Loud

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kept down
held back
filled with fear
and rage 

despair at every turn
me, an unwilling victim
blockades to stop me
turbulence swirling me about

My history embedded a lack of power in me.
Years of criticism, critique, and disgust took its toll.
Thick layers of neglect crusted over on this shell of me.
Defeated, ignored, and scared.

But I dared to feel more important than what the day rolled out.
I fought to experience life exquisitely, with the volume on high.
Determined to engage with this existence full of substance and force.
I clutched myself hard and pushed forward to lean loudly into my future.

Not gonna hide from it anymore.

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