of cruelty
sing an ugly song
the images scorch my eyes
my strength within
subsides
as my body succumbs to emotions
pain is magnified
as the suffering continues
unkind people
saying one thing
doing another
nothing but liars
abuse of all forms
killing innocence
harming possible futures
the evil sleep well
recounting their deeds
the sufferers of their wickedness do not
grieving with the harmed
wrap them in my being
losing respect and hope for this world
and aching for the vulnerable

Your Toy

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This is your game.
You created the rules.
I just follow them.

I gave up my drive,
and my autonomy
to allow you to direct me.

Decision made for a life given up.
It’s insane.
Who chooses that? I did.

Why?

Scared to be alone,
frightened to live,
hard to find my way.

I let you.
You owned me.
You don’t care.

Fuck me

Distorted

 

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Oleksandr Kurchev

waves of hate
inward and out

years of betrayal
misuse and mishandling

all that is wrong
is not righted

all that has healed
is not pretty

all that is pretty
is a mask we wear

the back side of smiles
hiding the ugly scars

where is the beauty
in you or in me

Shielding

Sticks-and-Stones-Soren-Palmer
Clarion Content Media

The injurious are on the prowl.

Instinctively my guard goes up.

Hurling words to pierce the psyche.

Expectedly waiting for more of a beat-down.

Another and another and another.

The taunts ricocheting inside me like a ping-pong ball. 

Humiliation the game, the victor no one.

I feel desperate and alone. I want to cry.

Fear, sadness, and agony achieved.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this!

Bored, looking for the next target to feel superior to.

I’m exhausted from this continued abuse.

I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF OVER THE EDGE TO FREEDOM.

Backlash

scars_of_self_hate_by_kapanihan-d8htjev
paintausea.deviantart.com

Guest post by Terry Susi

Just stop
Why can’t you see
I am already damaged

I am hurt
The fuse is ignited
Too late
There is no escaping
The blast

You can wrap me
In your arms
Keep the pieces
In place
Or hide
Behind your indifference
Hope the shards
Don’t slash you

I am done
It is over
I pick up the shrapnel
Now go
Lick your wounds

 

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