Torn

Redux

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i feel the incessant battles
of internal opposing forces
my personal war

feelings clashing
emotions raging
peace alluding me
rational thoughts tip-toe in intermittently

it’s a daily challenge
every minute
of every day

seeking tranquility in the chaos
hoping for a forced equilibrium
but usually tossed about by my innate human nature

developing intentional maturity
gains me some stability
slow and teetering baby steps
in the direction of wisdom

age and experience lend a hand
slowing down the urge to take up arms
so fed up
and just tired and weary

the beginning of acceptance
or true insight
not really sure

the continual striving for harmony during this brief stint
a life well-lived
i hope

with death comes peace
ending a lifetime of struggle
balancing the scales

i will not know it though
sure doesn’t seem fair

Originally published 8/13/2018 on I Write Her. Reposted with revisions.

13 thoughts on “Torn

  1. I find it interesting that your words from 2018 are still applicable today. I’ve brought back several of my poems from 2017 and 2018 which seem so apt for today’s world. Excellent writing, Susi.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s the beauty of humanity, I think! What attracted me to poetry is even those back going back to ancient times echoed many of the same thoughts we have today. We really are human and all the times we live in don’t change that fact, only our technology keeps up. 🙂 Thanks, Eugenia!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The lyrics are powerful …
        .
        I see you in windows
        That open so wide
        There’s nothing beyond them
        And no one inside

        You kick off your sandals
        And shake out your hair
        The salt on your shoulders
        Like sparks in the air

        There’s silt on your ankles
        And sand on your feet
        The river too shallow
        The ocean too deep

        You smile at your suffering
        The sweetest reprieve
        Why did you leave us?
        Why did you leave?

        You kick off your sandals
        And shake out your hair
        It’s torn where you’re dancing
        It’s torn everywhere

        It’s torn on the right
        And it’s torn on the left
        It’s torn in the centre
        Which few can accept

        It’s torn where there’s beauty
        It’s torn where there’s death
        It’s torn where there’s mercy
        But torn somewhat less

        It’s torn in the highest
        From kingdom to crown
        The messages fly
        But the network is down

        Bruised at the shoulder
        And cut at the wrist
        The sea rushes home
        To its thimble of mist

        The opposites falter
        The spirals reverse
        And Eve must re-enter
        The sleep of her birth

        And up through the system
        The worlds are withdrawn
        From every dominion
        The mind stood upon

        And now that you told her
        And now that it’s done
        The name has no number
        Not even the one

        Come gather the pieces
        All scattered and lost
        The lie in what’s holy
        The light in what’s not

        The story’s been written
        The letter’s been sealed
        You gave me a lily
        But now it’s a field

        You kick off your sandals
        And shake out your hair
        It’s torn where you’re dancing
        It’s torn everywhere

        AnnaPopova 2021-09-10 16:09:44
        My feeling is that this song is about dying. There are lots of references to Christ and Christianity, saying your good byes to life, seeing things from outwordly perspective. It is unimaginably beautiful, like written by someone who lived through dying, who died before. Most of it cant be explained logically, just felt – what is the meaning of great poetry anyway. many of our human experiences can ve expressed only thorough the paradox – “The lie in what is holy, the light in what’s not”. It is torn, like in birth, like a mother’s body is torn for the baby to come through. Death as rebirth, death as birthing oneself – it is incredibly strong, both cerebral and emotional, almost hard to keep experiencing it…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think your feeling is spot on, Ivor. I felt it in these lines particularly:
        It’s torn in the highest
        From kingdom to crown
        The messages fly
        But the network is down

        It speaks of the many unanswered prayers when loved ones are suffering, and perhaps dying.

        It is definitely a deep and profound song, and just like poetry, one you’ll want to keep going back to to uncover it’s meaning. Thank you for posting it, Ivor. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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