The Interview

Those companies are so sketchy! They will ply you with hard-to-resist glamorous gifts as you try to fend yourself from the spell they are trying to put you under—all because you’re a six-time Oscar-winning actor! Thankfully, you still have your integrity as you let the fog lift and resume life as usual. You hold onto your ethics and refuse to be their brand, dear! And why should you? You can have that life ten times over as a sorceress if you want it. How else do they think you got that many Oscars? It certainly wasn’t because of your talent.

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