With Manic Efficiency

She takes the large dish in hand
rinsing it well before feeding it to the dishwasher,
noticing the stains in the sink.

With care and with rubber gloves,
she bleaches the darkness out of existence,
being careful not to inhale the fumes.

Next, all the messes, in every room
awaiting her professional touch,
laundry, toilets, floors, and more.

It’s important to have it all in order,
she tells herself, a function of stability.
A calm exterior belies the mess inside.

She’s become the facilitator of happiness,
taking care of everyone else’s this and that
of expectations, a role of dependability.

What does it get her beyond the praise
left unspoken far too often
in the doing and undoing of the messes of others?

It’s been said that “Cleanliness is next to godliness,”
also “Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely,”
Nice sentiments. She just wants to be whole.

Too many times, she gave away too much of herself,
so that there’s nothing left, now that they have left her.
She’s running on repetition and it’s all that she knows.

Frozen

she was incapable
of doing what was right
wasn’t moved
to undo the damage her actions left behind

no remorse
no empathy
no compassion
no connection

narcissists can’t be what we need
nor do what we deserve
nor heal themselves enough
to give us a desired remedy

it’s like time stood still
in the formation of their soul
solid and impenetrable
never truly warming to us

What Is Left Behind

i ask myself bigger questions
as i near my end
trying to predict what will remain into eternity

will i leave a legacy of uniqueness
perhaps inciting social awareness
or just gracing this world with beauty

my hope is positive contributions linger on
being touchstones for future greats
through impact, influence, and inspiration

for i know my aspiration
shaping dysfunction into being unimpaired
has to mean something

The End Of Hope

only some children
can claim that life is easy
only some adults
have a life that is easy

for there are many whose dreams
shattered before their eyes
heartbreak and heartache
the sum of their existence

when what is spoken is not true
when deceit dominates
yet forgiveness is expected
escape to better living is excruciating


With Love At Stake

Inspired by Sadje’s What Do You See #65 & VJ’s Weekly Challenge – The Other Side

your words
sealed away
yet surrounding me

i face the fear
of their accusations
examine them diligently

realizing that growth
was stunted by harsh admonitions
borne in my youth

it was time to heal
and move on
in order for love to remain

#Whatdoyousee
Image credit – Simona Sergi @ Unsplash

Reblog – Home by Weronika Donovan

This piece spoke to me on so many levels. What we need and want, determining truths, and finding our strengths. It is an intense piece. Enjoy!

W. Donovan's avatarPainted Poems

You want me to come home
What is a home?
For you
For me
it’s where my heart is
Not where my heart is
buried under the ground
of your monarchy
You want me to come home
Not because you love me
but because you feel alone
Not because you want me there
but because you hear the whispers
Which tell you
you shouldn’t have done
all the things you had done
You want me to come home
where the walls echo
how rotten you really are
Was it a home?

© W. Donovan

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Reblog – Magnets

I’m sensing a theme this week. ;)

Being Discovered

putting myself out there
open and freely

may i always be honest
with you and myself

when you read me
will you understand who I am

can you see beneath the shell
polished by years of dysfunction

and decades of destruction
aimed towards oblivion

when you discover me
will you let me be who i’m meant to be

an incredible, unique, flawed, special, human
meant for better than what i got

can you risk yourself opening
to a world shared and supported

will you grasp that it takes love and nurture
to be whole with me

would you trust me
on this journey

Hot Breath In A Cold Room

laying on her side
focusing outside herself
outside the window
at the moon

him on her bed
crushing down
on her youth
babbling incoherently

close to her face
intimate, like she’s his wife
exhaling utterances
laced with beer

scaring this ten year old
into a world
for which she was not equipped
fear gripping every inch of her

‘leave already’ she wishes to herself
not knowing what to do
when he, whom she trusts,
severs the line of decency

*Note – While this was a true event, the child was not raped, thank goodness. However, it left some emotional scars, and trust was broken as certain boundaries were crossed.

Rest In Bed

pxhere.com

always the dread at midnight
assuming a million attempts at slumber
closing my eyes with hope
shutting down my mind
oblivion is beckoning

when i finally do
i can’t stay asleep
waking every few hours
yet still hoping for a longer stretch
that never comes

then the light fills the room
and all i want to do
is stay in bed
sinking in deeper
to the dreams which also keep me awake

is this the prelude
to wishing for my demise
slower starts every day
feeling the energy drain away
as sleep doesn’t revive me anymore