Well-Intentioned

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Ending an email or a letter with Sincerely always seemed formal and stuffy to me. It never really felt genuine anyway. I choose to use Take care instead. The person’s welfare is important to me. I wonder if they ever really hear that?

Recently I’ve begun to say Be well instead. It still implies that a person’s well-being is important to me; it just shifts the message slightly. Take care says “please watch out for yourself because you never know what could come your way” while Be well says “farewell and feel well.” The tone is a positive directive to just do everything in your power to being or feeling good. I really like that.

It seems so minor, I know. But Take care feels hesitant and Be well is bold and forceful almost. It’s the intention behind the latter ending which makes me want to use it more now. We could all use a little more support, I think.

Coincidentally, I recently learned of the philosophy of eudaimonia. Aristotle states in his Nicomachean Ethics that it means to be doing and living well. What I understand about it is that one can achieve this state of well-being through the pursuit of knowledge, honesty, kindness, and courage. Using a rational approach to life such as gaining scientific knowledge was also considered valuable.

It’s true that when we apply rational and critical thinking to situations, they tend to go a lot smoother. The outcome, even if a disastrous one, will likely lead to an easier adjustment to that situation. Seems like a formula for success.

What I also find interesting is that it helps me to understand my desire to use Be well instead of Take care. The former implies taking charge, doing with intention, achieving goals – proactive (rational); whereas the other is waiting to see what happens to you and then respond – reactive (irrational).

I really prefer to offer words saying I’m interested in their well-being rather than one of only hoping they can make it through in life.

And for that, I think I’ll Be well.

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Mystery Blogger Award 2018!

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I was nominated for The Mystery Blogger Award! Considering that I’ve really only been at this for the last 6 months here on WordPress, I’m honored. 🙂 Thank you, Reggie German! Please venture over to his blog; he’s got some great stuff!

I also (rules or not) want to thank, Okoto Enigma, for creating this award. At the moment, I have not read her blog, but I certainly plan on it. She is the creator of this excellent award; an award she describes best:

Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.
– Okoto Enigma

Here are the rules:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

Questions posed by Reggie:

  1. Are you in the occupation you planned on being in? If not, what changed your course? Never in a million years did I think I would be a stay-at-home expresser of my thoughts who would publish a book but I did! My journey down the path of writing started rather late in life, and I credit a wonderful inspirational human for that.
  2. What’s one thing that people always misunderstand about you? For those who don’t know me well, I don’t think they realize that I always say what I mean and do as I say. They are surprised when they can count on me.
  3. Do you have a routine when you write? I do, and it’s described here  Read, think, write
  4. How would you describe your writing style? It’s always been very important to me to be honest, heartfelt and relay a sense of my understanding of the world in my writing.
  5. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever worn? A shiner under my left eye!

Three Random Things About Me:

  1. I was an Army brat born in West Berlin, Germany before the wall came down.
  2. Have been married twice and bore two children even though I frequently said I would do neither when I was younger. Fortunate for me, I changed my mind.
  3. You can easily see I possess the perfect “footprints in the sand” imprint every time my wet feet step on a dry mat.

I Nominate:

Elleguyence

Glover Gardens

Fauxcroft

Yaskhan

Unbolt Me

Dark Anki

Aston Kamunde

The Feathered Sleep

Poetpaspoetry

Paul Lenzi

Here are the questions for my nominees:

  1. Who is the most influential person in your life and why?
  2. What prompted you to begin writing consistently?
  3. Name three places you’d like to visit.
  4. How many years is your longest friendship?
  5. If you were forbidden to ever write again, what would you be doing instead?

 

My Favorite Post:

Narrowing it down to one was just too tough! I ended up with three for these reasons:

The Process of Life and Waking Up for they are both daily occurrences.

Carotid Wine The first piece of fiction I imagined. The title was killer too.

Mysterious Life

 

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An unending, voluminous vastness gave us life.

The purpose is anyone’s guess.

Life knows how to adapt when its environment preys on it. Survival is the by-product of encoded genetic material forcing nature to continue but also to thrive and even rise above within their given circumstances.

For what reason does life have a built-in switch to influence continuation of a species though? Where does this desire to continue on and evolve come from?

The reason is a mystery; one that has long been pondered since the beginning of existence. We can consciously think of these things now more than ever. Not that we have any answers yet as to why we exist and for what purpose.

So many smart people can write book after book and provide research to explain all the things we have learned. It’s a never-ending mountain of information that details so much of what was unknown before. It’s beyond comprehension for some, inspiring to others to know even more.

And yet, no answer for what the purpose of existence even is.

But in the end, does it even matter? Animals and insects will be guided somewhat by instinct, vegetation continually seeking to fulfill what has driven them for millennia – to not wither and die. Humans will continue to exist the best way they know how. Influences in life will force them to decide what that life will look like; it’s their choice.

Nature consciously decided to be here, and we’ll probably never know the answer why.

 

Innocence

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When you look into those eyes, how can you not want the best for them?

How can a child ever be subjected to anything but love and support? How can a person ever think to harm a child?

Being intentionally and forcefully dominating, it’s just wrong.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Innocence needs to be educated and given the opportunity to flourish rather than dominated, directed and oppressed.

Please tell me you agree?

My Favorite Pair

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Jason and Ian, my precious babies.

Motherhood meant striving to give them the best of me they were deserving of then realizing they were rewarding me with more value than I had to offer.

Years of moments – delicious, frustrating, hurt, joyful, enlightening, spontaneous, fun, sad – quickly turned both into young men. Adults venturing out into the world, and away from me.

As new chapters develop in their lives, I’m looking forward to their stories, their adventures. As they offer the world the best of themselves, may life reciprocate and give back in abundance what they so richly deserve.

 

***the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

 

 

Humanoid

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Did you know that humans are genetically 99.9% identical? Well, it’s true! 7.6 billion people inhabit this world. Being one individual in this pool of many seems like we wouldn’t be that special. A human is pretty much just a human. Right?

Wrong! Look at the many layers of uniqueness that make up a human. We are defined by the various presentations or absence of such as…

hair color
political views
eyes
disposition
age
origin of birth
occupation
skin color
health
location
biological sex
gender identity
expressiveness
education
sexual preference
status
personality
style
religious belief

There are even more details to describe who we are as individuals. This short list only mentions the distinct feature we can see or might openly share with one another. Further identifying each characteristic makes each of us even more incredibly dissimilar.

Then add to that a lifetime of experiences which uniquely influence and potentially change our views and perspectives. It is unfathomable how many different human beings there have been, are currently and will be. Not one like any other, ever.

Don’t these facts alone make us supremely rare and our existence unprecedented?

I think so.

And for that, we should all walk a little taller and prouder.

Don’t you?

Impact

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“Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.”

Dalai Lama

I’ve frequently pondered things outside my own thought process because chronic thinking is what I do. To the point of exhaustion, at times. I don’t advise it, but this is how I’m built. Still learning to take the good with the bad.

Every moment I make a conscious contribution to this life, I’ll generally see an immediate outcome. But what’s next in the lives I have happened to touch? What steps do those people then take because of what I set in motion? Does it even matter or should I care, especially when quite possibly I don’t even know who I’ve affected?

We can’t predict the future but when we become aware how we affected others, would we stop to think the next time we attempted to take action? It seems quite logical that we could take a moment to seriously think through all possible outcomes or realistic assumptions before we make decisions affecting our future, and possibly those of others. All actions have consequences and ramifications. Honestly spoken though, I’m not so sure we would, at least not yet consistently. This explains some rather poor outcomes we see for people.

We all take steps in our lives that we deem necessary. Everyone one of us. Situations arise, and they require action. I don’t think any of us would disagree. A percentage of those people are likely to just react emotionally, not thinking at all. These would be the people who wouldn’t care one bit about what happens in the timelines of others. Frankly, they are more invested in their own hysteria and drama than others, or reality for that matter.

The group of people I’m talking about are those who genuinely and critically decide to make choices in their best interest. Do they generally take it one step further to see what the effect would be for others? Again, I’ll say, my opinion is no.

I think many of us are empathetic and also open-minded; I just don’t think we apply those traits very often when it comes to things involving us and our well-being. Our own best interest is at stake, that’s the point! When we are challenged to protect ourselves or make decisions affecting us, WE are the only ones we worry about! Rationally, biologically, emotionally – this makes sense. All you have to do is look around our world. Crises’ and wars that exist with no relief in sight are clues of our selfishness everywhere. But even in the face of what life looks like right now, I think it’s changing.

Looking at our history, seeing how life has progressed, there seem to be two steps forward, sometimes three steps back followed by six steps forward action. That is positive. So, I’m hopeful.

As we’ve evolved over time, it’s become evident that we are becoming more and more aware how we’re all connected to each other. We still have a long way to go before we become the kindest humans, but there is evidence that we are contemplating how we interact with each other in a less ego-driven way. I like that.

I just hope for my kid’s sake and all others who live beyond me that people in their lifetimes will help to improve all lives living on this blue ball.

Immortality

 

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We are all just one long line of succession to the next life.

Every bit of who you are was in the generations before and will be in every subsequent one. That is if you choose to grant your DNA a future.

But will subsequent generations be aware of your presence? Do you want to defiantly mark your name in history?

There is the question for the ages!

Should you desire an impact on not only your downline but also be known in the public sphere, it will require a willingness to plant yourself in front of your world-wide audience. Look at the gazillions of people who didn’t and are forgotten to history. We are walking on the essences of those who didn’t want to be known but maybe, just possibly, didn’t know how to carve out a name for themselves worthy of being remembered.

Believing in yourself is the first step. When you can share your unique self, hopefully, you will begin to leave a memorable impact in the minds of those you wish to capture. It’s not a guarantee. But doing so and having Lady Luck throw some opportune moments your way, should gain valuable attention and momentum for you.

So what makes your life grand and memorable? Surely you’ll be remembered by your close friends and family as being something worthy of keeping in their memories. Though what do you think you would need to do now, in this your one life, to hold the attention of the entire current population and future generations? Those who garner significance in history always have something rather spectacular and unique to contribute. I’d like to call it their concentrated humanity which exploded beyond the inner circles of their lives. Either they provided something of value, or they were notoriously bad.

Their presence on this earth changed the course of history, made someone famous or stood out as something so incredible as to warrant never being forgotten – good or bad. Their genuine, authentic selves believed in themselves and more importantly, what they brought to the table of life. They went about the task of pursuing their goals/dreams, without hesitation, going down whatever avenue they needed to make their presence known.

It takes dedication, perseverance, desire, support in all the right places, persistent and consistent effort, education, luck, chutzpah, and so much more! But most of all it takes your head in the game and knowing what you want.

Start there, and let’s see if you can become immortal.

Random Encounters

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And just like that, I have a new friend.

Two strangers on different paths, both cementing a business arrangement. It produced a pleasant encounter, each enjoying the connection made.

It’s delightful to meet someone I can feel at ease with. For me, it happens rarely.

Those few people who look at life with enthusiasm and curiosity plant a kernel of positivity in me. They enthusiastically force me to engage again. And they are invested in their lives on a scale which most people dare not even tread.

I like that. A lot.

Those are my kind of people. Rare, and precious.

Unnerving

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Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian

I don’t think I’ve experienced a silent moment, ever.

Every morning I awaken to a barrage of a million tiny pinpricks of fuzzy noise filling my ears. And so the daily task of getting that under control begins. The focus becomes, oddly enough, the fine art of distraction.

This audio companion has impaired me for as long as I can remember. Going back to my early childhood, I recall laying in bed at night when everything around me was still, and all I could hear was this buzzing. It just felt like it was a part of me until the day I thought I was going crazy. No one else seems to have this happening to them! I remember calling my best friend, and she laughed. “You’re not crazy, it’s tinnitus!”  What a relief, I had a name for it. It was just a part of me. I went about the business of accepting it.

It’s not been easy but who said life would be. Nor is it fair. Right?

Coping, distracting, even just listening to it acceptingly – these became my tools to handle what was naturally my physical state.

People think I’m weird for playing my music in the car thunderously loud. They can hear me coming from a mile away. It’s a coping mechanism, in part. To be truthful though, the other reason is that good music just naturally sounds better in the higher decibel range. Am I right?

So on the days when it’s too hard to mentally distract, I turn it up. It helps drown out the daily invasion of uncomfortable and unwanted sound. I’ve been told that repeated exposure to loud noises can make it worse. Uh huh, like I haven’t had it worse already.

This torment can be harder to cope with when I’m only surrounded by my four walls. You know, the place where I spend most of my time. Writing kinda requires it. But I’m also a person who likes to keep to herself – Read: I want to be alone! This means I must concentrate fiercely on my work or my surroundings in order not to notice what’s going on between my ears. Background noise can help ease the burden of staying on top of it, but it’s exhausting.

Every external sound I hear layers on top of this foundation of annoying buzzing, dampening it slightly. As music, noise, or voices pile on, the less the static invades my being. The more I don’t notice it, the better I’ve distanced myself from this maddening disability.

Forty-plus years after understanding what I was dealing with, the tools still work, but it’s getting harder. It’s disquieting. No pun intended.

And there is no cure.

I’ll just have to deal with it, some more.