Feeling Safe

Unddftitled
pxhere.com

I long for the restful places
where the pain
is expelled or soothed
every thought on paper
brings a downturn of
painful emotions
an uplifting
into understanding
and peace
from hurtful emotions
a broadening
of my horizon
when I let go of
expectations
easing into serenity
and calm
finding
my happy place

 

The Five Ws + One Bonus

5-ws
Art Rocks

who are you?
who are you really?

what you show, beauty
what you feel, ugly

where do you see this going?
where do you think?

when you laugh, it’s only all the right things
when you cry, in private

why do you hurt me?
why do you always hurt me?

how you act, pretentious
how i feel, awful

Patient

CKXvE44UwAEfBgm
Game of Thrones

In my moments of “you’re just too busy”
I’m waiting.

Your agenda is keeping you engrossed.
I’m waiting.

Interests pulling you away.
I’m waiting.

Mandatory manly needs more important at the moment.
I’m waiting.

Just an occasional shout-out would even feel ok.
I’m waiting.

Your work, so fucking important.
I’m waiting.

Your real duty, so obvious.
I’m waiting.

But I’m the needy one.
I’m the crazy one.
The demanding one.
Too fucking sad you got stuck with this woman’s impatience.
You lament.

She’s beyond caring what your reaction may be.

#growthefuckup

 

 

Victories

230
Ash D. Solomon – Lucid Being

finally tasting
what it means to be proud
of myself
it took too many years
for me to be free
from the contempt
the shame
your shame
forced on me
always making me feel smaller
than you were
knocking me down
me losing my identity
giving up my right to believe in myself

what a horrible mother you were
damn you

treading water
for years
wasted years
of frustration and tears
pushing hard
to break barriers
and maintain
sure would have been easier
knowing my value

you were supposed to be on my side
damn you

did it without you
lived an honorable, scarred life
healed all the wounds
inside and out
ups and downs
gains with each effort
failure was not
an option
because

you weren’t ever my safety net
damn you

me
now
so much better than what was
my time has come
achieving my greatness
feeling good in my skin
owning the center
whole, and comprehending peace
it raises me above your pettiness
and your disgusting competition
finally

damn girl, 
so proud of you

Self-Imposed

Untitled

do this, then what
do that, then this

options, directions, decisions
helpful? maybe, maybe not

go one way
minute relief

go another
worse than before

they say prioritize
your suffering

work on the major
then tackle the minor

it’s all still chaos
decision or indecision

shackled in pain
cutting out hope