A lifetime of difficulties landed hard.
Years of sadness, extremes, and bullshit highs.
Insecurities abounded and chaos prevailed.
Welcome to my world.
I was educated on “What will the people think?” stability.
Happy, healthy home – yeah, that was an illusion.
Inconsistent love led to inward rage,
me only always wanting to run away.
Her generation’s dysfunction and the ones before were handed down.
The family poison designed to slowly kill your mind over time.
But she never counted on me fighting hard for my sanity.
I wouldn’t accept this lame gift fraught with pain.
So I cut ties and let her go.
It helped to put up clearly marked boundaries.
I could finally breathe.
I rose above the insanity to find my peace.
Then she died.
The drama spanning generations ceased.
My inheritance was freedom.
Something she never experienced.
I Write Her 
‘ It helped to put up clearly marked boundaries.’ Nice take. To write it all is not easy, it needs courage. Kudos.
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Most definitely it’s gotten easier to describe those moments of my past but you are right, being there in those emotions again can sometimes be difficult, but necessary. Thanks for stopping by, Indira! <3
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Welcome, dear.
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A powerful piece, Susi! I feel many can relate to the emotional stress created by a dysfunctional family. Good for you for hanging your emotions out to dry!
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Appreciate it, Eugenia! It’s shocking how prevalent dysfunction exists. Me personally, I think every potential parent should be licensed. As to hanging out emotions – it’s what I do! ;) I’ve found I’m so much better for it! :)
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Parents should be licensed – good idea, Susi!
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:)
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One has to take an extreme step to save oneself. Glad you’re finally free.
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It’s the big things in life. Thank you! <3
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I agree💕
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
“My inheritance” ….by Susi Bocks
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I love this piece. Especially the lines
“But she never counted on me fighting hard for my sanity.
I wouldn’t accept this lame gift fraught with pain.”
and
“Freedom she never experienced”
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Thanks, Reena! This wasn’t an easy one to write.
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It cannot be.
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Prescient (my life right now), in this moment, apposite, perfect prose, poetically positioned to move my heart. Thank you. Not your mama’s broken heart/mind, not mine either…
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You’re welcome. I’m happy for you. :)
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Profound. The sun shines a bit differently now…
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Brighter :)
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A very good post.
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Thank you, Rabindranath!
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I had chills crawling down my skin reading this. Extremely intimate, extremely powerful.
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Thank you . I’m glad this piece had the emotional punch for you. You are correct, extreme was a good word to use. I feel a large part of my life was to learn to live in a somewhat normal fashion. <3
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A happy healthy family, is what everyone is wishing and longing for. Feels bad when one never experience it. Freedom sometimes is the key to happiness and peace. Great post, I love it😍
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Thank you! <3
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