The piece below by Walt Page prompted this comment from me –

We should empathize with our eyes, our bodies giving full attention, letting the sounds
 of sincere words resonate in our ears.

– as well as embroiling me in more thoughts about listening. Thank you for the inspiration, Walt!

He is so right that it’s time, beyond time. I wonder why it’s always been such a difficult thing for us humans. Communication is such an important aspect of relationships. Yet, we shy away from it initially, fail miserably when the thresholds of civility are pushed, and feel hampered when trust is thin. I’m generous; probably more than a small minority is afflicted.

After letting my mind wander through possible reasons for this, I go back to being a small child, when I was chastised or told to be quiet way too often. My opinions were shot down often, me frequently having to defend them in heated arguments, taken seriously rarely or worse criticized for having them. I honestly think it hampered my ability to listen and limited my desire to communicate sincerely. There was no genuine intention for all parties to be heard. My upbringing and my incessant need to prove myself was far more important. I was, more often than not, considered a hothead at the very least, argumentative. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

As I grew older, living on my own, raising children after two marriages, I feel like I softened. Not right away, more like when I reached middle-age. First, I had to admit to myself that it’s not always fun to embroil myself in heated arguments. Secondly, I finally got to the point where I felt the need to be heard wasn’t just the communicator’s responsibility. My ears had to be in the conversation too.

My parents may have screwed up in their parenting, but being an adult, I realized how important it was to engage and to do it sincerely. Most people are horrible communicators, but maybe I need to remember that maybe they had terrible parents too.

It’s Time

It’s time to listen
to really hear
to pay attention
to what’s being said

too often we pretend to listen
while our minds are wandering
worrying about money
the corona virus, our children

even when we are alone we don’t really listen
we don’t hear the sounds of silence
the songs of the birds or the power of the wind
what our animals are saying with their eyes

so listen… really listen
hear the sounds around you
the music of the night
the time has come

it’s time to listen

~The Tennessee Poet~
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