Face Wide Open

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SayingImages.com

My being is expressive.

It’s not complicated, just hardly understood.

Listen with your eyes as I ripple towards you.

I love, it’s a smile.

There’s anger, it’s a scowl.

Shiny eyes, I’m laughing with you.

Tears falling, there’s devastation occurring.

Reaching for you, I need your touch.

Not making eye contact, you’ve lost me.

If the last thing you see is my back, I’m gone.

Forever…

 

**Originally published 1/10/18

Cook, Meditate, F#@k

Untitled

Pausing my distressed state, I distracted myself diving deeply into gastronomy.  Immersed and focused on fusing the flavors of carefully selected ingredients, I relished the finished product. Ingesting my creation, finding enjoyment in it, allowing a small measure of an easement to occur in my current state of dysfunction.

1

The problem at hand begged for inner reflection. Waking every morning was a ritual of opening the eyes and viewing out my bedroom window, just staring at the trees and listening to the sounds of nature. Sometimes for hours. Processing, mulling over and remembering every moment of pain. What felt like agony and torture initially gradually allowed a sense of understanding to move into the grey matter.

2

A deep need to release anger and frustration created a passion for a familiar act. I required the physical focus, a hungry attack on the flesh. It was an attempt at duplicating intensity, replacing pain with pleasure. And it was had.

The process helped.

I got through my trauma.

 

**Originally published 1/16/18

Damaging Honesty

liar_by_jeffrey1
wrdbnr.com

I look at you, and all I hear is silence.
But I found out anyway.

“I couldn’t bear to see you hurting.”
Right, your possible discomfort rates more than me.

It was the wrong decision to withhold.
Your value diminishes before my eyes.

And my pain is deep. It comes from your deception.
You kept quiet. That’s lying.

Your selfishness ruins me on so many levels.
I hate the result. I’m loathing you for it.

You aren’t truthful, and we suffer for it.
The partnership you claim to uphold so much.

You lied, and we became a lie.

I feel so dirty now.

 

** Originally posted 1/2/18