when the world you want
fades away
fantasies of what could have been
maybe should have been
continue to plague your mind
withdrawing internally
from that which wasn’t attained
it digs at your essence
desires just sharp reminders that you failed
weave in and out of your mind
everything feels hollow
surrounded by emptiness
your head, heart, and your soul buried under sand
drifting further away from reality
you are alone with your madness
making bad decisions
just to survive
just enough sabotage
to ruin my day
surviving despite it
even thriving on occasion
even elegantly
to brighten my day
Cravenly holding on when both should be letting go.
It will get better.
Struggling, wishing for the scenarios of rosier times.
Hoping it gets better.
Reality churns out a present of mediocre.
It’s not getting better.
Feeling panic and sadness, a demise is imminent.
It must get better!
Fade to black…
Now, I’ll get better.
You’ll judge my being.
I’m hesitant to show me,
afraid of failure.
I Write Her 