my first awakened me
daily ones sustained me
flutteringly fast ones escalated my anxiety
deep, intentional ones calmed me
shallow ones generally got me through the day
focused ones had me reflect on my shit
roughly 25,000 times a day
normal means breathing for my life
i don’t control it
it controls me
awake or asleep
the day will come
when no craving for air exists
when i’ll take my last breath
and i will be at peace
sniffles, coughs, anguished sighing
mucus-snorting and throat-clearing noises
all exaggerated, attention-seeking, and loud
time for my headset
**UPDATE – He has recovered from the Man-Flu.
***ANOTHER UPDATE – Now I’ve got it. :_(
Redux
I
really
can’t help you.
Many struggles
of my own. You take care while I take care.
Originally posted on 11/1/2018 on I Write Her.
snip and tuck
here and there
aligning the mind’s image
to public presentation
advances have been made
yet worry arises
as a dilemma presents
in the aftermath
love surrounds
and concern abounds
all hover with care
for best outcomes
right actions secured
the worst scenario averted
then home for attentiveness and recovery
in pain but so much more at ease
slow and steady progress continues
bucket list item checked off
The helicopter whirred, little Julian laughed again, and sadly, my mind became a blur. It was so disorienting.
The responsibilities I shouldered previously were no more. They had to end, as my mind was more off than on now. Mostly I was quiet except when I “awoke” to the mists of my past, not knowing what was real anymore. I yearned for stability and was rewarded with none. Every morning, with the tips of my fingers stretched, a yawn escaped my lips as I greeted the dawn anew, wondering what I would remember, if anything at all.
Que Sera Sera.
Inspired by MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie Saturday Mix
i wish to utter words
but all that emerges are silent streams of liquid
i want to end my thirst
permitting myself to indulge
why does soda have to be so bad for me?
undoing daily harm
with firm yet soft gentleness
life is so chronic
the great debate
a miracle or a poison
sparing more lives
or dooming future generations
we are fraught with anxiety
but it’s prescribed to allay fears
helping or hurting
time will let us know
it was outrage
validating your feelings
but forgiveness tells you
the fury’s no longer needed
the anger felt like a best friend
your shield
who can now leave your side
because she knows you got this
letting it go
feeling yourself lift
becoming unburdened from the past
a healing has begun
I am always working on my mind, body and Susi.
I Write Her 