I Won’t Tell You “I Told You So”

*deep sorrowful sigh

I’m sorry. So, so sorry. 

I didn’t succeed in saving you from your fate.

You’re broken now. The trust is gone, and so are your reserves. Your faith in love is shattered. It seems utterly unbelievable to have made it to this place of darkness. But you’re here now… and I’m hurting with you, dearest.

Oh pain, please just go away! Leave him alone. The agony is too much for tender shoulders to bear. Ease up… I beg you.

You’ll get through this, people say. It doesn’t feel like that when you’re in the thick of it though. But know this… I’m here till the tears stop rolling, the deep ache subsides and the reality of moving on alone becomes easier to accept. Whatever you need, love… I promise.

I’m here for you. Always.

*Originally published on PhiloSusi 4/17/16

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The Art Of Being Self-Absorbed

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I was once called a narcissist. Unbelievable coming from a 30+ years old friend. 

I do understand what a narcissist is now, as I lived with one for 18 years. It happened to be my mother. I also know that I have been influenced by her behavior which in turn could lead me to mimic it at times. Understanding who she was and the impressions she left, forced me to look at myself diligently. There are many articles and so much information about this personality type. All of which I feel the need to read, to this day. Fear of becoming her is the biggest motivator. I’m ensuring I do not ever become the worst of who my mother was.

Bottom line, that ex-friend was full of shit. She was deflecting because, in reality, the narcissist in our relationship was her. I had basically traded one unhealthy relationship for another. A knee-jerk reaction, just reaching out for what was familiar. And it took me forever to figure that out.

Knowing what a narcissist is now has helped me understand why I have allowed so many others over the years with the same tendencies to become friends with me. They enmeshed themselves in my life so effortlessly only to watch as they abruptly and harshly disappointed me. They left some deep marks.

All have been hard lessons.

Needless to say, I work hard now at not repeating history.

Holes

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“Mama!” screeched little Jennie.

“Yes, dear. What’s up?” yelled Dana, her mom, from the kitchen as she continued to focus on making lunch from the kitchen.

“My nooth sis hoot. Sall reb!” came the answer back from the living room.

“That’s nice, honey! Lunch is almost ready, come to the kitchen table, please.” said her mom as she scraped the spread on the sandwich.

Jennie walked up behind her mom and tugged on her shirt.

Dana turned around and screamed.

“OHHHH!!! JENNIE, WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?!” as she jammed a big glob of Nutella into Jennie’s nose to stop the massive bleeding.

**This was a dare from my husband to incorporate a childhood favorite into a story along with children and orifices. LOL

The Battle

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Hate. It’s insidious. Globally it’s been creeping back into our societies. We need to counter it in ways which protect and further goodness rather than reduce us in being the people who are the enemy.

But what does that look like?

Honestly, I don’t even know. I just feel that I’m not ready for the battle.

I imagine so many are feeling the same way. That is what might be the biggest problem facing us today. How do we get over feeling defeated and run-over? I wish that would change. But I don’t know if it can.

I’m left agonizing over what to do next. You too?

Inspired by Go Dog Go Cafe – Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge 10/30/18

Ancestors

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Inspired by Eugenia’s Brew-n-Spew 10/29/18

Cindy whispered to her antique doll, Abigail, in her lap. Careful not to muss her up too much, she delicately arranged her position. While her mother cooked, the child nodded her head as she turned in her direction.

“Mama, when did Grandma Francis give you Abigail?” referring to her favorite doll.

“Let me think. I was probably about four years old just like you. My mom told me that her mother had gotten Abigail when she was four years old as well. Why do you ask?” Cindy’s mother replied.

“Oh, Abigail said Victoria owned her first. Do I know her?”

Shhhh…

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“No one can know, Tom. I’m afraid of what will happen!”
“Don’t you think I know that, Sherry?”

Both quietly uncomfortable carrying their heavy load. The sweat on their brow evident from the efforts of hauling this load to the pier.

Pausing briefly, they looked at each other.

“Are you ready, Sherry?”
“Yeah, let’s do this, Tom.”

They watched as the suitcase dropped in the water. Bubbles immediately appeared after it plunged into the water. The bricks helped to force it further down.

“I feel like I just lost my best friend, Tom.”
“Well, yeah, because you just did, Sherry!”

Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge – Week 60

Grow A Conscience, Please!

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Kat Yukawa

So, you think money is at the root of all evil? You know what they say about clichés – like bumholes, everyone has got one. It’s a phrase that you say when it’s not really been thought through.

I would offer a different view. The bad intention behind the use of money is the root of all evil.

Think about it.

Money isn’t all bad. If it was, why would we be trying so hard to make it or get it? First and foremost – it’s for our survival! We do happen to live in a society where money is required to buy the bare necessities. Whether it’s to pay rent or a mortgage for shelter, money for food when we’re hungry or the doctor when we’re sick; these things need to be paid for. Money IS what meets those needs. And money gives us a small amount of comfort to indulge in those things that we want, not just need, should we have a bit extra. Spending money in this sense is self-preservation, so not a bad thing and certainly not evil.

And second, what about all the charitable things we can do with the money? When non-profit organizations do their thing, how do you think those actions get funded? With MONEY! Oh and what about natural disasters, how do tragedies get solved? With MONEY! And lots of it. All the people who donate to disaster relief or charities for a wide variety of causes, not evil.

So money isn’t inherently bad, and neither are the people who spend money with good intentions. Why money does get a bad reputation though is when “Money makes the world go round.”  in ways that only benefit a few and helps them to achieve a good life on the backs of others. Couldn’t resist another cliché to make my point. And that point being, if the intention of getting or spending money is to the detriment of others, that’s evil.

Corruption and greed fuel their intention, money just allows it to blossom because people make the decision to give in to these behaviors. Somehow their needs are more important than the well-being of others. It’s sickening, and it’s uncivilized.

Let’s take a look some of the examples*:

  • Prosperity Preachers
  • Heads of Corporations
  • Heads of Non-profits
  • Crooked Government officials
  • Psychics/Mediums
  • Scam/Con Artists
  • Drug Cartels

*Not all people listed in this set are what I would refer to as evil, but a predominant number fit the bill. Also, people who have bad intentions are everywhere, and in every walk of life, this is but a short list of obvious suspects. 

I’ve lived a life that included poverty at the beginning, gave me struggles to overcome in the middle and now gives me comfort in my current lifestyle, but at each step, I’ve never desired to hurt others in achieving a better life. Nor do I require such a luxurious life which would seclude me from the majority of the population. All I need is my health to enjoy a bit of ease, have some fun and spend my precious time with my family and friends as I venture into my twilight years. I do want to take care of myself but I would never choose to hurt others to accomplish that.

Money and bad intentions – that is crossing the line of decency. And that’s what is evil.

 

Inspired to write this for Reena – Exploration Challenge Week 59

 

Convening The Troops

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The country is divided – rich vs. poor, black vs. white, men vs. women – freedom wanted, but only oppression is alive and well. The guilty get a pass; the innocent convicted of nothing. There is an unease permeating throughout. All inhabitants challenged like never before in this reign of rich, white men’s egos. The political climate of today’s world has all teetering and scared. The tension so thick, cutting it only adds more strength to the day’s events.

Scene 1 – Random coffee shop in the US

Friend 1 – “Oh, man, this sucks! Waah, Waah. I don’t know how much more I can take of this! Waah, Waah. I’m sooooo tired of feeling dragged down. Waah, Waah. I don’t like it! Waah, Waah. Will it ever end??”

Friend 2 – “Give it time, Friend 1. You do realize things sometimes have to get worse before they get better! Good can and will triumph eventually! It will all be okay. I’m sure of it. You need to resign yourself to things taking their own time.”

Friend 3 – “Oh, Friend 2, you are such a delusional twit! THIS chaos IS the end of our country as we know it. It’s gone to hell in a handbasket. Life IS OVER and will never be better again, EVAH!”

Friend 4 – “I don’t understand?? I loved this country! Fought for it, stood for it, pledged my commitment to it and now it just feels like a betrayal! Friend 3, what did I do wrong? I gave it all I was supposed to and all that I get back is something that doesn’t even remotely resemble the bond we had before.”

Friend 5 – “OMGosh you guys! You don’t realize what is happening right now at all! How can you not see that we are Making America Great Again?? Our current state is the best thing that could have happened to this country! I pledge my allegiance till the day I die. And so should you!”

Friend 6 – “Go ahead. You sit here and lament, thinking that time will heal everything, angrily do nothing, wallow in your misery, or proudly pound your chest. Just know that we are done! I can’t believe I’m friends with people who are so selfish, blind, apathetic, and just plain ignorant. How in the hell did that ever happen? I can’t and won’t remain quiet in the face of our demise! While I go fight for what’s right, remember it’s because you don’t know how! Good-bye!” **Stands up and leaves dramatically

Fade to black

 

Inspired by Reena’s Exploration Challenge – #Week 58 – “Using Keywords”

Hope you all have enjoyed this short fiction/non-fiction story using all the keywords. Can you identify where they are being used? I hope so! 🙂