fiery attitude heard as a child
trapped between two enemies
wishing war’s end
eventually
with feet stamping
moving forward determinedly
chasing curiosity and immense feelings
rescuing myself from chaos
one hard step after another
shedding layers of dysfunction
releasing the heavy weight of the past
choosing a better life
Tag: raising children
Re-Examine
be the better parent
in your child’s wanted present
than how you were wronged
in your undeserved past
set them up for success
in what is always a hard-won future
So Proud
Redux
life tasked me
with motherhood
my answer
an enthusiastic acceptance
to comply
my heart grew up
and bigger with him
my life turned upside down
lessons learned changed
my future self
such a man now
a decent one
not a little big boy
he’s leading the charge
on the rest of his life
his determination
replaces my worry
his success now leads him
the torch is passed
with relief and validation
so proud
Originally published 3/8/2019 on I Write Her.
Only Monsters
i rage when i hear
you were born to die for your children
lies! lies! lies!
you never really cared
protection doesn’t mean you wage war on them
love shouldn’t include insults and vile anger
indifference wasn’t the language i was supposed to learn
that’s not what mothers are supposed to do
what you left behind was a little girl
constantly shielding from the recriminations and the odd revenge
constantly hiding from the anger
i was always worried
in this home called chaos
where growth was made difficult by the injustices
but grow i did when i became a mother myself
yet, still i probe
still i reflect
still
i yearn for a love never freely given
A Mom’s Dilemma
Inspired by What do you see #276
the world is not safe
shant let you out of my sight
my precious baby
want you to grow up
become strong and resilient
tell world to beware
Dysfunction
it happened when least expected
taken advantage of
at our most vulnerable moments
our furtherance at stake
things screwed us up
we didn’t know any better
young and reckless
saddled with stupidity
and inherited complications
some will survive
others succumb
and a few will thrive
Evolved
your proclamations were lies
billowing constant torments to my psyche
you could have used a medical diagnosis
i needed medical intervention well into my adulthood
soothing came with age
the abatement of self-destruction
long in coming
self-worth returned
self-love administered
wholeness flourished
We Owe Them
Looking at the world around me, I see a tremendous amount of beauty, but woven into the fabric of living is much that is distressing. The sadness and cruelty that falls upon the young ones, the vulnerable, and the innocent ones is heartbreaking, and worse some of us humans don’t even care that it happens. What is wrong with our world?
Children didn’t ask to be born. They are entitled to have parents who are loving, nurturing, kind, and not dysfunctional. Many days and nights, even doing the best that I could be as a parent, have left me with guilt-induced sadness. I know that I didn’t live up to what I thought should be great parenting; I made many mistakes.
As adults, we have a responsibility to provide the next generation hope their lives will bear fruit in a world that is notoriously treacherous to navigate to begin with. They deserve only the best. If all babies were born wanted, loved, and raised appropriately, future generations would thrive. Maybe. I hope.
Progeny
Inspired by Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Nonsensical & Reena’s Exploration Challenge #259
their precious faces
and nonsensical babbles
sheer joy in their eyes
ah, the memories of those days
bring a smile to my face
the poopy diapers
siblings fighting
snot-filled noses
hours upon hours of crying
not so much
each year brought new challenges
as milestones were reached and lessons were learned
and just when my last nerve was plucked
growth occurred
i uttered a sigh of relief
they are grown now
having flown the coop
to fashion their lives as they see fit
it’s satisfying to know
i got two things right
Meltdowns
Inspired by Sadje’s What do you see #78 and VJ’s Weekly Challenge – I’m bored
i’m bored!
my teddy bear fell in the toilet!
i’m hungry!
jeffy took my crayons!
i’m thirsty!
mama, my finger is stuck!
sandra poked me!
jeffy hit me!
mommy, the cat looked at me funny!
come darlings
lunch is ready
the kiddie table is set
maybe some wine and a cigarette will calm you two down?
**DISCLAIMER – I’ve never offered toddlers wine or cigarettes.
I Write Her 