Freedom From The Past

“Dead family walking!”

The family was chaotic from day one.

They being an absentee, alcoholic father, and a probably-suffering-from-a-mental-illness mother not understanding love.

A child being cheated out of something before her existence had ever really begun.

So many unusual life lessons played out where mediocrity would flourish.

Determined small steps tested the authorities; she tried where she could.

Her willingness to rise above engaged with her persistently in the aftermath of their lives.

She took control of all in her realm, determined to do what was best.

The past is now safely in the rear-view mirror.

Today promised ever-increasing clarity going forward.

**Forgive me, Reena. This wasn’t written today, but your prompt reminded me of this piece I wrote back in 2018. With today being Thanksgiving and your challenge speaking to thankfulness in a unique situation, this poem seemed to fit the request. It reminds me to be grateful precisely for that which tried to hold me down or keep me from success.

Brotherly Love

a tender embrace
with such loving protection
sibling so lucky

Undermined

feeling joyful and light
but always waiting for the thickness
of the air to creep in
weighing down my contentedness felt

a momentary calm before the storm
until my mind sucks the buoyancy out of the air
being in the moment moves on much too quickly

generational dysfunction and ptsd
a blight on my reality

it sucks

Victories

Redux

finally tasting
what it means to be proud
of myself
it took too many years
for me to be free
from the contempt
the shame
your shame
forced on me
always making me feel smaller
than you were
knocking me down
me losing my identity
giving up my right to believe in myself

what a horrible mother you were
damn you

treading water
for years
wasted years
of frustration and tears
pushing hard
to break barriers
and maintain
sure would have been easier
knowing my value

you were supposed to be on my side
damn you

did it without you
lived an honorable, scarred life
healed all the wounds
inside and out
ups and downs
gains with each effort
failure was not
an option
because

you weren’t ever my safety net
damn you

me
now
so much better than what was
my time has come
achieving my greatness
feeling good in my skin
owning the center
whole, and comprehending peace
it raises me above your pettiness
and your disgusting competition
finally

damn girl, 
so proud of you

Originally posted 1/29/2018 on I Write Her.

Primogenitors

The history of my ancestors clings stubbornly to my DNA. I feel a sense of belonging to the tribe of tattered spirits roaming in the garden of my past; their lives are embedded in me and shed light on my capabilities. Like an eager apprentice who hungers for more knowledge of the stories of days gone by, I walk with the ghost’s tales until my body is weary. I hope to salvage their frayed and fragile utterances and weave them into my present. Their skills passed down to me propelled me into a bright future. I’m grateful to my predecessors.

The Injurious Ones

they were already broken
when poor decisions
led to a new life

and another
and another
and another
and then another

luckily, only two of us
had to survive
the uncertain and chaotic world
with a distant father
and a mentally unstable mother

we survived
barely
boldly reclaiming the pieces
of our shattered existence
trying to steer away from repeating all the mistakes made
hopefully, ending up not looking at their same cracked reflection

Selma Martin

Routine

Easy for you to assign blame 
to the weaker in the clan
your stance sums respect 
standardized by elders
no softies get auditions 

You Will Never Know 

I saw you rowing stealthily 
from the pale shore 
suspended in purple mist
sent up a prayer— 
that’s what big sisters do—
your upswing or your undoing 

Cleansed (of excess) 

A small empty boat I was
floating in the lake of knowledge
small I return to my home port 
but empty I am no more 

You Smiled at Me 

One more round—
oh, how the years add up
I learn to live without 
our visits
In the pocket of the coat 
I kept for you
I pull out your favorite lipstick.
Slowly I walk to the mirror and 
swipe the stick on my upper lip,
below the Cupid’s bow
I smack my lips together,
tenderly, and watch you smile 
back at me in my reflection. 

Grief

At the end of the month 
is my birthday 
mail will arrive, friends will text 
by the dozen
but when the landline rings 
I will not answer 
I already know 
who it cannot be 
that’s calling

~~~

Selma Martin is a retired English teacher with 20 years of teaching children ESL. She has been published on Medium, Short Fiction Break, The Poetorium At Starlight, MasticadoresUSA, and Spillwords. In July 2023, she published her debut poetry collection, In The Shadow of Rainbows – EIF Publisher. Selma lives in Japan. This is Selma’s first feature with The Short of It.

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Two Creatives Getting Creative

As many of you know, I’m traveling again. This time, I’m in Burnsville, NC, with my dear friend Gail Leadenham. It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, and I’m so happy to spend this time with her in the backdrop of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

She and I decided to participate in this week’s Wordle. I hope you enjoy my weekly contribution as well as hers. It was fun to see how we would interpret the prompt words. It was interesting how we both went dark and sad. We are so morose! Also, we agreed that the titles for both pieces should be the same, only the stories are a bit different.

On Death’s Door

I wake to darkness, my buried secrets spilling out of me like vomit, making me feel wretched and ill. I weep inconsolably with regret and fiery anger. An unbearable, vast loneliness silently creeps into my psyche, rendering me unable to speak—like drowning in an invisible river. What a novel way to leave this world (insert sarcasm here, I think to myself, with a smile)—a wannabe Virginia Woolf not wanting to face reality. How dramatic. But yet, a plan takes shape. My demise will be forthcoming, and probably sooner than I’d anticipated. I ache with an intense pain being so alone.

~~~~~~~~~~

Watercolor by Gail Leadenham

On Death’s Door

The wake of my momma was filled with the darkness of the secrets kept hidden in the vast mystery of her death. Silently, I was unable to navigate the river of questions that could fill a novel. It was as though my world couldn’t face the ache of being alone. Momma could enter a disparaged room and, within minutes, bring a smile to everyone’s lips. But now, that once vibrant 91-year-old woman had clearly been neglected. I can still visualize my sweet momma’s face in a final death grip, eyes and mouth wide open in the recesses of my mind.

Inspired by The Sunday Whirl – Wordle

This Place Called Home

my physical realm informs me
earth is my home
no matter where i land

my emotional senses tell me
some people are home
making me feel loved and alive
providing safety

feeling home frees us
yet connections bind us
so why do i feel so disconnected
from this place where i live
i’d like to feel at home with all earth’s inhabitants

Ken Gierke

Brilliance

Her light is an oasis
in a landscape
of seeming darkness,

the world around her
dimmed by comparison.
That light holds a music

to wake my mind
from slumber with passion
that echoes my own,

offers assurance of a path
through any shadow
that may lie before us.

As Above

so below, within the pulse
star fields emerge
flames engulf, recede, reveal
depth in layers always there
currents conceal nothing, everything
perception eclipsed as stars dance
light washes away perception
an amorphous birth
confirmation of connection
in a quickening pulse

Better Left Behind

A dropped bone is no loss,
once you realize
it was your own, gnawed
by the scavengers
surrounding you.
What is prized by you
should not be determined
by others. You may
come out limping,
but you will walk tall.

Moonbeam Picnic

I listen to our shadows on a night picnic,
visited by words in raining moonbeams
that bring dream sense magic.
Giving them our real names,
I sing to the stars of my love for you
with controlled abandon.
What is our image? Poems and the body,
think of them as one, alive on the nights
you love me most, over the moon.

Limp Bellows

A hearth glows with deception. Flames lick
within, between, around, at the edges

of forms sculpted not by those flames
seeming to rise from embers not embers,

beneath forms not charred logs,
lacking life as ceramic will do,

denying the senses further of the crackle of life,
the shifting of a form succumbing to the seeping

of energy at the end of its life. Instead, fueled
among unchanging forms by a source metered,

piped to that hearth by a provider indifferent
to the romance meant to be conveyed by the flames.

Speak to me directly, without deception
that fans flames long gone out.

Tapestry

Fathers and brothers, sisters and mothers
Triumphs and trials, happiness and sorrow
Woven through tales past and those yet to finish
Blended with those of our children’s children
A tapestry with folds that hold a fortune for those
Who understand the wealth of those tales, a texture
Felt in a moment of revelation with a child
An afternoon with a friend, a lifetime with a loved one
A brilliance in its deepest folds that inspires
In times of darkness or light, then and now
Woven as we come together to share that wealth
Ease the depth of that darkness, our compassion
Among the finest threads of life’s tapestry

Harmless Lunacy

I greet the full moon
with anticipation,
each month waiting for
what it has to tell me,
each month finding myself
putting words in its mouth.
I never tire of this game
with no solution,
no wrong answer,
and never a reason to doubt.

Binding Light

An interstellar pulse measured
through passing clouds survives
occlusion in the syncopation of two hearts
that breathless moment between.

Eyes turn from the night sky
find each other the darkness
meaningless a spark passing
between joining them.

A pulse quickens knowing
the difference is less than
the distance between
two hearts beating as one.

~~~

Ken Gierke writes primarily free verse and haiku. His poetry has been published or is forthcoming both in print and online in places such as The Short of It, Amethyst Review, As It Ought to Be Magazine, Ekphrastic Review, Poetry Breakfast, and Silver Birch Press. His first collection of poetry, Glass Awash, was published by Spartan Press in 2022. His website: https://rivrvlogr.com/ Ken was first featured in 2020 and then again in 2022. You can find his work HERE.

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If you’d like to be featured on The Short of It in the future,
click here for the submission guidelines.

Vol 1 The Sound of Brilliance and Vol 2 Reflections & Revelations on Amazon