Redux
who are you?
who are you really?
what you show, beauty
what you feel, ugly
where do you see this going?
where do you think?
when you laugh, it’s only all the right things
when you cry, in private
why do you hurt me?
why do you always hurt me?
how you act, pretentious
how i feel, awful
love rushes in
is it real
sweetness takes hold
should i trust
damn previous relationships
i doubt authenticity
Redux
“One of the most powerful art pieces from Burning Man: A sculpture of two adults after a disagreement, sitting with their backs to each other. Yet, the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect. Age has many beautiful gifts, but one we could live without is the pride and resentment we hold onto when we have conflicts with others. The forgiving, free spirit of children is our true nature. Remember this when you feel stubborn.” ~ https://me.me/i/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-from-burning-man-9259489~
seething in silence
hot tears to the inside
wanting resolution in a war of no words
terrified to lose you but only wanting to win
the walls are getting thicker and higher
harder to tear down
we are a problem not wanting to be solved
Originally posted November 1, 2018, on I Write Her.
Inspired by Eugenia’s Weekly Prompt – Promises
promises not kept
diluting goodwill and trust
the demise of love
Redux
Anxiety and apprehension refusing me calmness.
No refuge in my thoughts.
Grown babies contributing to the current
State of the world. I’m feeling
Tremors and unease, continually.
you are innocent
until proven guilty
until you are
no longer innocent
in other words
i will believe you
until
i can’t believe you
going down that road
again
trying one more time
again
that saying sticks in my head
again
doing the same thing and expecting different results
again
it’s madness
again
Storms rage destruction but will turn to calm, and then disappear. Following a weather event, the beings of nature will re-emerge, and continue as if never put on hold. Life keeps on going.
I find myself wishing for that pattern after a betrayal or a disappointment. If only let-downs were this easy. I know we can move on from emotional devastation but thinking it won’t afflict us again doesn’t seem to. Getting back to trust is difficult. It’s like trying to put on size ten pants when you are a size sixteen.
Trusting implies you are not suspicious. Doubt doesn’t even enter your vocabulary because there has been no reason for it to exist. Until – “enter devastating event”. The before was so good that the during was unbelievable but making the after so predictable.
When bad things happen, you don’t come away unscathed. The lingering pain and fear hang on. Millions of thoughts occupy scenarios played out over and over again. It’s an unrelenting torrent of destruction in your head and your heart. Created by another, but a continuing saga you perpetuate.
Having deep trust comes from someone earning it for an apparent reason. And losing it means a much harder return to normal. Actually, almost impossible.
All I wish for is Hurricane Personal Tragedy to be behind me.
who are you?
who are you really?
what you show, beauty
what you feel, ugly
where do you see this going?
where do you think?
when you laugh, it’s only all the right things
when you cry, in private
why do you hurt me?
why do you always hurt me?
how you act, pretentious
how i feel, awful
One of the most powerful art pieces from Burning Man: A sculpture of two adults after a disagreement, sitting with their backs to each other. Yet, the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect. Age has many beautiful gifts but one we could live without is the pride and resentment we hold onto when we have conflicts with others. The forgiving, free spirit of children is our true nature. Remember this when you feel stubborn.
~ https://me.me/i/one-of-the-most-powerful-art-pieces-from-burning-man-9259489~
seething in silence
hot tears to the inside
wanting resolution in a war of no words
terrified to lose you but only wanting to win
the walls are getting thicker, higher
harder to tear down
we are a problem not wanting to be solved
I Write Her 